civil discussion/discourse...

[BrazenMuse]

why is it absolutely so predictable that people go into name calling and personal attack? I think, and I admit this might be snotty, that it's a lack of a developed vocabulary and a serious lack of manners. Civil discourse should be civil. i can disagree w you without calling you 360 shades of black and 365 kinds of nigga. It's not needed.

[the crackhouse]

i can disagree w you without calling you 360 shades of black and 365 kinds of nigga. It's not needed.

I would'nt care.

Idance

[Phyllis Hyman Cherry]

why is it absolutely so predictable that people go into name calling and personal attack? I think, and I admit this might be snotty, that it's a lack of a developed vocabulary and a serious lack of manners. Civil discourse should be civil. i can disagree w you without calling you 360 shades of black and 365 kinds of nigga. It's not needed.

Having been attacked from every four corners of this messageboard,as well as launching some attacks myself i can tell you i appreciate the ones that just come at me directly.There have been so many instances where people will do the predictable cowardly shit as wait until you get banned to talk shit.They warn you that this can be a very heated place at times in the rules i believe.Of course this is not directed towards you Brazenmuse,because i know you dont get down like that.IF YOU CANT STAND THE HEAT DONT STEP INTO THE KITCHEN.You cant expect to say whatever you feel and then the other person not to say anything.

[LadyA. Acacia]

why is it absolutely so predictable that people go into name calling and personal attack? I think, and I admit this might be snotty, that it's a lack of a developed vocabulary and a serious lack of manners. Civil discourse should be civil. i can disagree w you without calling you 360 shades of black and 365 kinds of nigga. It's not needed.

sometimes...some muthafuckas needa be called muthafuckas.

but me...i dont say shit like that.

[Phyllis Hyman Cherry]

sometimes...some muthafuckas needa be called muthafuckas.

but me...i dont say shit like that.

And thats why you are becoming one of my favorite people on here.It seems with you what you see is what you get.

[Jamie 3:26]

sometimes...some muthafuckas needa be called muthafuckas.

but me...i dont say shit like that.

I likes you!!!:grinyes:

[BHouse]

I give it. I take it, but I also apologize when I am in the wrong.

[KBig]

sometimes...some muthafuckas needa be called muthafuckas.

but me...i dont say shit like that.


*scoots chair next Lady*


yooz a funny muthaphucca.

[Alanda Marquette from DiscoLadyLand]

sometimes threads start off as a civil discussion. But someone, somewhere somehow makes a statement personal. Even if you aren't directing anything to them. Some folk just like drama and don't know how to be civil

That's my take on it.

[Phyllis Hyman Cherry]

why is it absolutely so predictable that people go into name calling and personal attack? I think, and I admit this might be snotty, that it's a lack of a developed vocabulary and a serious lack of manners. Civil discourse should be civil. i can disagree w you without calling you 360 shades of black and 365 kinds of nigga. It's not needed.

But i see your point,it is an enviornment where we sometimes put each other down and it does get nasty for the silliest things.I know for sure i am guilty of participating in it.See the thing braze is why should Dhp be held to a higher standard than other messageboards?I asked myself that question after a conversation with TOT in another thread.Do people post racist stuff sometimes sure,homophobic stuff sure,sexist stuff sure.This messageboard is sunnybrook farms compared to other messageboard's and the chatline though.This mesageboard is heaven compared to the chatine,where people have gotten raped,set-up,there jobs called,CPs sent to their house etc.Everything imaginable,and it aint about age because alot of the people on the chatline are thirty five-plus.

[Jamie 3:26]

I can easily ignore bullshit.It's easier to shut the fuck up,instead of arguing with a fool...especially online.

Then again,sometimes you just gotta cuss a muthafukka out,like Lady A said.

That may be the only shit they understand...is someone actin' a damn fool.

[TAB.]

Compared to the name calling I've seen on other message boards, this is kiddieland. Try going to boards that aren't policed-you might not have the stomach for it.

[Phyllis Hyman Cherry]

Compared to the name calling I've seen on other message boards, this is kiddieland. Try going to boards that aren't policed-you might not have the stomach for it.

