TALKING ABOUT SEX! (Harmless) [Archive]

DJ Keith Porter

12-12-2003, 07:50 AM

I Got this in an e-mail and thought it was really funny and some what true. Enjoy..

Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is
> sexually active or not?
>
> 1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women
> make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which
> makes hair shine and skin smooth.
>
> 2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering
> dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
>
> 3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that
> romantic dinner.
>
> 4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and
> tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than
> swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
>
> 5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into
> the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you
> with a feeling of well-being.
>
> 6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually
> active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones.
> These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
>
> 7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE
> EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
>
> 8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages
> saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that
> causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
>
> 9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release
> the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
>
> 10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural
> antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

Wild i

12-12-2003, 08:53 AM

Originally posted by DJ Keith Porter:
...you don't need special sneakers!
Damn! I've been doing it all wrong! graemlins/conf44.gif

[ December 12, 2003, 08:53 AM: Message edited by: Wild i ]

DJ Keith Porter

12-12-2003, 09:34 AM

Originally posted by Wild i:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DJ Keith Porter:
...you don't need special sneakers!
Damn! I've been doing it all wrong! graemlins/conf44.gif [/QUOTE]What happen Wild I you thought wearing a pair of Nikes would "JUST DO IT"!
:D

MYOR

12-12-2003, 10:17 AM

The lengthe men go to to get more http://deephousepage.com/smilies/focking.gif

http://deephousepage.com/smilies/listen2.gifCum on baby its good for you.. It can bring about world peace.. End world hunger...

icon_rofl.gif

Wild i

12-12-2003, 10:43 AM

Originally posted by DJ Keith Porter:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Wild i:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DJ Keith Porter:
...you don't need special sneakers!
Damn! I've been doing it all wrong! graemlins/conf44.gif [/QUOTE]What happen Wild I you thought wearing a pair of Nikes would "JUST DO IT"!
:D [/QUOTE]Pretty much. You mean that doesn't work? Talk about false advertising. graemlins/cussing.gif

DJ Keith Porter

12-12-2003, 11:21 AM

Originally posted by MYOR:
The lengthe men go to to get more http://deephousepage.com/smilies/focking.gif

http://deephousepage.com/smilies/listen2.gifCum on baby its good for you.. It can bring about world peace.. End world hunger...

icon_rofl.gif
Cum on baby its good for you.. It can bring about world peace.. End world hunger...hahahahahahahahahaha!
I know you believe that?
graemlins/beerchug.gif

Peace is what we really need!
More peace more peace! hhhuuuummmm.. Notice my signature!
http://deephousepage.com/smilies/focking.gif graemlins/1luvu.gif & http://deephousepage.com/smilies/banana.gif

[ December 12, 2003, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: DJ Keith Porter ]

Mack-Williams

12-12-2003, 11:29 AM

Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up.

i.be.me

12-12-2003, 11:49 AM

Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS coupon and tell her to buy some Clearasil.

[ December 12, 2003, 01:31 PM: Message edited by: i.be.me ]

Mack-Williams

12-12-2003, 11:51 AM

Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Man sometimes what they look like in the face don't matter as long as they down with you for the night. I am never depressed.

Brut by Faberge

12-12-2003, 11:51 AM

DJ Keith Porter

12-12-2003, 12:36 PM

Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. Nice line... Now try it out and get back to us! graemlins/rofl.gif

MYOR

12-12-2003, 12:40 PM

Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Man sometimes what they look like in the face don't matter as long as they down with you for the night. I am never depressed. [/QUOTE]Here baby just put this bag on... graemlins/bolt.gif

DJ Keith Porter

12-12-2003, 12:46 PM

Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Nah Clearasil will take a couple of days. Sex is instant cleansing! http://deephousepage.com/smilies/music049.gif

More peace http://deephousepage.com/smilies/focking.gifMore peace http://deephousepage.com/smilies/focking.gifMore peace http://deephousepage.com/smilies/focking.gif

Mack-Williams

12-12-2003, 01:11 PM

Originally posted by MYOR:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Man sometimes what they look like in the face don't matter as long as they down with you for the night. I am never depressed. [/QUOTE]Here baby just put this bag on... graemlins/bolt.gif [/QUOTE]I have my limits. Something about her I have to be attracted too.

DJ Keith Porter

12-12-2003, 01:11 PM

Originally posted by MYOR:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Man sometimes what they look like in the face don't matter as long as they down with you for the night. I am never depressed. [/QUOTE]Here baby just put this bag on... graemlins/bolt.gif [/QUOTE]Here I am baby waiting for you http://www.paperbaghead.com/bagmate/images/bagmate_okt_big.jpg

mdpm99

12-12-2003, 01:12 PM

smile.gif

d

MYOR

12-12-2003, 01:14 PM

Originally posted by DJ Keith Porter:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by MYOR:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Man sometimes what they look like in the face don't matter as long as they down with you for the night. I am never depressed. [/QUOTE]Here baby just put this bag on... graemlins/bolt.gif [/QUOTE]Here I am baby waiting for you http://www.paperbaghead.com/bagmate/images/bagmate_okt_big.jpg [/QUOTE]HELL NO... I HAVE TO HAVE LIGHTS ON AND ENJOY WHAT I'M LOOKING AT...

i.be.me

12-12-2003, 01:28 PM

Originally posted by DJ Keith Porter:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Nah Clearasil will take a couple of days. Sex is instant cleansing! http://deephousepage.com/smilies/music049.gif

More peace http://deephousepage.com/smilies/focking.gifMore peace http://deephousepage.com/smilies/focking.gifMore peace http://deephousepage.com/smilies/focking.gif [/QUOTE]guess you got a point there Keith. must confess, my skin is as clear as a bell, and as you can see, i'm not that familiar with the product, don't even know how to spell it! icon_rofl.gif

JMJ

12-12-2003, 01:35 PM

JMJ

12-12-2003, 01:40 PM

Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Man sometimes what they look like in the face don't matter as long as they down with you for the night. I am never depressed. [/QUOTE]http://www.janhoo.com/america/front.jpg

Please call her, Mr. Happy.......JMJ

Mack-Williams

12-12-2003, 01:43 PM

Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Man sometimes what they look like in the face don't matter as long as they down with you for the night. I am never depressed. [/QUOTE]http://www.janhoo.com/america/front.jpg
Please call her, Mr. Happy.......JMJ [/QUOTE]Man I would have her cooking for me. You know I'm a bachelor and can't cook. That would be my home cook meal girl.

