Jilted DJ speaks!

[Insert pseudonym here]

Hi.

I'm an American DJ. I'm here in the West Midlands, trying to earnestly find a gig and infect some people with my interpretation of dance music.

Here's the story:

There is a bar in a place called Moseley that I would like to DJ. Nothing superstar glam, just a nice bar/pub/lounge and I like the vibe (plus they serve American Budweiser --- that is a big perk in my book). I walk up to the manager and ask (on several occassions) "May I give you a CD in regards to dj-ing here?" Manager says don't bother giving it to me, call the main office and submit it to them. They pick the DJ(s).

Cool.

Being a bit tenacious and eager, I follow up with management.

First, I follow up via email. You know the score, Promo, mix url, web address and such. Nicely presented.

No return communique.

Secondly, I follow up via postcard. Used eye-catching post card, printed my web information on it and sent it to management.

No return communique.

Third, I call. Speak to someone in music management to book the club. They give me the exact person to contact. I humbly thank them for their assistance.

I create a nice marketing package, send off letter, promo, CD and another postcard (right... accounting is my major, but I should've been in marketing...). That was the week of 11 August 2003.

No call back.

Today, I follow up via phone. Admin assistant is giving me the bleep'n flux on the phone. You know the drill. "...And you are!" So, I tell her my pseudonym and ask her to kindly search for my promotional CD. Especially since this snot nose *** Brit chick is giving me the Ms. Divine monologue on the phone.

"All correspondence comes through me."
"Surely, I would've seen it first."
"Mr. Blah Blah Blah's mail is filtered by me first, let me give you my name."
"Your an American DJ, right?"

All this... why?
I don't know... I have my speculations but I keep a firm position on the phone.

I kindly ask her that I would like to send another communique via fax to Mr. Blah Blah Blah, could you please give me the fax number.

So, I prepare another marketing/ promotional package in fascimile format. (Right, I'm a no-limit solider when it comes to a goal... tenacious, I say!)

This broad cuts my fax off in mid-transmission.

WTF?

So, I sent the fax on autofax to fax it again.

Okay, now it goes through.

... I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like I don't know why I'm getting the bleep'n flux!

It's got to do with my skin, my nationality and my sex. Brum is not fooling anyone, especially me.

Bleep'n f******!

Sorry I have to rant, but I just don't appreciate mofo(s) doing me dirty on GP.

[mdpm99]

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Hang in there!

smile.gif

d

[blackwax]

This is unfortuanatley the norm with many u.k clubs!!!

you have to know someone on the "inside" to get a gig

boy it sucks

where are you based?

[So easy a protic can do it (QUAD)]

DUDE, "MARTIN RED" (FAMILY MEMBER HERE IN DHP) IS FROM THERE. VERY COOL PEEPS. MAYBE HE KNOWS SOMEONE IN THE CLUB SCENE THERE? EMAIL HIM AND ASK. COULD BE AN OPEN DOOR FOR YA. TELL HIM "smigley munters" :D SENT CHA. HE'LL KNOW WHO IT IS....


"great bridges are built not only for crossing, but they also connect between points "A" & "B"...

[ September 08, 2003, 09:55 AM: Message edited by: DJ QUAD ]

[Barrie Moodswing]

Originally posted by blackwax:
This is unfortuanatley the norm with many u.k clubs!!!

you have to know someone on the "inside" to get a gig

boy it sucks

where are you based? You hit the nail on the head there Blackwax

[TAD]

fvck 'em. you don't need them. don't waste your precious energy on ungrateful people. move on.

[mhd]

Originally posted by DJ QUAD:
DUDE, "MARTIN RED" (FAMILY MEMBER HERE IN DHP) IS FROM THERE. VERY COOL PEEPS. MAYBE HE KNOWS SOMEONE IN THE CLUB SCENE THERE? EMAIL HIM AND ASK. COULD BE AN OPEN DOOR FOR YA. TELL HIM "smigley munters" :D SENT CHA. HE'LL KNOW WHO IT IS....


"great bridges are built not only for crossing, but they also connect between points "A" & "B"... now this is funny

[Rob.J]

Fcuk them Efab......

Taking a trip down to London for my B'Day in Nov, for the LOWLIFE party that Ladyboy puts on.

You and Nev fancy it, Gonna ask Martin R as well.