You got that right.Go on youtube and you will see some very distateful comments about people just because they have a different opinion of an artist.

Myor said something to me that made me think yesterday,im calling Leonard Remix Roy nuts,but i keep argeing with him.Doesnt that make me nuts.Leonard and i have spoken in private about this situation and have resolved it.He is coming to stay with me awhile when he gets out of Iraq,i want to learn more about that head in the sand move.

[Suspended]

Compared to the name calling I've seen on other message boards, this is kiddieland. Try going to boards that aren't policed-you might not have the stomach for it.

Agree, this board is MAJORLY civil compared to most. I'm horrified by the level of communication on Youtube and that's not even a traditional forum.

But still, I hear ya BrazenMuse. There isn't any need for some of the pettiness.

[Suspended]

i want to learn more about that head in the sand move.

Blow jobs on the beach, what's to learn? Just don't dip it in the sand or you'll have some bleeding gums.

[ProvocativeElement]

why is it absolutely so predictable that people go into name calling and personal attack? I think, and I admit this might be snotty, that it's a lack of a developed vocabulary and a serious lack of manners. Civil discourse should be civil. i can disagree w you without calling you 360 shades of black and 365 kinds of nigga. It's not needed.

people who do this can't seem to separate themselves from the subject matter, so when you diss their opinion, it's like you're dissing them personally, and they mount the counter-attack.

it also can be that they can't argue your reasoning, so attack the person giving the reasoning . . .

finally, some folx don't know how to exchange differing opinions without nastiness - they don't know that it's ok if we don't agree.

[the crackhouse]

What I find more and more interesting is that all the mess we had like one year ago is now taken away by a lot of members redemption, self-reflexion, talks about difference (opinions, lifestyles, country of origin...), and it kinda creates new subjects about how to re-organize the discussions.

We're gonna be a hippy community in less than 6 months, I tell you.

You see... This kind of stuff, you know...

Idance

[the crackhouse]

people who do this can't seem to separate themselves from the subject matter, so when you diss their opinion, it's like you're dissing them personally, and they mount the counter-attack.

it also can be that they can't argue your reasoning, so attack the person giving the reasoning . . .

finally, some folx don't know how to exchange differing opinions without nastiness - they don't know that it's ok if we don't agree.

I find it trendy to "fight" for each and everything in today's society. There are the loosers and there are the winners, do you see what I mean?

Idance

[ProvocativeElement]

Compared to the name calling I've seen on other message boards, this is kiddieland. Try going to boards that aren't policed-you might not have the stomach for it.

DHP is my first and only experience with a messageboard/virtual community.

As much as some o' u mofos git on my last moms mabley nerve, sounds like this is the no doubt the best place I could've found myself

awww, now I'm kinda squishy . . . I lubs all ya'll!

[TAB.]

DHP is my first and only experience with a messageboard/virtual community.

As much as some o' u mofos git on my last moms mabley nerve, sounds like this is the no doubt the best place I could've found myself

awww, now I'm kinda squishy . . . I lubs all ya'll!

Your fellow posters/lurkers have been elsewhere. Why do think they keep coming back to these much friendlier confines? LOL

[racerx]

Brazenmuse you are correct in your statement, "a lack of a developed vocabulary and a serious lack of manners." As simple as this may sound, when you read many of the posts on this board that have been started in earnest, for whatever reason, civility be damned and let the name calling begin. It makes me wonder how many of my fellow peers on this board maintain conversations at the workplace without ending up speaking to the HR rep.

[BrazenMuse]

sometimes...some muthafuckas needa be called muthafuckas.

but me...i dont say shit like that.

i hear u and I enjoy reading your posts.
I can still get u to understand how big a muthafucka u are without being petty and without being absolutely rude. It lets me focus on the actual meat of the dispute and the issues without being distracted...