JMJ

12-12-2003, 01:45 PM

Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Man sometimes what they look like in the face don't matter as long as they down with you for the night. I am never depressed. [/QUOTE]http://www.janhoo.com/america/front.jpg
Please call her, Mr. Happy.......JMJ [/QUOTE]Man I would have her cooking for me. You know I'm a bachelor and can't cook. That would be my home cook meal girl. [/QUOTE]You would starve. I'd have to send you 32 cents a day.....JMJ

DJ Keith Porter

12-12-2003, 01:47 PM

Originally posted by MYOR:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DJ Keith Porter:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by MYOR:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Man sometimes what they look like in the face don't matter as long as they down with you for the night. I am never depressed. [/QUOTE]Here baby just put this bag on... graemlins/bolt.gif [/QUOTE]Here I am baby waiting for you http://www.paperbaghead.com/bagmate/images/bagmate_okt_big.jpg [/QUOTE]HELL NO... I HAVE TO HAVE LIGHTS ON AND ENJOY WHAT I'M LOOKING AT... [/QUOTE]Is this enough light for you baby! http://assets.twacomm.com/1569886307/product_images/8020.jpg
Cause Im scared of the dark. graemlins/scared.gif

[ December 12, 2003, 01:49 PM: Message edited by: DJ Keith Porter ]

And

12-12-2003, 02:03 PM

Originally posted by DJ Keith Porter:
I Got this in an e-mail and thought it was really funny and some what true. Enjoy..

Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is sexually active or not?

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.Heyyyyyy! I object ... I have clear skin for other reasons ... Genetics ... Sigh ... graemlins/rofl.gif

Erika R.

12-12-2003, 02:14 PM

Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Man sometimes what they look like in the face don't matter as long as they down with you for the night. I am never depressed. [/QUOTE]http://www.janhoo.com/america/front.jpg
Please call her, Mr. Happy.......JMJ [/QUOTE]Man I would have her cooking for me. You know I'm a bachelor and can't cook. That would be my home cook meal girl. [/QUOTE]You would starve. I'd have to send you 32 cents a day.....JMJ [/QUOTE]http://deephousepage.com/smilies/hahaha.gif

Okay....I'm in tears! graemlins/lol.gif

Wild i

12-12-2003, 02:42 PM

Originally posted by Erika R.:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Man sometimes what they look like in the face don't matter as long as they down with you for the night. I am never depressed. [/QUOTE]http://www.janhoo.com/america/front.jpg
Please call her, Mr. Happy.......JMJ [/QUOTE]Man I would have her cooking for me. You know I'm a bachelor and can't cook. That would be my home cook meal girl. [/QUOTE]You would starve. I'd have to send you 32 cents a day.....JMJ [/QUOTE]http://deephousepage.com/smilies/hahaha.gif

Okay....I'm in tears! graemlins/lol.gif [/QUOTE]I HAVE ASKED YOU PEOPLE A MILLION TIMES NOT TO POST PICTURES OF MY WIFE ON THE BOARD! graemlins/cussing.gif graemlins/cussing.gif

[ December 12, 2003, 02:43 PM: Message edited by: Wild i ]

DJ Keith Porter

12-12-2003, 02:56 PM

Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Man sometimes what they look like in the face don't matter as long as they down with you for the night. I am never depressed. [/QUOTE]http://www.janhoo.com/america/front.jpg

Please call her, Mr. Happy.......JMJ [/QUOTE]She don't need a papper bag she needs a box of garbage bags! Yuck!
Big is beautiful but THAT'S TOO DAM BIG! Jeeezzeee

JMJ

12-12-2003, 03:18 PM

Originally posted by DJ Keith Porter:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by i.be.me:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Mack-Williams:
Me walking up to a girl with acne. I know how to clear that up. eeeewwwwwhhhhhhhh! just give her a CVS cupon and tel her to buy some Clearisol. [/QUOTE]Man sometimes what they look like in the face don't matter as long as they down with you for the night. I am never depressed. [/QUOTE]http://www.janhoo.com/america/front.jpg

Please call her, Mr. Happy.......JMJ [/QUOTE]She don't need a papper bag she needs a box of garbage bags! Yuck!
Big is beautiful but THAT'S TOO DAM BIG! Jeeezzeee [/QUOTE]Imagine the damage she could do to a toilet.......JMJ

P.S. Shame on me!! graemlins/spanka.gif

KBig

12-12-2003, 03:59 PM

I always knew protein was good for the skin. graemlins/rofl.gif

Nothing like a some "Richard" to relieve stress, depression,a headache and endorphins....

Commericial: Cindy, your face looks old and wrinkly,Have you had your Richard today? icon_rofl.gif

KBig

12-12-2003, 04:00 PM

Alanda Marquette from DiscoLadyLand

12-12-2003, 07:04 PM

"Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth."

I wondered why my hair looks silky and my skin looks young and blemished free. biggrinangel.gif

[ December 12, 2003, 07:06 PM: Message edited by: DiscoLady ]