The Belt or Punishment which one is best

[OneMasterMixer]

OK So some think it is best to beat ya kids (I ain't rattin no one out to child services) others think punishment is the answer.

I would really like to hear your thoughts. As much as punishment sounds like a great idea... I got my ass beat (let me make this clear, i am not talking about abuse beatings with Ironing boards or cords or baseball bats or car grills..nothing like that..just "the belt") and I have to admit it does put the fear of God up in Ya. I have had punishment and I just figured a way to make it entertaining. Like the old 'go to your room and don't go outside for 2 weeks" That one is the reason for me becoming a DJ in the first place.

My son is now 7 and getting to that point of challenge.

Don't worry, I am making my own decisions here, but just want to hear whatcha Thank bout it

(yeah I said Thank bout it)

[dj-chefron]

You know punishment taking away privileges hurt more in the long run but sometimes my kids push or do something that is so outrageous that I am whuppin me some ass and that is all need to be said :rofl5:

[D J 1 3 8]

http://firstrung.co.uk/dbimgs/iStock_can%20of%20worms.jpg

[Armento]

suddenly I want to go fishing

[dj c-los]

gotta use that belt in certain situations. not for every little thing.

[OneMasterMixer]

http://firstrung.co.uk/dbimgs/iStock_can%20of%20worms.jpg

Dammit thats not it.

[mjoseph]

beating them now will lead to mental health costs for damaged sustained in the foreseeable future. factor in the possibility of drug abuse and the possible assault charge - and there you have your answer

funny, in my day the teachers would JOIN my parents in beating my ass (with parental permission of course).

[bassment groove]

I used to get a good belting every now and then as a kid, and for the most part I deserved it and I heeded the lesson. That said, I have not and hope never to lift my hands to my own son.

[islandlover]

gotta use that belt in certain situations. not for every little thing.

I don't have kids but

I agree.

[panklady]

I heard a wise woman say "if I don't beat them now...then they will beat you later".

I am a hands-on chick. See, we played truth & consequence/hide the belt as children...(yes we actually played outside & with each other--not computers). So, naturally, our parents got down like Zorro when it was deemed appropriate.

Major infractions that will get you effed up (ie the belt/cord)
Lying, cheating, stealing, rude to adults

Minor infractions best dealt with by pushiment.
Mean to siblings/other kids, bad grades, disrespect

Remember minor league infractions can be treated on the major league level depending on the severity.

As a survivor of pushiment, spankings & even a good beating or two...I have complete self-control, good sense of self, healthy respect for others lives & property.

Cast my vote for a good yoking. LOL

[AD]

I used to get a good belting every now and then as a kid, and for the most part I deserved it and I heeded the lesson. That said, I have not and hope never to lift my hands to my own son.

i agree. i got the belt but i know i deserved it. i wouldn't do that if i had kids, though. hopefully, my words will be tough enough.

[MadMixer]

9 pages, 3 bannings, 4 public cursings, and 5 STFU's

And awaaaaaaaaaay we go

[TAC]

If you find yourself beating your kids, ponder that perhaps it's you that is out of control....

[Chuck P]

I've seen "good" parents get locked up for spanking not beating their kids, the day of the good ass whoopin is just about over......

If a teacher sees a mark, scar, bruise, scratch, welt on a child, he/she has to notify the police, no questions asked......

If that was around back then, my mother would have been in prison a long time ago....

[AD]

9 pages, 3 bannings, 4 public cursings, and 5 STFU's

And awaaaaaaaaaay we go

and a partridge in a pear tree.

[Long Island Head]

I got a 7yr old also, and I spank dat ass in a minute.

[dj-chefron]

If you find yourself beating your kids, ponder that perhaps it's you that is out of control.... You sir I would guess have no children.I use to say I would never hit my children but one thing I have learn is they are devious and would push all buttons just to see how far they can go.So sometimes they have to be reminded that there are consequences to ones actions and the way to remind them is a nice leather belt on that backside.

[panklady]

If you find yourself beating your kids, ponder that perhaps it's you that is out of control....

*pulling TAC over my knee :spank2:*

Let me get back up on my :soapbox:

:banghead: Hard Head -->Starts Out

:jail: -->Ends Up if the behavior isn't corrected early enough

My parents were BEHAVIORISTS...dayum that talk-therapy...where the parents end up cryin' & frustrated.

Folk tend to think that spanking & beatings are the same. Although they both hurt...it's not the same. Now, for the sake of conversation & guilting our parents & bragging to friends we call them beatings...and don't differentiate.

[panklady]

I've seen "good" parents get locked up for spanking not beating their kids, the day of the good ass whoopin is just about over......

If a teacher sees a mark, scar, bruise, scratch, welt on a child, he/she has to notify the police, no questions asked......

If that was around back then, my mother would have been in prison a long time ago....

Chuck, your mom & mine would have been in the same cell...and darin' the warden 'n nem to say something. LOL

[bassment groove]

Chuck, your mom & mine would have been in the same cell...and darin' the warden 'n nem to say something. LOL

there's a good few teachers would have been in jail too, some of them seemed to enjoy inflicting pain

[DJ Timmy Richardson]

You sir I would guess have no children.I use to say I would never hit my children but one thing I have learn is they are devious and would push all buttons just to see how far they can go.So sometimes they have to be reminded that there are consequences to ones actions and the way to remind them is a nice leather belt on that backside.

That's the bad thing about guessing

[traj]

beatings when they are young. as they get older grounding/punishment/priveleges taking away becomes more effective

[vic]

If you find yourself beating your kids, ponder that perhaps it's you that is out of control....

Funny. but most of the cats I know that were not spanked/ beaten/ fucked up/ yoked up/ stomped a mudhole in by their parents, turned put to be messed up folks anyway.

No, what is out of control is all the reasoning and time-out; created by a group of punk-ass psycho therapists, and liberal mofos that have no problem with their children callin them by their first name, or using harsh language at their whim. What is out of control is the encouragement that the mother is all that is needed in the lives of the children; the father just donates the sperm, and keeps on movin.

To not be able to discipline your child is benign neglect at a more basic level; and as a result, we have a society of gerbils as parents and a society of hamsters as children.

[TAC]

If you find yourself beating your kids, ponder that perhaps it's you that is out of control....


Funny. but most of the cats I know that were not spanked/ beaten/ fucked up/ yoked up/ stomped a mudhole in by their parents, turned put to be messed up folks anyway.

No, what is out of control is all the reasoning and time-out; created by a group of punk-ass psycho therapists, and liberal mofos that have no problem with their children callin them by their first name, or using harsh language at their whim. What is out of control is the encouragement that the mother is all that is needed in the lives of the children; the father just donates the sperm, and keeps on movin.

I didn't just donate my sperm and move on. With time, have we not learned that children need both their parents? As a result, I do not need to spank, beat or otherwise my children.



To not be able to discipline your child is benign neglect at a more basic level; and as a result, we have a society of gerbils as parents and a society of hamsters as children.

Guess you haven't heard that beating/spanking your children affects their self esteem.

All I am saying is, "ask yourself how you would feel if someone beat your a**". Now transfer that to your child.

[Discogoddess]

I always marvel when folk say "I turned out just fine" or "I deserved to get spanked/whooped/beat" or whatever. Ummm, ok.

Small people don't deserve to be hit by big people. And, there are too many examples of folk NOT turning out 'just fine', though I guess they think that low self-esteem, anger, etc. are just the normal byproducts of life.

There are other ways to properly train and discipline children.

[upliftdisco365]

I guess you can say stop 11 times if you have the patience. what happens when your child decides, you know what, I was bad, but I don't want to sit in tthe corner. I'm not going to sit in the corner.

Talking and reason are fine to a point, but trust, your kids are going to push the boundaries as far as then can at nearly every stage of their developement. I think that at some point, their reasoning should end with, now, I know imma get my ass beat for this. That very first hellified ass-whuppin' that you delivered now servers as a shining reminder; a paradigm for consequence. The borderline, if you will... They may think twice before taking their idea across the border into ass-whuppin-ville.

[Discogoddess]

I guess you can say stop 11 times if you have the patience. what happens when your child decides, you know what, I was bad, but I don't want to sit in tthe corner. I'm not going to sit in the corner.

Talking and reason are fine to a point, but trust, your kids are going to push the boundaries as far as then can at nearly every stage of their developement. I think that at some point, their reasoning should end with, now, I know imma get my ass beat for this. That very first hellified ass-whuppin' that you delivered now servers as a shining reminder; a paradigm for consequence. The borderline, if you will... They may think twice before taking their idea across the border into ass-whuppin-ville.

So, what happens when the kid decides that the hellified ass whuppin isn't all that and decides to do whatever anyway? Put an eye out? Lock them in the basement in a cage?

Slippery, slippery slope.

Either you can effectively discipline your kid (and doing the same thing 11 times with no result, whether it's saying "no" or beating your kid down, isn't effective), or you can't. If it's the latter, maybe, as TAC suggested, it's not the kid that's out of control. I'm not too shamed to take my ass to parenting class if need be. Maybe it's time to shift the parenting paradigm.

[Moksha]

screw the belt, you liberal, parenting-book reading pussies. you should take off those little fuckers' fingers each time they fuck up. trust me, they'll learn real quick how to behave (and type with 9 fingers).

[OneMasterMixer]

Y'all are making so proud with these great answers. Keep em comin.

[MYOR]

A spanking works for some and for some not...

Some it makes them more rebellious.. others will fear another spanking..

[OneMasterMixer]

screw the belt, you liberal, parenting-book reading pussies. you should take off those little fuckers' fingers each time they fuck up. trust me, they'll learn real quick how to behave (and type with 9 fingers).

OK BUT U.......MOKSHA YOU KNOW YOU GOT SICK ISSUES..LOL

:stupid:.

[Moksha]

OK BUT U.......MOKSHA YOU KNOW YOU GOT SICK ISSUES..LOL

:stupid:.

check the archives for my thoughts on corporal punishment.

[ProvocativeElement]

There is no cookie cutter answer to this question. Some children respond well to words, some better to action.

I can count on one hand (with plenty of fingers left over) how many whoopins I got coming up. But then, I was sensitive - you could speak to me harshly and I'd tear up.

Not being the recipient of that type of punishment, it pains me to tap my daughter on the thigh - it really does. I've found that talking to her gets a better response, but I've also found at 4 years old that when she gets caught doing something she knows she shouldn't the first thing she says is

"Mommy - I'm so, so, soooo sorry"

or when I go to question her, before she'll answer, she'll ask

"Is this gonna be a problem?"
(that's because when she's pushing her boundries, I tell her that she's asking for problems)

I can totally see how excessive force with a child could damage them. I can even see excessive threatening to beat an ass would affect a person -

that being said - there is no way I'ma let my child take disrespectful behavioral/verbal liberties with me. believe me, I wrestle with this (literally) everyday. having a strong willed child who has a very firm grasp on expression, I have to stop myself from snatching a knot in her a** whenever she uses a tone that I find unacceptable (this heifer gets beside herself and has the nerve to shout at most anyone! Anyone except Daddy - sooooo not fair.)