[BrazenMuse]

But i see your point,it is an enviornment where we sometimes put each other down and it does get nasty for the silliest things.I know for sure i am guilty of participating in it.See the thing braze is why should Dhp be held to a higher standard than other messageboards?I asked myself that question after a conversation with TOT in another thread.Do people post racist stuff sometimes sure,homophobic stuff sure,sexist stuff sure.This messageboard is sunnybrook farms compared to other messageboard's and the chatline though.This mesageboard is heaven compared to the chatine,where people have gotten raped,set-up,there jobs called,CPs sent to their house etc.Everything imaginable,and it aint about age because alot of the people on the chatline are thirty five-plus.
i guess I'm a bit of a neophyte, I don't frequent many other boards really...mostly bc i have seen/heard too much stuff I can't see myself dealing with. DHP feels like a kind of "friends" space - where errbody knows yo name...ya dig? I've made friends and had a great deal of fun here, learned stuff and all...

I just think that there are some things one can turn ones other cheek to. And it really can be fun to refuse to engage the ones foaming at the mouth...it's like holding a short kid arms length away when all he really wants is to grapple with you and he can't reach, just keeps swinging and fuming, know what I mean? I'm certainly not claiming that I'm not guilty of it, but I'm often reluctant and it really depends on how the person brings it to me. DHP, for me, is ultimately about folks who happen to share a taste in music and find that they share other interests as well...it's cyberspace as public discursive sphere and that is wonder-full. Sharing laughs and tunes and opinions...arguing over things....it can be quite fun, no?

[BrazenMuse]

What I find more and more interesting is that all the mess we had like one year ago is now taken away by a lot of members redemption, self-reflexion, talks about difference (opinions, lifestyles, country of origin...), and it kinda creates new subjects about how to re-organize the discussions.

We're gonna be a hippy community in less than 6 months, I tell you.

You see... This kind of stuff, you know...

Idance we gonna do house remix of kumbayaah? The combative element of the zeitgeist is really a problem and I think you are right, people fight bc they aren't reflective...they don't get it...!!

[BrazenMuse]

Brazenmuse you are correct in your statement, "a lack of a developed vocabulary and a serious lack of manners." As simple as this may sound, when you read many of the posts on this board that have been started in earnest, for whatever reason, civility be damned and let the name calling begin. It makes me wonder how many of my fellow peers on this board maintain conversations at the workplace without ending up speaking to the HR rep.
I wonder about this myself...

[Tony Mundaca]

much of this is the fault of the moderators who allow certain members to get away with breaking the rules...

for instance. the rules clearly state....



2.) Please refrain from calling another board member or a group of members insulting names. This guideline applies to the personal messages (PMs) as well.

you don't say.....:conf06:

4.) Please refrain from making ethnic, racial, sexist, homophobic or religious slurs. This includes using biblical references to preach hate or condemnation. Please refrain from making racist or bigoted comments.

this one depends on whose boot one happens to be licking at any given time.... forget about this one if your a christian around here.:conf44:

6.) Please refrain from airing your personal disagreements or relationship drama on the board. If you have beef with another member, please work it out offline.

my phone number is listed in my profile if anyone wants to discuss anything.... the only person i've spoken to here is ace mungin, rodney perkins, ramsir mantree, leonard remix rroy, phyllis hyman cherry, and dj dub, and a few others at best....

9.) Please respect a member's right to have a serious discussion by not hijacking a thread with jokes and funny pictures. Members have the right to moderate (keep the thread on subject) their threads. The closing of threads is subject to the DHP posting guidelines. Once people start posting on your thread they have the right to continue the discussion.

why even have this rule, instead of having had 2 rule #5's the last time this list was amended (the last time i was banned) this one could have been replaced by the 2nd rule #5...

10.) Topics other than house are welcome. Please refrain from flooding the board with topics. Flooding is defined as posting\bumping more than five posts on the main board at a given time. If the posts are party/mix announcements see rule #7. Discussions on music, religion, politics and race can get heated so keep the dialog going by not resorting to items #1 - #2 above. Agree to disagree .

it would be great to "agree to disagree" wouldn't that be grand? not around here.... when people disagree they often resort to personal attacks, and buffoonery when their precious world view is in the process of being dismantled. moderator bias plays a big role on this one.

11.) The mission of this web site and message board is to honor and respect those who have made and are making great contributions to this scene. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Giving your opinion about what you don't like is welcome. Please keep your criticisms and opinions respectful.

respectful..... hmmmmmm didn't aretha sing about this?