Keep ya Head up...chick

rob

Also if after all of this nonsense you're still interested in getting your cd to the manager ( i take it we are talking about the 'the bulls head' ), i can most likely pass it on.

[ September 08, 2003, 02:21 PM: Message edited by: Rob.J ]

[mdpm99]

You Know It's A Bad Day When..

Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels.

The worst player on the golf course wants to play you for money.

You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.

You get to work and find a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.

You turn on the evening news and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.

Your 4-year-old tells you that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.

You discover that your 12-year-old's idea of humor is putting crazy glue in your PreparationH.

You wake up to the soothing sound of running water...and remember that you just bought awaterbed.

The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

You wake up and your braces are stuck together.

You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.

Your income tax refund check bounces.

You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

You compliment the boss' wife on her unusual perfume and she isn't wearing any.

You call your wife and tell her that you would like to eat out tonight and when you get homethere is a sandwich on the front porch.

The restaurant check has been on the table for ten minutes...and no one has touched it.

Nothing you own is actually paid for.

Airline food starts to taste good.

Your doctor tells you that you are allergic to chocolate chip cookies.

Your cat abandons the nice box you prepared for her and has her kittens in your dresserdrawer.

Everyone loves your driver's license picture.

You realize that the phone number on the bathroom wall of the bar is yours.

Your kids start treating you the same way you treated your parents.

The gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.

People think you are 40...and you really are.

[Vman]

good one d! lolz! yo efab, just keep doin what youre doin and your time will come=)


v

[So easy a protic can do it (QUAD)]

Originally posted by david mancuso:
You Know It's A Bad Day When..

Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels.

The worst player on the golf course wants to play you for money.

You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.

You get to work and find a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.

You turn on the evening news and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.

Your 4-year-old tells you that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.

You discover that your 12-year-old's idea of humor is putting crazy glue in your PreparationH.

You wake up to the soothing sound of running water...and remember that you just bought awaterbed.

The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

You wake up and your braces are stuck together.

You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.

Your income tax refund check bounces.

You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

You compliment the boss' wife on her unusual perfume and she isn't wearing any.

You call your wife and tell her that you would like to eat out tonight and when you get homethere is a sandwich on the front porch.

The restaurant check has been on the table for ten minutes...and no one has touched it.

Nothing you own is actually paid for.

Airline food starts to taste good.

Your doctor tells you that you are allergic to chocolate chip cookies.

Your cat abandons the nice box you prepared for her and has her kittens in your dresserdrawer.

Everyone loves your driver's license picture.

You realize that the phone number on the bathroom wall of the bar is yours.

Your kids start treating you the same way you treated your parents.

The gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.

People think you are 40...and you really are. graemlins/lol.gif graemlins/lol.gif graemlins/lol.gif graemlins/lol.gif graemlins/lol.gif graemlins/lol.gif graemlins/lol.gif DUDE!!!!!!!!! I'M IN THE LIBRARY READIN THIS AND IN TEARS TRYIN TO KEEP FROM LAUGHIN MY ASS OFF!!!!!

[liL Ray]

Efab....start your own thang....don't wait or rely on others....the scenery may change, but the blueprint is still the same....if you want it bad enough(and I know you do), build it....they will come!

[Jolyon]

Efab - a blessing in disguise. These people sound like rude clueless idiots - would you want to work for them anyway?

Things here are probably no different from the US - it's all about contacts or doing things from scratch....it's not easy out there these days.

Good luck and Keep On!

[Insert pseudonym here]

Originally posted by Rob.J:
Fcuk them Efab......

Taking a trip down to London for my B'Day in Nov, for the LOWLIFE party that Ladyboy puts on.

You and Nev fancy it, Gonna ask Martin R as well.

Keep ya Head up...chick

rob

Also if after all of this nonsense you're still interested in getting your cd to the manager ( i take it we are talking about the 'the bulls head' ), i can most likely pass it on. Thanks Rob... but I'm thinking about hiring a boat calling it the Mayflower and rediscovering America. LOL! After yesterday, I am slowly losing interest in pursuing gigs in Brum. My love of music will never die but I'm too old to be putting up with such silly bullshyte ... plus my nerves is bad. LOL!

I'll make sure I ask Nev about Nov. However, I'm planning a Thanksgiving feast, so if its around Thanksgiving Nev will be too busy being stuffed by my succulent turkey and dressing.

Take care
~Efab!

[palang]

used to come across this a lot efab - still do - but eventualy...