Better that she learn now what won't fly's , than for her to go flying out the window at 13 . . .

all things in moderation and within reason (my talking to spanking ratio is about 98:2)

[chldfknungrnd764]

screw the belt, you liberal, parenting-book reading pussies. you should take off those little fuckers' fingers each time they fuck up. trust me, they'll learn real quick how to behave (and type with 9 fingers).

I don't agree with your methods.

I do agree that there's a "twinkie" approach to raising kids today.

What good is a parenting class anyway, someone who is book savy is gonna tell me how to effectively raise my child?

Somewhere some of us as parents got soft, now we're trying to get things back on course.:shudder:

Now I understand all those comments that my mother made about not being born in these times, we created this mess.

[MYOR]

I've always said there is a fine line btwn spanking and beating...



Right now I'm about to go spank my child cuz he is crying for no reason j/king

[vic]

I didn't just donate my sperm and move on. With time, have we not learned that children need both their parents? As a result, I do not need to spank, beat or otherwise my children.




Guess you haven't heard that beating/spanking your children affects their self esteem.

All I am saying is, "ask yourself how you would feel if someone beat your a**". Now transfer that to your child.

We'll just have to agree to disagree.

[mhd]

so much for diplomatic solutions

[TAB.]

While I don't spank my 2 1/2 year old with a belt, I will, on ocassion, rap his knuckles, or pull his ear, to get him immediately stop unruly behavior. actually, I hardly need to go thru with it, If I make a motion that I'm headed for his ear, or fingers, he usually, stops misbehaving. Other times, I realize, other methods are required.

Tonight, he thru the 'Mother of all', tanturms, because we dared to wake him from his nap. To stop him from being extremely, disruptive, I took him to a room in the basement, depriving him of the rest of the House. He thru a bigger tantrum, and I told him, he wasn't allowed to leave the room, until he defused. It took about 30 minutes, but it worked.

(IMO)It depends on the issue and the individual.

[Terry James]

balance: discussion, punishment and whoop azz...everybody don't respond to that same treatment. Cause and effect is tool but is also reality (spankee must know right from wrong though).

[dj c-los]

If you find yourself beating your kids, ponder that perhaps it's you that is out of control....

let some sh!t happen where you ahve a 11 year old daughter that decided to skip school with two boys. i can guarantee that you WON'T BE "oh honey, come here sweetie. sweetie bumb dont skip school."
you'll be whippn ass and taking names.

[AD]

If you find yourself beating your kids, ponder that perhaps it's you that is out of control....


wise words.

[OneMasterMixer]

I agree with most points (well except the cutting off fingers thing). Here is my turn on it.

Our society has changed drastically. We have come to a point where we have to second guess if it is OK to beat our kids asses. We worry that our children will be taken from us. If we do it in public, someone may call the police and put us up on charges of child endangerment. When many of us were growing up we got our asses beat at school by the teacher, on the way home (even by a neighbor was ok) and when you got home, then the punishment would kick in after the last ass beating. We want to handle our kids in a different way so to speak to not make the same mistakes our parents or guardians did. I present this....If you were not tortured as some of these overboard parents are doing which I agree that ACS should get their shit together, then what is the big whoop about discipline of your child.

My kid barely gets out of line, when he does on occasion, I spank his ass. Yeah I said it and fuck em if ACS doesn't like it. I don't torture my kid, endanger his welfare, mess up his psyche or anything else you could think of. I teach him there is a right and a wrong sort of like a Pavlov theory of "classical conditioning" except he aint a dog. He knows "if I do this, this will happen" Problem is many kids don't have this in their lives for reasons or other. Parent doesn't care, decides to be liberal and negotiate, no fear of "God" and many other reasons. I say beat your kid but not senseless and those who know the fear of God I am sure will agree

Nuff said on my part

:wink:

[Big Ken]

OK So some think it is best to beat ya kids (I ain't rattin no one out to child services) others think punishment is the answer.

I would really like to hear your thoughts. As much as punishment sounds like a great idea... I got my ass beat (let me make this clear, i am not talking about abuse beatings with Ironing boards or cords or baseball bats or car grills..nothing like that..just "the belt") and I have to admit it does put the fear of God up in Ya. I have had punishment and I just figured a way to make it entertaining. Like the old 'go to your room and don't go outside for 2 weeks" That one is the reason for me becoming a DJ in the first place.

My son is now 7 and getting to that point of challenge.

Don't worry, I am making my own decisions here, but just want to hear whatcha Thank bout it

(yeah I said Thank bout it)
It depends on the situation. Sometimes a good ass whoopin is the answer. Sometimes the action may not deserve a whoopin, and punishment may be more effective.

[darrow]

Why do the choices have to be belt or punishment? How are these two even different?

[Martin Red]

http://www.abcactionnews.com/media/news/5/7/c/57c6196c-9afa-4328-9dd2-0f92b71c2ade/Story.jpg

[TAB.]

One funny TV moment was when Jane Pauley interviewed Bill Cosby(America's Dad) and he talked about his method or child rearing with his son, Ennis. Bill talked about 'whuppin' Ennis, and explaining to His son, right and Wrong. Jane's jaw, about hit the floor. The look of disbelief, on her face, the notion that The Jello Pudding Man, beats his kids. But we all know Ennis turned out to be a fine young man.

The guy that took his life? His Child-rearing? who knows. That's another thread.

[fred da warrior]

One funny TV moment was when Jane Pauley interviewed Bill Cosby(America's Dad) and he talked about his method or child rearing with his son, Ennis. Bill talked about 'whuppin' Ennis, and explaining to His son, right and Wrong. Jane's jaw, about hit the floor. The look of disbelief, on her face, the notion that The Jello Pudding Man, beats his kids. But we all know Ennis turned out to be a fine young man.

The guy that took his life? His Child-rearing? who knows. That's another thread.


I seem to recall that Ennis had a few problems of his own.......

[Pang]

Both.

[TAD]

Why do the choices have to be belt or punishment? How are these two even different?
that's exactly what i was thinking.

[OneMasterMixer]

that's exactly what i was thinking.

One is physical and the other mental.. What is not to get?

[panklady]

It depends on the situation. Sometimes a good ass whoopin is the answer. Sometimes the action may not deserve a whoopin, and punishment may be more effective.

Ken, how do y'all 'carry it' with the triplets? That is, if you don't mind sharing.

[Martin Red]

My dad used a switch (that's what he called it anyway) , it was a young branch/ shoot growing out the base of the tree, thing was like a whip, and always available, when you saw him marching off up the garden, time to leg it. I even tried snapping them all off, but the buggers grew back in no time, or he would find another tree.

[TAD]

One is physical abuse and the other mental abuse.. What is not to get?


Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive,
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves,
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
But do not despair ...
If a child lives with tolerance, they learn to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If a child lives with praise, they learn to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, they live with justice.
If a child lives with security, they live to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, they learn to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship.
they learn to find love in the world.

— Dorothy Law Nolte





Let Me Be A Child

Let me know when I make you proud. And Help me to have
pride in my own accomplishments. Let me earn your trust. Then
trust me. I won't let you down. Let me try my wings. If I fail,
let me know it's OK. And encourage me to try again. Let me know
you love me. With a hug. Or a pat on the back, or when I need it,
with a firm but gentle "no." Let me be. Let me change Let me
grow. Let me tell you when I'm feeling bad... or angry… Even at
you. And let me know that even on my worst days, you still like
me. Let me dream. Share my joy when my dreams come true.
Share my tears when they don't. Let me feel secure in my home.
Help me realize that love is always there … that I can depend on
you no matter what. Let me run … let me laugh … let me play.
And most of all, let me be a child!

—Anonymous










Love Me For Me

Dear Mom and Dad,

My hands are little --

I don't mean to spill my milk,

My legs are short --

Please - slow down so I can keep up with you,

When I touch something bright and shiny,

Please don't slap my hands.

Please look at me when I talk to you.

I just need to know you're listening.

Let me make mistakes without feeling stupid --

My feelings are delicate.

Please don't expect the bed I made to be perfect --

Just Love me for trying.

Remember, I am a child -- not an adult.

Sometimes I don't understand the things you say.

Please just love me for being me,

Not for the things I can do.

I love you mom and dad. You're all I have.

- Unknown






http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/images/whichousedotheylivein.JPG








Unconditional Love

Several years ago, a man punished his 5-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her father the next morning and said, "this is for you, Daddy."

The father was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared even more when he found the box was empty. He spoke to her in a very harsh manner. "Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package?" The
little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses into it until it was full." The father was crushed. He fell on his knees and put his arms around his little girl, and he begged her to forgive him for his unnecessary anger.

A short time later, the child was killed in an accident. It’s been said that her father kept that gold box by his bed for all the years of his life. And whenever he was discouraged or faced difficult problems he would open the box and take out the imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us as human beings have been given a golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, family, friends and God. There is no more precious gift anyone could hold.
— Unknown

http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/inspirational.php

[darrow]

One is physical and the other mental.. What is not to get?

The belt is a method of punishment. It's not different than punishment.

[OneMasterMixer]

I always marvel when folk say "I turned out just fine" or "I deserved to get spanked/whooped/beat" or whatever. Ummm, ok.

Small people don't deserve to be hit by big people. And, there are too many examples of folk NOT turning out 'just fine', though I guess they think that low self-esteem, anger, etc. are just the normal byproducts of life.

There are other ways to properly train and discipline children.

Ok I have to ask..Do you have children?

[jimmymack-2000]

Unconditional Love

Several years ago, a man punished his 5-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her father the next morning and said, "this is for you, Daddy."

The father was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared even more when he found the box was empty. He spoke to her in a very harsh manner. "Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package?" The
little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses into it until it was full." The father was crushed. He fell on his knees and put his arms around his little girl, and he begged her to forgive him for his unnecessary anger.

A short time later, the child was killed in an accident. It’s been said that her father kept that gold box by his bed for all the years of his life. And whenever he was discouraged or faced difficult problems he would open the box and take out the imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us as human beings have been given a golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, family, friends and God. There is no more precious gift anyone could hold.
— Unknown

http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/inspirational.php\


As schmaltzy as this story is, I've had a few instances where my daughter has done something similar and I've gotten pissed, only for her to tell me wide-eyed "But daddy, I wanted to make you something".