18.) The last rule: The administrators best judgment is the final call. Translation: The Moderators can do whatever they want. If they want to delete a post, they can. If they want to lock a topic, they can.

the last rule is the only rule.... it's sort of like a soft fascism.

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______

around here slapstick comedy, and personal attacks are encouraged....

i think it's for shock value.

it's usually the same people.

i think that it gets tired after a couple of minutes.

i also think it gets out of hand,, and causes some people to get offended.

too much demonizing of members, and manufactured enemy creation to maintain civil dialog...

which is ironic cause the page is called deep, and as long as i've been in house music this sort of banter, although tolerated, has always been the exception, and not the rule.

one thing that helps is using the ignore button on people who are not fair, firm, and friendly.

membership numbers, and thread views/posts may be up, but i would be more concerned with quality, as opposed to quantity.

[Martin Red]

why is it absolutely so predictable that people go into name calling and personal attack? I think, and I admit this might be snotty, that it's a lack of a developed vocabulary and a serious lack of manners. Civil discourse should be civil. i can disagree w you without calling you 360 shades of black and 365 kinds of nigga. It's not needed.

When muthafuckers starts calling muthafucka's muthafuckas some mother fuckers need to fuck some motherphuckas

[Stan747]

Ok, ok, Brazen...I've been guilty of what you speak of. I'll be staight up and honest with you. I read a healthy amount of threads and post where name calling and insults seemed to be the norm, so I basically took the "oh what the hell" attitude and joined the party. Braze, you know everyone's not the same when it comes to taking insults. Some will just call you a name or insult you just to start some dumb ass 8th grade shit. When you call that person a name in return, then that's when you become a villan. It's called cause and effect! Some members on this board can be just as silly as they can be intellectual. Is that good or bad? Is it right or wrong? Who is to say.

[gman]

Tony, you of course are looking for blame. Why did you leave out the first part of the guidelines which CLEARLY states?:

*** Considering the real-time nature of this message board and the amount of traffic, it is impossible for the admins to read or review all the messages posted for compliance to these rules. It is also impossible to insure that these rules get applied fairly in all the conflicts that occur between members. This board is not monitored 24X7. Swim at your own risk. These forums are self-policing. Members usually handle people that cross the line before DHP staff ever know of it. However, if you feel someone is violating the forum rules please email us and we'll look into it.

Locking of threads, warnings from administrators and banning of members are all options, but we try to not use them in the hopes our community can be adults in their discussions. We realize that even families fight sometimes. The good part is most families work out their problems and are stronger for it. Let's keep striving for that as well.

Please help us from having to use the above mentioned options. Think twice. Be respectful. Don't flame or gun sling or be reckless with your words. Don't hit that 'Reply' button so quickly. Re-read your posts. In short, stop reverting to your 12-year old pre-teen days where last word wins :-)

[Stan747]

I can easily ignore bullshit.It's easier to shut the fuck up,instead of arguing with a fool...especially online.

Then again,sometimes you just gotta cuss a muthafukka out,like Lady A said.

That may be the only shit they understand...is someone actin' a damn fool.



Jamie, what don't you like about Bill Clinton?

"dumbass blacks thinking he's a black man"

This example may may not be exactly what Brazen's talking about, but did you really think that comment was necessary?

Is it really Bill's fault?

[BrazenMuse]

It's not like I'm perfect...I get tempted to twist some folx around here too...but then the point of the topic usually gets lost...and I tend to do the smarty-pants version of insulting people...it's sooooo much more fun and creative...

but there are threads where the other kind of discussion makes sense...the jokin' and teasing and all that. And I gotta admit, some folks really need to get clowned (not namin' any names...bc I'm not givin' them any props either :biggrin:) ... I just wonder about it sometimes...if the thread starts as a civil discussion, then why bring the personal attacks? Is it truly necessary? Is there some subtle strategy? Doubt it.