"dont want nobody to give me nothing (open up the door, Ill get it myself) " - james brown

keep on keeping on! graemlins/thumbsup.gif

[Insert pseudonym here]

Originally posted by liL Ray:
Efab....start your own thang....don't wait or rely on others....the scenery may change, but the blueprint is still the same....if you want it bad enough(and I know you do), build it....they will come! I wanted to do that...

Unfortunately, the change in labor laws in the UK as of 01 April 2003... it is ILLEGAL for me (alone) to start a business in the UK without prior permission first. Parties cost money and I need work to get some GBP notes... and they won't let me work without a work permit. The law changed saying that you must strive to hire a British National first, a member of the European Union second, economically distress friends of the European Union third... and then there is me, Americana Negrita way at the bottom of the totem pole. Even if I'm more qualified than the other candidates, I'm still last in line for cheese. 'Cause if they hire me they have to write the government a 2 page assessment of why everyone else was not qualified, even if trained and why I'm superior in qualifications, then the government may think about granting a work permit. Also without a work permit, I cannot perform anything resembling work, paid or volunteer or I'm getting carted out the country - middle passage stylee! Oh yeah, irregardless of the fact that I'm married and my husband is a British National. LOL! It's not funny, but damn you just gotta laugh anyway! I can't even get you a big mac and large fries... ya' heard... diz-amn. graemlins/rofl.gif

Well there is a silver lining in this ball of yarn, I've applied for Leave To Remain and if the government so chooses to grant me permission to remain with my husband... they will also grant me permission to work (Thank you Jesus!)

So keep your fingers crossed, I won't know anything until around the holidays. graemlins/conf44.gif

[ September 09, 2003, 04:54 AM: Message edited by: Insert pseudonym here ]

[Mah'chew]

It's the old you gotta be in it to win it scenario, UK is famous for it, especially as a few years ago it used to be like Dela sang, "everybody wants to be a DJ", these guys are using people they know already and be damned if they're going to let some Newbie encrouch on their space. They've probably received a 1,000 mixes and binned every single one of them... :(

Clique is not the word mad1.gif

[ September 09, 2003, 04:58 AM: Message edited by: Mah'chew ]

[Insert pseudonym here]

Originally posted by david mancuso:
You Know It's A Bad Day When..

The gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money. Thanks David... that list had me in stitches. Definitely put a smile on my face. :D

[Insert pseudonym here]

Originally posted by Jolyon:
Efab - a blessing in disguise.

Good luck and Keep On! Thanks Jolyon... I think you are right. My mother always told me " you don't leisurely want to be in a room amongst people where you had to fight your way in, now do you?".

[ngeso]

Efab,

what i'm about to say sucks, but there's truth to it.

when i was promoting my own club, i almost never looked at or listened to promotional material given to me by a DJ not known to me. on the other hand i booked a lot of DJs that were recommended to me by DJs/people in the business that i held in high(er) regard and trusted. i neither had the time nor the intuition nor the imagination nor the intellectual scope to deal with every single query pertaining to some DJ-time on my decks. and i had requests at the rate of about three per day. a lot of them from a bunch of blaggers, a lot of them from complete a**holes, and a lot from people who never bothered to understand exacly how my club, floor, concept, etc. was meant to work (BTW, the emphasis here is on "my", as in "mine", as in "we do things my way or none at all"). quite frankly, from the promoting side you get to meet a lot of people that you don't really like, and a lot of these are DJs.

i know it sounds arrogant, and i know i missed a lot of great performers this way (believe me: there were some, that ended up at other clubs, and i got to hear them eventually, only to kick myself in the a**), but i believe this is how the business works a lot of the time. i'm not saying this because i think you are one of these people that i used to dread when i was actively promoting - i'm saying it to help you understand how these guys you're dealing with probably work.

as was said before, get to know someone on the inside, someone who WILL listen to your stuff, and subsequently get them to push this thing through.

guidance & perseverance. ngeso. smile.gif

[jihad muhammad]

to my sister...keep your head up! dont give up! it will all come together. you have been my inspiration so let me give some back. you are the shit so folks aint gonna understand in the beginning. give them time and dont let that brit vs american stuff affect your drive.


you brother

[beaniboy67]