The shame and sadness I felt afterwards taught me a valuable lesson about keeping cool and seeing things from her perspective.

[OneMasterMixer]

The belt is a method of punishment. It's not different than punishment.

I concur..Question is which form of punishment actually works best for you as a parent.

[Rasmir Mantree]

I'm old school "Whip Dat Ass".Kept me out of trouble and gave my father something to do with me.

[MadMixer]

My dad used a switch (that's what he called it anyway) , it was a young branch/ shoot growing out the base of the tree, thing was like a whip, and always available, when you saw him marching off up the garden, time to leg it. I even tried snapping them all off, but the buggers grew back in no time, or he would find another tree.

The vast majority of us know what a switch is....TRUSTS :grinyes:

[OneMasterMixer]

I'm old school "Whip Dat Ass".Kept me out of trouble and gave my father something to do with me.

Thats my Dawg!!!

[vic]

One funny TV moment was when Jane Pauley interviewed Bill Cosby(America's Dad) and he talked about his method or child rearing with his son, Ennis. Bill talked about 'whuppin' Ennis, and explaining to His son, right and Wrong. Jane's jaw, about hit the floor. The look of disbelief, on her face, the notion that The Jello Pudding Man, beats his kids. But we all know Ennis turned out to be a fine young man.

The guy that took his life? His Child-rearing? who knows. That's another thread.

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[Fletch]

I saw this grandmother slap her (8 year-old?) grandchild on the B41, goin' down Flatbush. Dude swung back! She pooowed the crap out of him! Dude got madder and fought back. I mean, it was freekin' on, going back and forth!!!!!!!!!

[Big Ken]

Ken, how do y'all 'carry it' with the triplets? That is, if you don't mind sharing.
I stay in their ass constantly. My three try to scheme, play the stupid roll, act like they didn't see anything, etc. Some behavior dosen't warrant an ass whoopin, but some type of punishment. I find for the most part that if I keep the one who did wrong from participating in something that all three of them were supposed to participate in, that works. Sometimes I go old school and make them write the inappropriate behavior 50-100 times.(They REALLY hate that) But sometimes, just talking with them and explaining the appropriate behavior works. We as parents must remember that our children have to learn something from the punishment that we dish out. If your method of punishment is not teaching your child to change their behavior, then you need to try something else that works.

[OneMasterMixer]

I saw this grandmother slap her (8 year-old?) grandchild on the B41, goin' down Flatbush. Dude swung back! She pooowed the crap out of him! Dude got madder and fought back. I mean, it was freekin' on, going back and forth!!!!!!!!!

That comes from lil dude not gwettin his ass Whooped right the first time. Man i wish I would try to have slapped my Grandmother at any age. Shit I still watch what I say cuz i can feel the back of her hand on my neck and she passed away many years ago

God Bless Grandma for beating my ass.

:biggrin:.

[OneMasterMixer]

I stay in their ass constantly. My three try to scheme, play the stupid roll, act like they didn't see anything, etc. Some behavior dosen't warrant an ass whoopin, but some type of punishment. I find for the most part that if I keep the one who did wrong from participating in something that all three of them were supposed to participate in, that works. Sometimes I go old school and make them write the inappropriate behavior 50-100 times.(They REALLY hate that) But sometimes, just talking with them and explaining the appropriate behavior works. We as parents must remember that our children have to learn something from the punishment that we dish out. If your method of punishment is not teaching your child to change their behavior, then you need to try something else that works.

"You are a Bad Mutha" .."Shut yo mouth" "Well I'm talkin Bout Ken..." "& we can dig it"

Three!!! Man you are my Idol

[TAD]

Ok I have to ask..Do you have children?

nice how you just glossed over my post.

i am a parent and i do not believe in corporal punishment. you think that shit works. it doesn't. the only thing you do is instill fear and the only reason the child might not try something again is because of that fear. but turn your back for a minute and the child will test his/her limits and will continue to behave the way he/she wants to when you're not around. believe me children hate their parents. and it is because they understand and feel respect from the day they are born and will lash out when they feel they are not being respected. they deserve every bit of respect. they earned it just by being born. it's up to parents to build a trusting relationship. in that way a child will learn to respect its parents by example.

now some might say well i was beat but i turned out ok. that may be true to a point but find me anyone who has been abused that does not have issues. i can tell you this, anyone who was abused and does not seem to have issues, probably does, but may have been cushioned by relatives, friends or older siblings where the child could find comfort. the child instinctively looks for balance, looks for the warmth, kindness and love in others that can make up for the harsh treatment overzealous parent afford their children.

[TAD]

That comes from lil dude not gwettin his ass Whooped right the first time. Man i wish I would try to have slapped my Grandmother at any age. Shit I still watch what I say cuz i can feel the back of her hand on my neck and she passed away many years ago

God Bless Grandma for beating my ass.

:biggrin:.

violence begets violence.

[Fletch]

That comes from lil dude not gwettin his ass Whooped right the first time. Man i wish I would try to have slapped my Grandmother at any age. Shit I still watch what I say cuz i can feel the back of her hand on my neck and she passed away many years ago

God Bless Grandma for beating my ass.

:biggrin:.It WAS whooped right the first time. But I'm not gonna front. I shouldn't be bringing this up, but the kid had a very mean spirit! That means he had no respect or regard for and about Grandma (and you could tell, too!), that's why he fought back!

[dj c-los]

nice how you just glossed over my post.

i am a parent and i do not believe in corporal punishment. you think that shit works. it doesn't. the only thing you do is instill fear and the only reason the child might not try something again is because of that fear. but turn your back for a minute and the child will test his/her limits and will continue to behave the way he/she wants to when you're not around. believe me children hate their parents. and it is because they understand and feel respect from the day they are born and will lash out when they feel they are not being respected. they deserve every bit of respect. they earned it just by being born. it's up to parents to build a trusting relationship. in that way a child will learn to respect its parents by example.

now some might say well i was beat but i turned out ok. that may be true to a point but find me anyone who has been abused that does not have issues. i can tell you this, anyone who was abused and does not seem to have issues, probably does, but may have been cushioned by relatives, friends or older siblings where the child could find comfort. the child instinctively looks for balance, looks for the warmth, kindness and love in others that can make up for the harsh treatment overzealous parent afford their children.


some here are talking about rearing and you keep talking about abuse.
i dont think anyone here is support of abuse.

[TAB.]

That comes from lil dude not gwettin his ass Whooped right the first time. Man i wish I would try to have slapped my Grandmother at any age. Shit I still watch what I say cuz i can feel the back of her hand on my neck and she passed away many years ago

God Bless Grandma for beating my ass.

:biggrin:.

Or it may be that lil dude(at age 2) didn't comprehend why the beatdown was given in the first place. My 2 yr old son has an aggressive personality, so early on, I realized meeting aggression with aggression's never going to work. Yeah, he will be that 8 year old because all he'd get from this type of punishment, is that I do it, cause I'm bigger that he. When he catches up, in size, let's say, age 12, then what?

[darrow]

The "do you have kids?" question is annoying.

It seems to suggest that anyone against corporal punishment couldn't know any better because he/she is not a parent. Conveniently, when it's discovered that the person does in fact have kids, no one turns around and then says "ah...then your outlook on - and stance against - corporal punishment make sense."

In other words, your experience matters little or nothing unless you agree with me that corporal punishment is ok.

I think people ought to just admit that they were spanked, hit, beat, whooped as kids and they haven't figured out how to do anything but repeat the same relationship with their own kids.

[OneMasterMixer]

violence begets violence.


"believe me children hate their parents"?

My Son loves me with all his heart and I would die for him. He is my world and completes me.

Before I go any further, first, I apologize for the glossing.



After a careful and thorough read here is my response.


I do not beat my child every chance I get. As a matter of fact if he had his butt beat more that 5 times..it would be alot. I do not "beat him til the white meat shows' nor begat any physical abuse. There are times when i have "Negotiated" and gave respect (as I do even when beating his ass) as after all is said and done...we talk

You can negotiate with your child if you feel it works, but later in life they will take you as a push over and feel they are adults.. THEY ARE NOT ADULTS.

The term "respect is earned" plays well in my book, but I am not and I repeat not going to negotiate with my child 10 times. That makes a spoiled child who thinks he can negotiate himself out of anything...guess what WRONGGGG!!!

My Son has learned the art of the alternate close. He will alternate close you if you let him until it works in his favor.

What would make me step up to a spanking..simple

Talking back to myself or his mother and playing boss. Respect is earned.


My Grandmother only gave me about 3 really good ass whippins and I know I deserved it. Not only was I wrong, but I wanted to be cute about it and if you have a child (which you do, per my reread) and this hasn't happened to you yet. Then God Bless you by all means..

Teach a child to respect you or they will feel like they can run over you. Boss vs Boss

Most that have the theory you are refering to got their ass beat when they were children and the 'I am not going to do that to my kid theory" kicked in.


To put this back on a positive note because i am only here to debate, not fight about it.

Everyone has their way of parenting that works for them. i am not saying your way is wrong, it is different as you can tell from most of the answer and I am glad you are taking the challenge to make it different. :thumbsup:

[OneMasterMixer]

The "do you have kids?" question is annoying.

It seems to suggest that anyone against corporal punishment couldn't know any better because he/she is not a parent. Conveniently, when it's discovered that the person does in fact have kids, no one turns around and then says "ah...then your outlook on - and stance against - corporal punishment make sense."

In other words, your experience matters little or nothing unless you agree with me that corporal punishment is ok.

I think people ought to just admit that they were spanked, hit, beat, whooped as kids and they haven't figured out how to do anything but repeat the same relationship with their own kids.

The reason for this is simple. Everyone has a theory, but when speaking from experience..that make a diff.

[Phyllis Hyman Cherry]

Interesting.For years now we have heard comedians make that old joke of how black parents discipline their kids as opposed to white parents.Around here i always see chicks walking with the belt around their neck,telling the child if you do that again ill fuck you up.Patterns repeat,thats how they were raised.You gotta be careful especially with little boys when it comes to discipline.There are alot of testoterone filled,angry for no reason men walking around for no reason.I have come to believe it is this same type of aggression that leads to gang violence,men that beat women etc.

[OneMasterMixer]

some here are talking about rearing and you keep talking about abuse.
i dont think anyone here is support of abuse.





Good point

[OneMasterMixer]

[QUOTE=TAD;690486]Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive,
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves,
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
But do not despair ...
If a child lives with tolerance, they learn to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If a child lives with praise, they learn to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, they live with justice.
If a child lives with security, they live to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, they learn to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship.
they learn to find love in the world.