[Stan747]

It's not like I'm perfect...I get tempted to twist some folx around here too...but then the point of the topic usually gets lost...and I tend to do the smarty-pants version of insulting people...it's sooooo much more fun and creative...

but there are threads where the other kind of discussion makes sense...the jokin' and teasing and all that. And I gotta admit, some folks really need to get clowned (not namin' any names...bc I'm not givin' them any props either :biggrin:) ... I just wonder about it sometimes...if the thread starts as a civil discussion, then why bring the personal attacks? Is it truly necessary? Is there some subtle strategy? Doubt it.


Braze,

Why not name names? How else will you get to the bottom of this? Is it because you don't want to offend a friend? When you see this happening you should reply to the thread to let the offenders know how you feel. I feel it would make a world of difference, because you're known on this board for your intellect, good communication skills, and fun nature. Not many would see you doing this as an attack, but constructive criticism.

[S&S]

some responders are just simply "Loud, Crude & Brash" - learn to ignore them and keep the threads moving along

[panklady]

I likes you!!!:grinyes:

QOTD

[BrazenMuse]

Braze,

Why not name names? How else will you get to the bottom of this? Is it because you don't want to offend a friend? When you see this happening you should reply to the thread to let the offenders know how you feel. I feel it would make a world of difference, because you're known on this board for your intellect, good communication skills, and fun nature. Not many would see you doing this as an attack, but constructive criticism.

Because I don't see any need for the naming. What I see is a need for folks to check themselves, not for me to check them. I really don't "need" to respond. I appreciate that you believe that my 2 cents might make a difference, but if I name names, then I run the risk of starting pretty much exactly what I'd like to see less of. Those of whom I speak know who they are and so do any attentive readers on the board...I actually DO step in some rare times...usually by PM...because I don't want to start the public foolishness.

Maybe I had too much of a WASP upbringing? Maybe. Then too: I have a pretty strong internal censor because I'm aware that this is a public board and I never want an employer to trace anything affiliated with me back to certain kinds of things. I am who and what I am because I've spent a lifetime building and growing, learning and exploring. Risk it because of something like that? HAH!!! Not th' kid!

Notice, for instance, that I left certain negative comments in this thread alone. And I don't mean the ones about how sometimes a spade needs to be called a muthaphuckkin' spade either. In this thread, I have that option.
Others have stepped up, as is their right, and handled what needed to be handled.

But I love talkin' with u, Stan. Hope my response makes sense to ya.

[BrazenMuse]

Nota Bene:

Ignorance is Bliss......


There's an awful lotta happy mutha'fuckas out there!!! Trust.

:grinyes:

[Stan747]

Because I don't see any need for the naming. What I see is a need for folks to check themselves, not for me to check them. I really don't "need" to respond. I appreciate that you believe that my 2 cents might make a difference, but if I name names, then I run the risk of starting pretty much exactly what I'd like to see less of. Those of whom I speak know who they are and so do any attentive readers on the board...I actually DO step in some rare times...usually by PM...because I don't want to start the public foolishness.

Maybe I had too much of a WASP upbringing? Maybe. Then too: I have a pretty strong internal censor because I'm aware that this is a public board and I never want an employer to trace anything affiliated with me back to certain kinds of things. I am who and what I am because I've spent a lifetime building and growing, learning and exploring. Risk it because of something like that? HAH!!! Not th' kid!

Notice, for instance, that I left certain negative comments in this thread alone. And I don't mean the ones about how sometimes a spade needs to be called a muthaphuckkin' spade either. In this thread, I have that option.
Others have stepped up, as is their right, and handled what needed to be handled.

But I love talkin' with u, Stan. Hope my response makes sense to ya.



It makes sense Brazen, what you said. I liked the topic too Human interaction! Thanks for the kind words.

[BrazenMuse]

people who do this can't seem to separate themselves from the subject matter, so when you diss their opinion, it's like you're dissing them personally, and they mount the counter-attack.

it also can be that they can't argue your reasoning, so attack the person giving the reasoning . . .

finally, some folx don't know how to exchange differing opinions without nastiness - they don't know that it's ok if we don't agree.

:respent:

[Moksha]

much of this is the fault of the moderators who allow certain members to get away with breaking the rules...


Maybe you should go find another messageboard - one where moderators perform to your standards.

[the crackhouse]

"Loud, Crude & Brash"

Great name from some boy band, need to call my promoter!

Idance