Sounds like the UK.If i was you i would not let that bar get you down in the dumps!Im from Scotland and it works the same way here.CD's handed into a club or bar wont get you a gig i dont think.Its tuff but i can imagine a lot of owners wont let someone play unless they hear them live or if you no them.This bar u mentioned sounds like they are stuck up their own arse and getting a response like you got from them only tells you that they are not worth the space anyway.It may be an idea to get to no some Djs around the area that play your kind of vibe.Tell them that you have had trouble getting gigs and that you would be grateful for any help.Maybe filling in for holiday cover or quick notice gigs where u have to turn up at short notice.At least its a start.You should maybe even post some mixes to local radio stations and try and network your name around a bit more.Hand in a mix to a spot(bar) that doesnt normally play house and add a small letter asking them if they would be intrested in a one off gig.Maybe even ask them to consider a one night monthly gig.The old saying tho "when one door closes another one opens" is a good thing to believe in.Whats for you wont go past you!! graemlins/thumbsup.gif smile.gif Good luck

[nev m]

Originally posted by Rob.J:
Fcuk them Efab......

Taking a trip down to London for my B'Day in Nov, for the LOWLIFE party that Ladyboy puts on.

You and Nev fancy it, Gonna ask Martin R as well.

Keep ya Head up...chick

rob

Yeah that sounds good to me mate! You know we'll have a ball! ;)
Also if after all of this nonsense you're still interested in getting your cd to the manager ( i take it we are talking about the 'the bulls head' ), i can most likely pass it on.

[Rob.J]

Nev - EFab.

November 1st - Sat - Lowlife

C'mon........you know you wanna


rob

[nev m]

Originally posted by Rob.J:
Nev - EFab.

November 1st - Sat - Lowlife

C'mon........you know you wanna


rob heeheehee! You're on the net early Rob! :D

[nev m]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by nev m:
[QB] [QUOTE]Originally posted by Rob.J:
[qb] Nev - EFab.

November 1st - Sat - Lowlife

C'mon........you know you wanna


Nov 1st Sounds good to me.

[Insert pseudonym here]

Nev...

Thanks for the endless love and encouragement. Sharing music and thoughts with you... my loving husband has also helped me keep my drive alive. Thanks for nuturing me through my "DJ Blues". BIG HUG, BIG KISS! graemlins/remybussi.gif

Jihad...

Funny you mention inspiration... after my 24 battle with the "NO GIG BLUES" I put on your Throwdown CD from Jan 2003. It made me get back on track with the idea of trying to infuse my personal muse through music. So, thank you for the inspiration... truly and sincerely!!!! With mentors like yourself, keep'n my head up seems a lot easier! Thanks Big Bro!


Everyone...

thank you for your insight, kind words and thoughts. I'm not always down and I never count myself out. I guess in my old age, I'm taking punches a bit harder than I used to... thanks for the kind words. It is only my love for music that is keeping me adequately optimistic at this time. No doubt, I now TRULY AND DEEPLY appreciate the environment (the people, places and musical thangs) I was in while I was in New York City. DHP NYC --- PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK FOR HAVING A SUPERLATIVE GROUP OF PEOPLE.

One Love,
One Music,
One You,
One Me...

~Efab


I guess I gotta "shake the devil off".
(You Baptist folks know what I'm talking 'bout!)

[Insert pseudonym here]

djjihamu... if you are still in cyberspace, hit me via email.

~efab!

[Jolyon]

Awww....love's a wonderful thing!

I hope you pick some gigs up efab x

[Martin Red]

We're living in a "world" where the record box you carrry is more important than the records in the box


Originally posted by jihad muhammad:
give them time True, and yourself also E Fab, DJ'ing can be a waiting game.


Originally posted by jihad muhammad:
dont let that brit vs american stuff affect your drive.I certainly wouldn't say that the fact your American would make any difference to getting work here.

In fact on the DJ thing alone, it should go in your favour as you would be judged as a bit of a novelty, female and American, DJ, there aren't too many of those around these here parts. As you know from your first gig:-
NEW YORK was in larger lettering than E fab.

Also, I learnt a while ago, wherever you are in the world, without £$ - it isn't much fun. My ex lived in NY and didn't enjoy it until she moved to Brooklyn and started earning £60K sterling PA.

[ September 12, 2003, 05:58 AM: Message edited by: Martin Red ]

[Insert pseudonym here]

Thanks for the words of wisdom Martin Red. I hear you and this time, I'm listening with my mind open.

TGIF
~Efab!