— Dorothy Law Nolte



Thank you for bringing this up. I actually have this on the wall in my home.

:grinyes:

[TAD]

some here are talking about rearing and you keep talking about abuse.
i dont think anyone here is support of abuse.


it depends on your definition of abuse. hitting a child even mildly is abuse, yelling at a child, talking with a condescending tone, slapping a child where the child feels pain is abuse.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Providing intellectual security

Intellectual security refers to the conditions, in which a child's mind can develop. If the child's dignity is safe, that is nobody encroaches upon a child physically or verbally, then he is able to learn.

* To provide an atmosphere of peace and justice in family, where no one's dignity is encroached upon.
* To provide "no-fear," "no-threat,"no-verbal abuse" environment
* To spend bonding times and share wonderful moments with children
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_rearing

[OneMasterMixer]

Interesting.For years now we have heard comedians make that old joke of how black parents discipline their kids as opposed to white parents.Around here i always see chicks walking with the belt around their neck,telling the child if you do that again ill fuck you up.Patterns repeat,thats how they were raised.You gotta be careful especially with little boys when it comes to discipline.There are alot of testoterone filled,angry for no reason men walking around for no reason.I have come to believe it is this same type of aggression that leads to gang violence,men that beat women etc.

Well I can safely say, I have never been in a gang, owned a gun, been to jail, nor because of one of those beating, put my hand on a women.. I am not abusive to my child, wive, mother, father (MFSB) nor do i beat him constantly..

I am Black and Italian, so I could be considered in either field you chose.


I understand where you are coming from and would not use excessive force. Hell I don't even use a belt :-P. The reason i brought up this in the first place is simple. it is a hot topic and there are many opinions on what good parenting really is. I thought this would be a fun exercise for us to speak on how we feel.

I think many of us did exactly that.

[panklady]

"The father was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared even more when he found the box was empty. He spoke to her in a very harsh manner. "Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package?" The
little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses into it until it was full." The father was crushed. He fell on his knees and put his arms around his little girl, and he begged her to forgive him for his unnecessary anger.

A short time later, the child was killed in an accident. It’s been said that her father kept that gold box by his bed for all the years of his life. And whenever he was discouraged or faced difficult problems he would open the box and take out the imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there."

Whoever posted this...is toying with my emotional side. I'm tender & sensitive today. Fie on you for this. But it was sweet & sad.

[TAD]

Why Kids are Becoming Difficult?
Parents often complain about their kids and can be seen saying that kids don't obey them. They are difficult to handle.

In my opinion today's kids are more intuitive than the kids of previous decades. It is this inituitiveness that makes it difficult for most parents to understand a kid.

They have brain, they can think with new angles, find new ways, they can think new ideas. They are able to solve many problems. Actually their hunger for information makes them intuitive.

But parents think kids are just kids - just fools who should be taken care of and given guidance at every step. Instead if they try to understand the mind of a kid better they can solve the problem. Kids won't be a mystery them. They will obey more, they will develop more.

Just give more love and understanding to your kids. They will respond well.

[Phyllis Hyman Cherry]

Mixmaster being reared during the great depression was a different time than now.

You turned out okay,but your scenario and everyone else's might be a little differemt.In my house we didnt talk,it was beating and intimidation.This could very well be the reason why i lash out sometimes,not really on the board but in real life.Its hard to maintain a relationship if you have a bad temper.

[OneMasterMixer]

Mixmaster being reared during the great depression was a different time than now.

You turned out okay,but your scenario and everyone else's might be a little differemt.In my house we didnt talk,it was beating and intimidation.This could very well be the reason why i lash out sometimes,not really on the board but in real life.Its hard to maintain a relationship if you have a bad temper.


I totally understand where you are coming from. Thus the reason why most is negotiated. There are rare occasions when the negotiations don't work and it is never with out more than a few warnings (without raising my voice) . Let me also say that I don't yell at my child, there is no cursing allowed in our house by any parent for any reason and TV is only on a children's channel when they are in the room. I want my child to be a child without many of the pain staking things I have seen. I don't verbally abuse him in anyway and always commend him for all he does. I never come down on him first. My method is Positve - negative - positive and he is becoming a very well rounded child because of it. He has been on this earth for 7 years last weekand doesn't know everything..as an adult does. but he is learning.


I pray for you Phyliss that the anger that you feel is washed away. I don't know you personally, but from your chats you seem to be a wonderful person. :)-

[TAD]

[QUOTE=TAD;690486]Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive,
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves,
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
But do not despair ...
If a child lives with tolerance, they learn to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If a child lives with praise, they learn to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, they live with justice.
If a child lives with security, they live to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, they learn to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship.
they learn to find love in the world.

— Dorothy Law Nolte



Thank you for bringing this up. I actually have this on the wall in my home.

:grinyes:

:thumbsup:

[Phyllis Hyman Cherry]

Then again i dont have children,i cant say what the current trends in child rearing is.I suppose 30 years ago when i was being raised times were different.But when was verbal abuse and beatings ever in vogue?Ill have to ask my dad about that one!

[TAD]

"believe me children hate their parents"?

My Son loves me with all his heart and I would die for him. He is my world and completes me.

Before I go any further, first, I apologize for the glossing.



After a careful and thorough read here is my response.


I do not beat my child every chance I get. As a matter of fact if he had his butt beat more that 5 times..it would be alot. I do not "beat him til the white meat shows' nor begat any physical abuse. There are times when i have "Negotiated" and gave respect (as I do even when beating his ass) as after all is said and done...we talk

You can negotiate with your child if you feel it works, but later in life they will take you as a push over and feel they are adults.. THEY ARE NOT ADULTS.

The term "respect is earned" plays well in my book, but I am not and I repeat not going to negotiate with my child 10 times. That makes a spoiled child who thinks he can negotiate himself out of anything...guess what WRONGGGG!!!

My Son has learned the art of the alternate close. He will alternate close you if you let him until it works in his favor.

What would make me step up to a spanking..simple

Talking back to myself or his mother and playing boss. Respect is earned.


My Grandmother only gave me about 3 really good ass whippins and I know I deserved it. Not only was I wrong, but I wanted to be cute about it and if you have a child (which you do, per my reread) and this hasn't happened to you yet. Then God Bless you by all means..

Teach a child to respect you or they will feel like they can run over you. Boss vs Boss

Most that have the theory you are refering to got their ass beat when they were children and the 'I am not going to do that to my kid theory" kicked in.


To put this back on a positive note because i am only here to debate, not fight about it.

Everyone has their way of parenting that works for them. i am not saying your way is wrong, it is different as you can tell from most of the answer and I am glad you are taking the challenge to make it different. :thumbsup:

believe me it is not easy but i see a big difference in attitude when you approach the child on their level.

When Children Hate Parents
By Rani Kulwant

Most of the children love their parents. But it is also true that children love their parents only when parents take care of them properly with love and affection. In case, their requirements are not fulfilled they may start disliking the parents. Parents give birth to their children so they love them whatever the situation or condition may be. But it is not so for the children.

THERE IS A CONDITION

Children want their needs to be fulfilled. When they develop or grow they have certain requirements. If parents are unable to fulfil their requirements of love, money, understanding, and curtail their freedom too much children may develop dissatisfaction. This dissatisfaction may transform to dislike, and then hate. They also want that parents must help them to develop their personality in every possible manner.

INFLUENCE OF CIRCUMSTANCES

The second main reason why children start hating parents lies in the circumstances they are influenced with. They are influenced with the circumstance at home as well outside. Sometimes parents have too many tiffs and arguments. It disturbs the children too much. They are surprised at the behavior of their parents. They are unable to concentrate to studies or any other good activity at home. Another set of circumstance they get in outside world. They may mix up with bad company. Bad friends or people often affect their mind in a negative way and children start disrespecting their parents. They become selfish and uncaring.

SOLUTION

Although the solution to the problem is simple but it takes time. You need a lot of patience to get the attention and love of your children. Give them love, time and understanding. Listen to them properly. Motivate them to leave the company of bad friends or persons. Help them to get busy in study and career making. Provide them all the facilities which can develop their personality in positive way.

RaniKulwant

[TAD]

Majority Of Parents Abuse Children, Children Report

LOS ANGELES—A chilling national poll of U.S. children ages 3 through 12 estimated that nearly 75 million youngsters suffer both physical and psychological abuse at the hands of their parents on a daily basis.
Enlarge Image Majority Of Children

An abused child awaits her single allotted hour of television per day.

The poll, whose findings are part of a 700-page report released Tuesday by a coalition of child abuse monitoring and prevention organizations, indicts nearly 95 percent of American parents. It documents abuses ranging from less severe offenses, such as children being denied snacks just before dinner, to more egregious, long-term cases of neglect, such as never ever getting what they want, ever.

"My parents always tell me that I have to finish all my math homework or I won't be allowed to watch TV," said study participant and abuse victim "Derek," 10, who told researchers that some of his earliest memories were of this kind of mistreatment. "They're so mean. I hate them."

"I hate them, I hate them, I hate them," he added.

Encouraged to speak freely and confidentially about their home lives, subjects shocked even seasoned child welfare advocates with tales of systematic deprival and gratuitous cruelty. One Illinois boy told of being forced to linger with his mother in fabric stores and later leaving a Toys "R" Us empty-handed, even though the store sold a water gun he really wanted. An Arkansas 9-year-old said he spent all of third grade carrying a boring brown backpack instead of a super-cool Spider-Man one like a friend, whose parents love him, had. And a 6-year-old girl from Wisconsin was forced to sit at a dining room table for nearly two hours until she finished her canned green beans, a food widely considered by poll respondents to be disgusting and suitable only for adults.

"To hear the sadness in these kids' voices when they talk about how they are scared—literally scared—to bring home poor report cards, is heartbreaking," said Dr. Deirdre Fulton, child psychologist and director of the Nationwide Coalition to End Child Abuse, who co-authored the study. "Some of the children we interviewed even wished they were dead so their parents would feel guilty at their funerals."

"No child should ever wish to die," Fulton added.

According to pollsters, most victims were surprisingly open, even eager, to discuss their abuse, although some were less forthcoming about traumatic experiences that involved inappropriate touching.

"It's so embarrassing, and everybody sees it," said 7-year-old "Harry," whose mother hugs and kisses him goodbye in front of the school bus every day. "When it's happening, I close my eyes and wish it would stop, but it just goes on forever."

Other victims recounted similar forms of privacy invasion, such as being asked if they were wearing clean underwear, and being stripped naked and made to bathe, even after clearly stating that they did not need a bath.

Hair is another focus of unseemly pathological fixations, many children allege: Six out of 10 girls interviewed said that their mothers routinely and painfully pull, twist, and tug their hair into "stupid" hairstyles like pigtails, and some boys said that their mothers go so far as to use saliva to paste their hair into place.

