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View Full Version : She bit into it again!!!!



larry rauson
02-13-2008, 07:34 PM
I cooked a wonderful tender rump roast for dinner last night. I smoked it outside over cherry and plum wood, then roasted it in a slow oven, basting frequently with a red wine, honey and balsamic reduction. My vegetable was fresh asparagus with butter and orange zest. To top everything off, I had a pan of portobellos and onions going with rosemary, ginger and evoo. I had planned to eat until I had an orgasm, or heart attack, which ever came first. Then the cell rang. My presence in the office had been requested early the next morning. As I'm old now and need my rest, there was no time for a big heavy meal. So I sliced some of that beautiful willing roast, poured some of that heavenly sauce on it and put it in a container. I put some of the asparagus in a ziplock bag, and of course, I did not forget the mushrooms and onions. My new plan was to eat a lunch until I had an orgasm or heart attack, which ever came first. On the way to the office the next morning, I stopped at the local bakery and got four slices of the most delectable Italian bread I'd ever seen. To skip to the chase, lunch time comes. I heat up my roast and vegetables in the micro, and make a sandwich, that even now, is making me cry and reminisce about the love that sandwich and I could have made.It would have been life affirming..
Now I've made this mistake before with a beautiful, juicy, not greasy, pastrami sandwich, with that spicy brown mustard, sweet coleslaw, and a pickle. The perfume of the pastrami drifted into my bosses office, and when I dipped out to get an orange soda, she tipped into my office and took a bite out of my hot, juicy, pastrami sandwich. Not just any bite, but a cartoon bite, perfectly round with teeth marks and everything. Needless to say I was morally outraged.
Until today I thought our boundary issues were settled. But, when I dipped out to get a grape soda, the perfume of the balsamic, the ginger, the rosemary, the orange, drifted into her office. It overwhelmed her reserve and she tipped into my office and took a bite of my dripping hot, smoked rump roast and mushroom sandwich. Not a regular bite, but a cartoon bite, perfectly round, wif teef marks and everything else.
Again I was morally outraged. But I refused to be denied my constitutional right to an orgasm or heart attack two days in a row. I gave her the half she'd bitten, and went about my business. I'll never take another beautiful sexy sandwich to work again.

ps. Fresh asparagus with evoo and orange zest should be eaten when prepared.

lpr

MercezSoul
02-13-2008, 08:46 PM
This lady has got issues if she keeps on going after your food. What is wrong with her?!?

Tell ya what....why don't you fix a "special" meal again, but this time make sure to include a nice dusting of laxatives (crushed of course). Maybe that will help her stop takin bites of other peoples food and leaving her nasty saliva all over it.

Damn, for all you know she probably licked the whole top of the bun before she put the sandwich down.....

TAD
02-13-2008, 09:03 PM
:lach:you have got to be the funniest man on dhp.

mhd
02-13-2008, 09:27 PM
:lach:you have got to be the funniest man on dhp.

i got wood

TAD
02-13-2008, 09:33 PM
i got wood

i'm in the kitchen now making a sammich lol!!

mhd
02-13-2008, 09:54 PM
i'm in the kitchen now making a sammich lol!!

i'm having a heart attack!

Armento
02-13-2008, 09:58 PM
wow! man you could have made serious dough during the writers' strike.

TAD
02-13-2008, 10:00 PM
i'm having a heart attack!

i'm sweating profusely!!

KBig
02-13-2008, 10:48 PM
omg Larry ...


:rofl5: this whole thread is hilarious.

LadyA. Acacia
02-14-2008, 01:44 AM
i have a coworker...heffer be all up in my food. touchin shit with her sticky cootchie fingers. and when she offer me shit whe be breakin it off with her hands rather than a knife.. shit is illness.