According to the report, a shocking 100 percent of children who claimed to have been abused said their parents repeatedly answered "maybe" to a request, and then withheld from them a definitive answer for hours or, in some cases, days.

In addition to those who admitted to being touched inappropriately, 93 percent of children said they have, at one point or another, been subject to various types of physical abuse.

"My parents make me practice the piano for like 20 hours a day," said 8-year-old "Lacy," adding that sometimes she will hide in her closet to avoid rehearsal. "They told me if I hate it so much I can quit when I'm in seventh grade. That's like 40 years from now."

Some children, mostly boys, have even been pressed into brutal physical labor by their fathers, who demand their sons help them in the yard on Saturdays—one of only two days off for children who spend an average of 600 hours a week at school.

"He treats me like a slave," 12-year-old "Michael" said. "It's like it's my fault that my dad decided to buy a house with a lawn. And then when I do help, he says I shouldn't have had a bad attitude about it."

"Mom just sits there and lets the entire thing happen," "Michael" added.

In some of the more disturbing cases of abuse, parents reportedly take a domineering interest in their children's social lives, often threatening severe but undefined punishment for not being home by dark. Some children said their parents attempt to cut them off completely from the outside world, making many websites and television channels inaccessible and never letting them hang out with their friends.

The National Parents Association declined to comment on the overwhelming levels of abuse. When asked why they wouldn't comment, the NPA released a tersely worded statement: "Because we said so."

[MYOR]

Yall really need to learn to seperate ABUSE from a SPANKING..

They are not the same no matter how you try to spin it

[mhd]

Yall really need to learn to seperate ABUSE from a SPANKING..

They are not the same no matter how you try to spin it

is spanking violence?

[TAD]

Yall really need to learn to seperate ABUSE for a SPANKING..

They are not the same no matter how you try to spin it

i don't know. i don't think a child can differentiate. pain is pain. and the idea of a spanking is to inflict pain, however minimal, it still hurts, makes the child cry and the child will in turn repeat the learned behavior on the parents, child mates, siblings, elmo & the cookie monster. the upside is the pain threshold will be higher but that's what falling down, bumping your head, sports, & martial arts are for.

[MYOR]

is spanking violence?
No

[mhd]

i don't know. i don't think a child can differentiate. pain is pain. and the idea of a spanking is to inflict pain, however minimal, it still hurts, makes the child cry and the child will in turn repeat the learned behavior on the parents, child mates, siblings, elmo & the cookie monster. the upside is the pain threshold will be higher but that's what falling down, bumping your head, sports, & martial arts are for.

in addition to the pain, the tone and tenor of the parents voice and body language are used to instill fear and terrorize the child

[TAD]

No

in who's eyes?

[Discogoddess]

Yall really need to learn to seperate ABUSE for a SPANKING..

They are not the same no matter how you try to spin it

No, I think those who refuse to actually heed study after study after study after study after study after study that show that HITTING CHILDREN IS ABUSE are the ones who need to do the separating. Separate themselves from these old ideas that hitting a smaller, defenseless, dependent person somehow teaches any life lesson besides fear, anger and low self-worth. Just because our parents and grandparents did it, doesn't make it right.

[TAD]

in addition to the pain, the tone and tenor of the parents voice and body language are used to instill fear and terrorize the child

exactly.

[MYOR]

i don't know. i don't think a child can differentiate. pain is pain. and the idea of a spanking is to inflict pain, however minimal, it still hurts, makes the child cry and the child will in turn repeat the learned behavior on the parents, child mates, siblings, elmo & the cookie monster. the upside is the pain threshold will be higher but that's what falling down, bumping your head, sports, & martial arts are for.

Jesus the people I know that have spanked thier child can count it in ONE hand..

[MYOR]

in who's eyes?
The question is to me so mine..

[mhd]

exactly.

so, you have the authority figure, the ones that provide comfort, love, security, hugs, kisses, that taught you how to walk, talk, poop, that feeds you, sings to you, praise you, now standing over you, emphasising the huge size difference, yelling at you, with a mean scowl on their face, grabbing you and yelling while they inflict pain for behavior that you don't even understand

[mhd]

No

“violent behavior is defined as overt and intentional physically aggressive behavior against another person"

[MYOR]

I'm not telling you to spank your child if you dont wish to.. but for you to say people are abusing their child b/c perhaps once in a blue moon they give them a spank its abuse that is total bullshit..

[Discogoddess]

Ok I have to ask..Do you have children?

Yes, I have a daughter, who will not be made to endure the bullshit her parents did.

All yall can front if you wanna, but the beatings, slapping, cursings, and screaming didn't make me feel loved or make me want to "do right". They only made me fearful, resentful, angry and unsure...of my parents and myself. Yes, my parents were great parents in many other ways, but perpetuating that abusive shit (that they themselves endured) left marks the eye can never see.

[mhd]

Yes, I have a daughter, who will not be made to endure the bullshit her parents did.

All yall can front if you wanna, but the beatings, slapping, cursings, and screaming didn't make me feel loved or make me want to "do right". They only made me fearful, resentful, angry and unsure...of my parents and myself. Yes, my parents were great parents in many other ways, but perpetuating that abusive shit (that they themselves endured) left marks the eye can never see.

it worked for the slavemaster...didn't it?

[darrow]

The reason for this is simple. Everyone has a theory, but when speaking from experience..that make a diff.

what experience does one need before you can render an opinion that is valued? Do you need to be a parent? A grandparent? Could being a child once bring any valuable information to the discussion?

I understand that people ask "do you have children?" because they believe experience is valuable.

BUT...in the corporal punishment vs no corporal punishment discussions I've been a part of, the belief seems to be that the only way one could possibly be against corporal punishment is if he/she is inexperienced in raising children.

Evidence of experience AND being against corporal punishment seems to be devalued or dismissed.

[TAD]

Jesus the people I know that have spanked thier child can count it in ONE hand..

what are we talking about here. spanking once in their lifetime or continued abuse. forgive me but i don't understand what you're trying to say.

[Big Ken]

All of the people who say that you should not beat your child are wrong!!! Point Blank!!!! All of that book and theory crap is exactly that...CRAP!!!

Children need to have some type of fear instilled in them. Children who knowing there will be no consequence for their actions, will grow up thinking they can do whatever that want, and figure nothing will be done about it.

[MYOR]

what are we talking about here. spanking once in their lifetime or continued abuse. forgive me but i don't understand what you're trying to say.

well darling if you are spanking every day its abuse isnt it.. I'm not talking about that...

[MadMixer]

No, I think those who refuse to actually heed study after study after study after study after study after study that show that HITTING CHILDREN IS ABUSE are the ones who need to do the separating. Separate themselves from these old ideas that hitting a smaller, defenseless, dependent person somehow teaches any life lesson besides fear, anger and low self-worth. Just because our parents and grandparents did it, doesn't make it right.

Cant wait till the first time that darling lil girl looks u up and and down and says "whateva" :icon_rofl:

[mhd]

All of the people who say that you should not beat your child are wrong!!! Point Blank!!!! All of that book and theory crap is exactly that...CRAP!!!

Children need to have some type of fear instilled in them. Children who knowing there will be no consequence for their actions, will grow up thinking they can do whatever that want, and figure nothing will be done about it.

once you instill the fear in them, how do you get it out?

[darrow]

All of the people who say that you should not beat your child are wrong!!! Point Blank!!!! All of that book and theory crap is exactly that...CRAP!!!

Children need to have some type of fear instilled in them. Children who knowing there will be no consequence for their actions, will grow up thinking they can do whatever that want, and figure nothing will be done about it.

Yes, you are right. Books...studies...research...totally useless. I mean, who needs theory anyways?

[MYOR]

once you instill the fear in them, how do you get it out?
I think a little fear is good..

[mhd]

what experience does one need before you can render an opinion that is valued? Do you need to be a parent? A grandparent? Could being a child once bring any valuable information to the discussion?

I understand that people ask "do you have children?" because they believe experience is valuable.

BUT...in the corporal punishment vs no corporal punishment discussions I've been a part of, the belief seems to be that the only way one could possibly be against corporal punishment is if he/she is inexperienced in raising children.

Evidence of experience AND being against corporal punishment seems to be devalued or dismissed.

some think that having a child makes you a parent, another false notion

[Discogoddess]

All of the people who say that you should not beat your child are wrong!!! Point Blank!!!! All of that book and theory crap is exactly that...CRAP!!!

Children need to have some type of fear instilled in them. Children who knowing there will be no consequence for their actions, will grow up thinking they can do whatever that want, and figure nothing will be done about it.

What's crap is your wrong-headed assumption that if children aren't beaten, their bad behavior will go unchecked. Are you really saying that the only response to a child's misbehavior is striking them? So what was all that "I talk to them and/or take stuff away from them" stuff earlier? Complete bullshit?

Some of yall frighten me.

[Kristel 75]

Why is there more crime today than let's say 30 - 50 years ago? And, why is there a higher percentage of crime by children? I don't care either way about whether you use the belt or time outs. But, everyone here has to admit that there is something wrong with our society today and I don't know the solution.

[Discogoddess]

I'd hate to have to be in bed or in business witchyall one-trick ponies...if you can't be creative and multifaceted (and patient and resourceful) when it comes to disciplining your kids, then...

[mhd]

Why is there more crime today than let's say 30 - 50 years ago? And, why is there a higher percentage of crime by children? I don't care either way about whether you use the belt or time outs. But, everyone here has to admit that there is something wrong with our society today and I don't know the solution.

violence begats violence

[MadMixer]

some think that having a child makes you a parent, another false notion

Sounds like a parent to me....now theres a difference between responsible and irresponsible

[MYOR]

I'd hate to have to be in bed or in business witchyall one-trick ponies...if you can't be creative and multifaceted (and patient and resourceful) when it comes to disciplining your kids, then...

ohh puhlesse...

[TAD]

so, you have the authority figure, the ones that provide comfort, love, security, hugs, kisses, that taught you how to walk, talk, poop, that feeds you, sings to you, praise you, now standing over you, emphasising the huge size difference, yelling at you, with a mean scowl on their face, grabbing you and yelling while they inflict pain for behavior that you don't even understand

you have just broken down 10 maybe 15 years in one sentence and this sad picture you paint is the crux of why children hate their parents more than anyone else.

[kaaos]

i do but reserve it for major fuck ups and never with a belt. a good smack in the ass and the threat of one is good enough.

those people who dont have kids ...get off your high horse. you dont know until you have kids what its like.

[Big Ken]

What's crap is your wrong-headed assumption that if children aren't beaten, their bad behavior will go unchecked. Are you really saying that the only response to a child's misbehavior is striking them? So what was all that "I talk to them and/or take stuff away from them" stuff earlier? Complete bullshit?

Some of yall frighten me.
Naw my sista, you got me all wrong. I'm not saying that beating your child/children is the only way. At the same time there will be times when a child needs to have there ass beat. Like I said earlier, it depends on the situation.

I will talk and explain behavior to my boys, but I will also wear their little asses out if needed.

[darrow]

i do but reserve it for major fuck ups and never with a belt. a good smack in the ass and the threat of one is good enough.

those people who dont have kids ...get off your high horse. you dont know until you have kids what its like.

and what if you DO have kids

[Moksha]

All of that book and theory crap is exactly that...CRAP!!!


:jpshakehead:

only on dhp...

[Discogoddess]

Why is there more crime today than let's say 30 - 50 years ago? And, why is there a higher percentage of crime by children? I don't care either way about whether you use the belt or time outs. But, everyone here has to admit that there is something wrong with our society today and I don't know the solution.

First, I challenge that there is more crime now than 30-50 years ago. In many urban areas, crime has been on a downward spiral since the 90s. Of course, certain kinds of crimes (esp. related to the drug trade) have been up, down and level, but more crime? Dunno about that. Anyone feel free to correct me on this.

Second, I'd hazard a guess that there are many reasons that society seems out of control and kids not getting beat by their parents doesn't have shit to do with it. Hell, it seems that today's (black) parents are even quicker to snatch a plug out of their kids' behinds, thanks to the ever-more-popular "I wish a MF would" attitude in the culture. I think that fewer parents being present in the home is one place to start looking (i.e., 70 percent of American black children are born to single mothers). And, the fact that more and more kids are being raised/occupied by devices (TV, video games, internet, etc.) and not actually spending regular, quality time with their parents.

[mhd]

Naw my sista, you got me all wrong. I'm not saying that beating your child/children is the only way. At the same time there will be times when a child needs to have there ass beat. Like I said earlier, it depends on the situation.

I will talk and explain behavior to my boys, but I will also wear their little asses out if needed.

and instill fear, don't forget that one, cause black boys in america need to have fear instilled in them, especially by the most important male figure they will ever know....
fear is the dream killer...

[kaaos]

and what if you DO have kids

then you raise them your way and i'll raise them my way. I wont tell you how to raise yours and....

[Friday]

i'm gonna beat my kids and imma have 10 just to piss you all off!! :thumbsup: hahahaha:rofl5:

[Detroitbootybass]

The best approach I have seen (I am the father of a soon to be 13 year old boy) is talking to him... as a person. I've never once had to 'spank' him or hit him in any way, shape, or form. I'll punish negative behavior, but I try to reward the positive behaviors at least as much (if not more).

Does my son get into trouble? Sure, but barely - he has failed to turn in all his homework on a couple of occasions when he said he did. That's pretty much it though. His mother used to spank him frequently and he was, according to her, very bad all the time. She has since stopped the corporal punishment (hitting) and started to employ my methods with great success. He is actually a really good kid. He's a whole lot better than I was as a youngster... but I was beaten and, even to this day, still hate my parents.

Respect is a two-way street... you give it, and you'll get it in return.

[MYOR]

i'm gonna beat my kids and imma have 10 just to piss you all off!! :thumbsup: hahahaha:rofl5:

Silly..:rofl5::rofl5:

[Discogoddess]

...those people who dont have kids ...get off your high horse. you dont know until you have kids what its like.

Which people are those?

[kaaos]

I have seen kids out in public that need a good ass whooping ...disrespecting their mom and shit.

[kaaos]

Which people are those?

people with 0 kids and lots of advise on how to raise them....those people

[Friday]

Silly..:rofl5::rofl5:

:grinyes: hee hee!

[Friday]

The best approach I have seen (I am the father of a soon to be 13 year old boy) is talking to him... as a person. I've never once had to 'spank' him or hit him in any way, shape, or form. I'll punish negative behavior, but I try to reward the positive behaviors at least as much (if not more).

Does my son get into trouble? Sure, but barely - he has failed to turn in all his homework on a couple of occasions when he said he did. That's pretty much it though. His mother used to spank him frequently and he was, according to her, very bad all the time. She has since stopped the corporal punishment (hitting) and started to employ my methods with great success. He is actually a really good kid. He's a whole lot better than I was as a youngster... but I was beaten and, even to this day, still hate my parents.

Respect is a two-way street... you give it, and you'll get it in return.

thank you for not being preachy!! :thumbsup:

[mhd]

The best approach I have seen (I am the father of a soon to be 13 year old boy) is talking to him... as a person. I've never once had to 'spank' him or hit him in any way, shape, or form. I'll punish negative behavior, but I try to reward the positive behaviors at least as much (if not more).

Does my son get into trouble? Sure, but barely - he has failed to turn in all his homework on a couple of occasions when he said he did. That's pretty much it though. His mother used to spank him frequently and he was, according to her, very bad all the time. She has since stopped the corporal punishment (hitting) and started to employ my methods with great success. He is actually a really good kid. He's a whole lot better than I was as a youngster... but I was beaten and, even to this day, still hate my parents.

Respect is a two-way street... you give it, and you'll get it in return.

c'mon man, don't you know you gotta instill fear in black boys?!! why in da hell are you teaching your son respect? why in da hell are you teaching him to give it, to earn it and to live it? what are you trying to do, raise a man???

[Discogoddess]

...fear is the dream killer...

Thank you! Muhfuggas walking around all dejected, defeated and dream-deferred and shit (we see that all day, erryday on DHP), not understanding the genesis of that shit.

When fear-derived obedience was needed to keep our black asses from the noose, I can dig it. When we had nothing else to eat but the pig and some root veggies, ok. But damn, at what point to we do better because we know better?

[Discogoddess]

people with 0 kids and lots of advise on how to raise them....those people


In this thread, who are those people?

[kaaos]

The best approach I have seen (I am the father of a soon to be 13 year old boy) is talking to him... as a person. I've never once had to 'spank' him or hit him in any way, shape, or form. I'll punish negative behavior, but I try to reward the positive behaviors at least as much (if not more).

Does my son get into trouble? Sure, but barely - he has failed to turn in all his homework on a couple of occasions when he said he did. That's pretty much it though. His mother used to spank him frequently and he was, according to her, very bad all the time. She has since stopped the corporal punishment (hitting) and started to employ my methods with great success. He is actually a really good kid. He's a whole lot better than I was as a youngster... but I was beaten and, even to this day, still hate my parents.

Respect is a two-way street... you give it, and you'll get it in return.


what's good for the goose ain't always good for the gander.

[MYOR]

Thank you! Muhfuggas walking around all dejected, defeated and dream-deferred and shit (we see that all day, erryday on DHP), not understanding the genesis of that shit.

When fear-derived obedience was needed to keep our black asses from the noose, I can dig it. When we had nothing else to eat but the pig and some root veggies, ok. But damn, at what point to we do better because we know better?
Ya'll just love taking shit to the extreme

[kaaos]

In this thread, who are those people?

i dont know for sure but they know who they are. it was an open ended statement

not only this thread though on tv as well

[Discogoddess]

Ya'll just love taking shit to the extreme

It's not extreme to see the effects of bad parenting (sorry, yall, big mama nem whupping your ass wasn't a good thing) and extrapolate. In fact it's easy...Phyllis gave a couple of examples from his own life, as did I.

[OneMasterMixer]

what experience does one need before you can render an opinion that is valued? Do you need to be a parent? A grandparent? Could being a child once bring any valuable information to the discussion?

I understand that people ask "do you have children?" because they believe experience is valuable.

BUT...in the corporal punishment vs no corporal punishment discussions I've been a part of, the belief seems to be that the only way one could possibly be against corporal punishment is if he/she is inexperienced in raising children.

Evidence of experience AND being against corporal punishment seems to be devalued or dismissed.


Ok I am not sure where corporal punishment gets into this, but let me give you an example.

I have had chats with people who say "Oh I can take care of a child, I baby sit my nephew all the time". Ummm well.... yeah.. but you give them back they aren't yours. You may think you would die for your nephew until the bullets fly. It is sort of like taking a law class and considering yourself a law expert.

EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER

When My Wonderful wife gave birth to our Son and he opened his eyes from that crib in the hospital and looked at me and smiled. I cried like a new born. I knew then and there that he was everything to me (shit I am getting misty right now :mecry:) and there is nothing and I mean nothing i wouldn't do for him. Now this doesn't mean (since I brought this up in a separate thread) because he or she is adopted that you can't find that love, but when it is your child......it is different.

[mhd]

Now this doesn't mean (since I brought this up in a separate thread) because he or she is adopted that you can't find that love, but when it is your child......it is different.

by your own twisted logic, if you have never adopted a child how would you know?

[MYOR]

It's not extreme to see the effects of bad parenting (sorry, yall, big mama nem whupping your ass wasn't a good thing) and extrapolate. In fact it's easy...Phyllis gave a couple of examples from his own life, as did I.

Like I said if you are being whooped for every little single thing.. Yes that is abuse.. No question.. But if they love you get out ways the spanking 100times over.. Its not abuse and you wont hate your parents.. Spanking is LAST Resort..

[OneMasterMixer]

I have seen kids out in public that need a good ass whooping ...disrespecting their mom and shit.


:thumbsup:

[OneMasterMixer]

once you instill the fear in them, how do you get it out?

easy one word .."LOVE"

[OneMasterMixer]

by your own twisted logic, if you have never adopted a child how would you know?

because love for ones child can be learned....by experience.

[mhd]

easy one word .."LOVE"

so, which one does the kid associate with you, the violent fear instiller or the loving caregiver?

[kaaos]

so, which one does the kid associate with you, the violent fear instiller or the loving caregiver?

both

[mhd]

both

so, what should your daughter seek out when she grows up?

[däp]

i get really annoyed by all the pro-corporal punishment views. we've had this conversation before i don't agree with spanking as a form a parenting. anybody can take an ass-whooping. getting a beating for misbehaving will only teach a child that he will be beat for misbehaving. it's not a real consequence and teaches them absolutely nothing.

it's pure laziness on the part of some parents. it takes a few seconds to spank a child. then, you can go back to "your" business. but to actually spend time teaching and cultivating a young mind takes too much time and energy.

someone wrote earlier asking why so many of our youth are ending up in jail? well, from my mentoring experience it appears that quite a few of them were not given the attention they deserved during their most impressionable years. "the only time daddy gave me the time of day was when i did something wrong." negative attention becomes better than no attention at all. of course there are many other factors.

i don't want my children to fear me. i want them to be aware of the consequences of certain actions. i want them to respect my authority. whenever they have a question about who is charge, there are many, many ways i can prove it to them without raising a hand.

[TAD]

sometimes the child will make us look in the mirror and realize that little brat is just like me. lol!. and since we're supposed to surpass our parents and as a human race continue to evolve, we know better than to make the same mistakes.

[mhd]

because love for ones child can be learned....by experience.

sorry, that makes no sense

[kaaos]

so, what should your daughter seek out when she grows up?

i have 2 boys not sure if i would do the same for a girl as i do for my boys. every kid is different i would imagine being more so for a girl.

[Bill Blake]

so, which one does the kid associate with you, the violent fear instiller or the loving caregiver?

I think it’s important for any adult to consider why for what reason they would chose beating their children as a from of instruction?

The only answer I can come up with is want of control. Not much else beyond that.

[Discogoddess]

i get really annoyed by all the pro-corporal punishment views. we've had this conversation before i don't agree with spanking as a form a parenting. anybody can take an ass-whooping. getting a beating for misbehaving will only teach a child that he will be beat for misbehaving. it's not a real consequence and teaches them absolutely nothing.

it's pure laziness on the part of some parents. it takes a few seconds to spank a child. then, you can go back to "your" business. but to actually spend time teaching and cultivating a young mind takes too much time and energy.

someone wrote earlier asking why so many of our youth are ending up in jail? well, from my mentoring experience it appears that quite a few of them were not given the attention they deserved during their most impressionable years. "the only time daddy gave me the time of day was when i did something wrong." negative attention becomes better than no attention at all. of course there are many other factors.

i don't want my children to fear me. i want them to be aware of the consequences of certain actions. i want them to respect my authority. whenever, they have a question about who is on charge, there are many, many ways i can prove it to them without raising a hand.

:hail:

[kaaos]

I think it’s important for any adult to consider why for what reason they would chose beating their children as a from of instruction?

The only answer I can come up with is want of control. Not much else beyond that.

what is wrong with control. nothing worse than when a parent loses control of their kids....nothing

[mhd]

i have 2 boys not sure if i would do the same for a girl as i do for my boys. every kid is different i would imagine being more so for a girl.

will your boys learn to express their love through violence?

[TAD]

thank you for not being preachy!! :thumbsup:

once the son of a preacher man always the sun of a preacher man!! :rofl5:

[MYOR]

i get really annoyed by all the pro-corporal punishment views. we've had this conversation before i don't agree with spanking as a form a parenting. anybody can take an ass-whooping. getting a beating for misbehaving will only teach a child that he will be beat for misbehaving. it's not a real consequence and teaches them absolutely nothing.

it's pure laziness on the part of some parents. it takes a few seconds to spank a child. then, you can go back to "your" business. but to actually spend time teaching and cultivating a young mind takes too much time and energy.

someone wrote earlier asking why so many of our youth are ending up in jail? well, from my mentoring experience it appears that quite a few of them were not given the attention they deserved during their most impressionable years. "the only time daddy gave me the time of day was when i did something wrong." negative attention becomes better than no attention at all. of course there are many other factors.

i don't want my children to fear me. i want them to be aware of the consequences of certain actions. i want them to respect my authority. whenever they have a question about who is charge, there are many, many ways i can prove it to them without raising a hand.

And it really annoying that ya'll think just becuase you dont spank. you might be better parents or that we are lazy..

Again I havent seen anyone say they are gonna spank first to go on their way..

But that it will be used IF NEED BE..

Stop being so condescending

[Friday]

once the son of a preacher man always the sun of a preacher man!! :rofl5:

you getting all joplin on me!! :wink:

[OneMasterMixer]

so, which one does the kid associate with you, the violent fear instiller or the loving caregiver?

The loving father that he hugs every night and tells me how much he loves me and that I am his best friend. I am the father, that plays ball with him. Listens to him tell stories, listens to his stories about school and his friends. helps with his homework. Takes him on outings to knick games (even if they are going to lose) Helps him practice guitar so he can wow the instructor with his knowledge, Goes to his Karate classes with him every single saturday morning. Cuddles with him and watches children's shows that I really would rather not watch (BTW What the hell is up with the disney channel?). I am the Father that takes him to Church and says his prayers with him every night before he goes to bed. Sound like I am the tirant you want me to be?

Man I didn't realize what an asshole I really was until you made me type this.

Ohhh the shame of it all :conf44:

[Big Ken]

and instill fear, don't forget that one, cause black boys in america need to have fear instilled in them, especially by the most important male figure they will ever know....
fear is the dream killer...
I have no idea what you are talking about. :stupid:

[mhd]

I have no idea what you are talking about. :stupid:

lol, thats obvious

[TAC]

but to actually spend time teaching and cultivating a young mind takes too much time and energy.

Parenting is a learning process. It takes having a child to realize that you have been entrusted with a "clean pallet" and that, therefore, the onus is upon you to nurture that child so that they reach their full potential.

[däp]

I heard a wise woman say "if I don't beat them now...then they will beat you later".

As a survivor of pushiment, spankings & even a good beating or two...I have complete self-control, good sense of self, healthy respect for others lives & property.

Cast my vote for a good yoking. LOL

but, doesn't the outcome depend on the child? maybe you "thought" you were being taken to task when in reality (looking back) it wasn't all that. you did write "a good beating or two." it sounds like there was some balance.

[mhd]

Parenting is a learning process. It takes having a child to realize that you have been entrusted with a "clean pallet" and that, therefore, the onus is upon you to nurture that child so that they reach their full potential.

exactly, much respect

[fred da warrior]

Seems that the "nuturing" process means different things to different parents

[däp]

And it really annoying that ya'll think just becuase you dont spank. you might be better parents or that we are lazy..

Again I havent seen anyone say they are gonna spank first to go on their way..

But that it will be used IF NEED BE..

Stop being so condescending

i'm not telling anyone how she should raise her child. we're all stating opinions here. mine is that its laziness when used as a typical parenting tool. corporal punishment should be an "extreme" last resort.

[Bill Blake]

what is wrong with control. nothing worse than when a parent loses control of their kids....nothing

Quick fix solutions, usually involving violence, intimidation, force: that’s why when people protest, the government sends out the cops and military to beat them into submission as opposed to hearing and considering their grievances. Their priority is order, and taking the protesters grievances into consideration would imply having to give up the one thing they value most –order; above all, order.

But what I’m getting at here is that it would be hard-pressed for me to sincerely believe that when you beat your children, that the primary source for such action is their wellbeing; that the primary motivation is for your order.

[MYOR]

i'm not telling anyone how she should raise her child. we're all stating opinions here. mine is that its laziness. corporal punishment should be an "extreme" last resort.
Which is what being said by the pro-spanking...

Shit my sis spanked her son the other day as a last resort.. When talking, punishing, trying everything else didnt work. Does that make her a bad parent no.. Did my nephew straight out. Yes..

Funny thing, she cried(of course he didnt see her), he didnt.

[TAC]

she cried... because she knew she had failed, and the little kid won the struggle.

[mhd]

because she knew she had failed, and the little kid won the struggle.

she failed, but they both lost

[MYOR]

she failed, but they both lost

If him getting his grades back up is losing then I guess I would take that lose....

[mhd]

If him getting his grades back up is losing then I guess I would take that lose....

which is a bigger motivator, the love of learning or the fear of pain?

[vic]

because she knew she had failed, and the little kid won the struggle.

WTH?

[däp]

Seems that the "nuturing" process means different things to different parents

what's interesting is that i don't recall ever feeling loved after getting my ass whooped. on the real. i knew i was loved, just not at that moment. lol.

[MYOR]

because she knew she had failed, and the little kid won the struggle.
Yes tac she failed... The little one :thumbsup:

[däp]

Which is what being said by the pro-spanking...

Shit my sis spanked her son the other day as a last resort.. When talking, punishing, trying everything else didnt work. Does that make her a bad parent no.. Did my nephew straight out. Yes..

Funny thing, she cried(of course he didnt see her), he didnt.

when there is a discussion/disagreement between me and my child, there is no escalation. lol. i got no problem with you or your sister. for real. i think we all agree that parenting is extremely difficult. TAC said it best. its a learned process. i take some of my cues from those who have been successful at it.

there are no guarantees. i wish you all the best in raising your children.

[Bill Blake]

Yes tac she failed... The little one :thumbsup:


Yea, it’s actually kind of sad when I came to the realization that you didn’t get beat enough, even still…

[MYOR]

Yea, it’s actually kind of sad when I came to the realization that you didn’t get beat enough, even still…

Whats even more sad is that you think you can cook.. Go back to challenging the grandma's..

[TAC]

Whats even more sad is that you think you can cook.. Go back to challenging the grandma's..

Major P'wnage right here....

[Bill Blake]

Major P'wnage right here....

You could get The Dick Hand!

[TAC]

You could get The Dick Hand!



http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/1233/cimg1207cl1.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

Guess your days of being the "Grill Master" are limited.

[Fletch]

One thing I have noticed....that ass whoopings can be stressful to the parent!!!!!

One person I know constantly tears her son's ass up!!!! But one day, the son was running around, and the parent gave a big 'what am I gonna do with this kid' gasp!!!!!!

Very noticeable.

[OneMasterMixer]

One thing I have noticed....that ass whoopings can be stressful to the parent!!!!!

One person I know constantly tears her son's ass up!!!! But one day, the son was running around, and the parent gave a big 'what am I gonna do with this kid' gasp!!!!!!

Very noticeable.

Kid is like Nah nah nah nah nah

:tongueout:

[Phyllis Hyman Cherry]

I guess in the end people should rear their kids in the way the feel they should.People should know that there are other forms of discipline besides becoming physical.My parents did the best they could,look at the blueprint they were given.The patterns just repeat,i cant say that a spanking is child abuse but there are those who take it to far.

[jimmymack-2000]

I guess in the end people should rear their kids in the way the feel they should.People should know that there are other forms of discipline besides becoming physical.My parents did the best they could,look at the blueprint they were given.The patterns just repeat,i cant say that a spanking is child abuse but there are those who take it to far.

That's all well and fine, but if you're hitting your child in a vain attempt to correct unacceptable behavior, it may be having an impact on other kids.

My daughter's in pre-school, and there's this little thug in her class that tried to push her down the stairs, punched another kid in the stomach, has tried to spit on a few kids, etc.

I was there when this kid's dad came in to pick him up, and the teachers told the dad about a particularly bad thing the kid had done that day.

Next thing I know I hear screaming, and the dad is coming throught the coat-room carrying his kid in a headlock (feet off the ground) right out the door, with a twisted look on his face.

I can only imagine what that poor kid gets at home when other people aren't around....

[OneMasterMixer]

That's all well and fine, but if you're hitting your child in a vain attempt to correct unacceptable behavior, it may be having an impact on other kids.

My daughter's in pre-school, and there's this little thug in her class that tried to push her down the stairs, punched another kid in the stomach, has tried to spit on a few kids, etc.

I was there when this kid's dad came in to pick him up, and the teachers told the dad about a particularly bad thing the kid had done that day.

Next thing I know I hear screaming, and the dad is coming throught the coat-room carrying his kid in a headlock (feet off the ground) right out the door, with a twisted look on his face.

I can only imagine what that poor kid gets at home when other people aren't around....

Speaking from experience of this.........

My Son went through this in aftercare (1st grade) at the school. Many times this doesn't come from the kid getting their ass beat but simply..older brother syndrome. In your case it would definitely seem to be the parent. In our case the kid's older brother would fight with him constantly so...that behavior followed him to school. There are many reasons why things like this happen. As someone said in an earlier post some kids start out with problems or adapting is an issue.especially in PreK. Very difficult time of separation between parent and child. It is so hard on the child and parent (victims side) when these things happen. we all dealt with bullies when we were young and many times it is triggered from lack of attention.

Our Solution after telling the teacher, principal, caregiver, agency that provides...Karate lessons. Now no one gets near my Son because they know he will protect himself, but not harm any other child. He has to tell the caregiver two times within the same situation. After that well....no damage to the child but lets just say..that issue ends. For the record, I am not teaching him to be a bully, but to protect himself from bullies and my Son is far from violent. As a matter of fact he would rather let a child hit him than hit back..thus Karate kicks in (pardon the pun).


Very sorry to hear about your situation and hope it can be rectified.

Wishing you the best.

[dj c-los]

That's all well and fine, but if you're hitting your child in a vain attempt to correct unacceptable behavior, it may be having an impact on other kids.

My daughter's in pre-school, and there's this little thug in her class that tried to push her down the stairs, punched another kid in the stomach, has tried to spit on a few kids, etc.

I was there when this kid's dad came in to pick him up, and the teachers told the dad about a particularly bad thing the kid had done that day.

Next thing I know I hear screaming, and the dad is coming throught the coat-room carrying his kid in a headlock (feet off the ground) right out the door, with a twisted look on his face.

I can only imagine what that poor kid gets at home when other people aren't around....

you cant take one situation and make a life long determination of what the kids outcome may be. for all you know that kid will be "somebody" in our society and the other kids a bunch of losers.

you dont know what life brings

[jimmymack-2000]

Speaking from experience of this.........

Very sorry to hear about your situation and hope it can be rectified.

Wishing you the best.

Thanks very much OneMasterMixer. I don't necessarily want her to learn that the best thing to do is hit back (at least not yet, at 3.5 years old), but it's gotten so that my violence-abhorring pacifist wife is telling our kid to do so, because she's sick of it. That, and the caregivers seem a bit overwhelmed by this kid.


you cant take one situation and make a life long determination of what the kids outcome may be. for all you know that kid will be "somebody" in our society and the other kids a bunch of losers.

you dont know what life brings

I don't know even remotely know where you're coming from with this. No one's writing the kid off...true, my language was a bit harsh, but that's because I'm sick of my kid - who wouldn't hurt a fly - being victimized. I'm also sick of this kid's asshole dad, who seems to be programmed to do only one thing: try to hurt or humiliate the kid in order to get him to comply.

The real divide on this thread is around what corporal punishment accomplishes: it seems some folks think you can "beat the bad" out of a kid. I think hitting a child only serves to beat the bad INTO them.

[OneMasterMixer]

Thanks very much OneMasterMixer. I don't necessarily want her to learn that the best thing to do is hit back (at least not yet, at 3.5 years old), but it's gotten so that my violence-abhorring pacifist wife is telling our kid to do so, because she's sick of it. That, and the caregivers seem a bit overwhelmed by this kid.



That is exactly what happened in our situation. The caregiven started to actually ignore the situation and we complained so much that finally from her frustration she went to the principal.

The Principal called the Agency (YWCA) who is in charge of the program and told them "fix it or you are fired". Needless to say the result ended up with one of the teachers working overtime and having the kids in a structured environment where they actually do their homework and have computer time (She is wonderful). Now that the program is structure and the kids are preoccupied, better result. We are very happy.

[mhd]

...one of the teachers working overtime and having the kids in a structured environment where they actually do their homework and have computer time (She is wonderful). Now that the program is structure and the kids are preoccupied, better result. We are very happy.

so, instead of a violent solution, someone actually took the time to think about solving the problem instead of beating someone, that should be a hint...

[Moksha]

you cant take one situation and make a life long determination of what the kids outcome may be. for all you know that kid will be "somebody" in our society and the other kids a bunch of losers.

you dont know what life brings

true. However, scientists have done numerous peer-reviewed studies on corporal punishment, looking at trends across many, many kids. And, the studies show that kids who are spanked (even just occasionally) tend to be more prone to violence, have higher chances of incarceration, make less money as adults, score lower on IQ tests, and are more susceptible to adult depression.

[OneMasterMixer]

true. However, scientists have done numerous peer-reviewed studies on corporal punishment, looking at trends across many, many kids. And, the studies show that kids who are spanked (even just occasionally) tend to be more prone to violence, have higher chances of incarceration, make less money as adults, score lower on IQ tests, and are more susceptible to adult depression.


Scientist...Hear say yadda yadda.

I bet that many scientists themselves tend to be more prone to violence, have higher chances of incarceration, make less money as adults, score lower on IQ tests, and are more susceptible to adult depression.


I hate scientists and case studies. Nothing personal, but most of it is bullsh*& and $$ from govt funding or worse.

If you take a hand full of people and do a study, it doesn't mean the entire world is part of this investigation.

If I took a poll here on DHP and asked who got their asses whipped when they were children, I guarantee most would respond yes and for a fact there are brilliant people on this site.

I really think we need to leave Science and Doctors out of equations.

My Son suffers from allergies and doctors said he needs singular, well guess what, singular has been linked to issues just like the rest of the medicines ..not to mention side effects. Meanwhile I started him with the singular and it created problems. I took him off it and he hasn't been sick since..really. Not even a mild cold. They also suggested certain prescription vitamins well his friends take them and they are always sick. He doesn't take them and not even a sniffle.

I would be more comfortable if you mentioned a parent ("I know here he goes again"), or at least someone not remotely involved with the shady medical field. Someone who actually cares and has possibly been through it.

I personally hate violence, scored pretty high, grad college, never went to jail, make a very good salary, yadda yadda yadda. Depressed Hahh!! I don't think so.


JMO


Screw Science and theory.

[OneMasterMixer]

so, instead of a violent solution, someone actually took the time to think about solving the problem instead of beating someone, that should be a hint...

I guess you glossed over my posts MHD.

less than 5 times.. I am not the tirant you would like to assume I am.

['Magic' Juan]

http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/1233/cimg1207cl1.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

Guess your days of being the "Grill Master" are limited.

Is that Russell Dalrymple from Seinfeld?

http://i29.tinypic.com/n12urd.jpg

[Bill Blake]

I don't know even remotely know where you're coming from with this. No one's writing the kid off...true, my language was a bit harsh, but that's because I'm sick of my kid - who wouldn't hurt a fly - being victimized. I'm also sick of this kid's asshole dad, who seems to be programmed to do only one thing: try to hurt or humiliate the kid in order to get him to comply.

It's obvious the solution is to BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THAT KID'S DAD'S FUCKING ASS!

[dj c-los]

true. However, scientists have done numerous peer-reviewed studies on corporal punishment, looking at trends across many, many kids. And, the studies show that kids who are spanked (even just occasionally) tend to be more prone to violence, have higher chances of incarceration, make less money as adults, score lower on IQ tests, and are more susceptible to adult depression.

i got spanked and i make dam good money.
fvck them scientists.

[mhd]

I guess you glossed over my posts MHD.

less than 5 times.. I am not the tirant you would like to assume I am.

huh?

[MYOR]

i got spanked and i make dam good money.
fvck them scientists.
But your probably on some happy pills..

[TAB.]

The real divide on this thread is around what corporal punishment accomplishes: it seems some folks think you can "beat the bad" out of a kid. I think hitting a child only serves to beat the bad INTO them.

That's the spin, you anti-corporal folks put on it. I used to swat my Daughter when she was about 3, for running from me, when we walked down the street. She refused to obey me, when I'd say stop. This was not only disobediant, but dangerous, because or street traffic. Yelling for her to stop, at the top of my lungs, was not working. I'd even show her the traffic, that would cause her harm, and she still didn't get it. Using the belt, wasn't about beating the child into obediance, it was about preventing her from harming herself.

I can still recall my old man giving my sisters a memorable whipping, when they were 6 and 7, (I was 5)because they came home laughing about how their friends put them in a clothes dryer. At the time, I thought my Dad was cruel, cause they was just having fun. But, a few years later, after he Divorced, and left the Household, I got why he was so enraged. My sisters allowed their friends to put themselves in danger. I understood the lesson from that beating, just as I understood why my mom lit my ass up, for starting a fire behind a neighbor's stairwell. I never did it, again.

If my kid thinks I'm mean because I spanked her for running across a street by herself, so be it. At least she will be alive, to ponder the lesson.

[dj c-los]

But your probably on some happy pills..

why you gotta take it there?
it's a long story alright. i was ok? i was going through things!
doc said its only for a little while. :jpshakehead:

[mhd]

That's the spin, you anti-corporal folks put on it. I used to swat my Daughter when she was about 3, for running from me, when we walked down the street. She refused to obey me, when I'd say stop. This was not only disobediant, but dangerous, because or street traffic. Yelling for her to stop, at the top of my lungs, was not working. I'd even show her the traffic, that would cause her harm, and she still didn't get it. Using the belt, wasn't about beating the child into obediance, it was about preventing her from harming herself.

I can still recall my old man giving my sisters a memorable whipping, when they were 6 and 7, (I was 5)because they came home laughing about how their friends put them in a clothes dryer. At the time, I thought my Dad was cruel, cause they was just having fun. But, a few years later, after he Divorced, and left the Household, I got why he was so enraged. My sisters allowed their friends to put themselves in danger. I understood the lesson from that beating, just as I understood why my mom lit my ass up, for starting a fire behind a neighbor's stairwell. I never did it, again.

If my kid thinks I'm mean because I spanked her for running across a street by herself, so be it. At least she will be alive, to ponder the lesson.

dude, she is three...

[Martin Red]

http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/S/supernanny/

[mhd]

I guess you glossed over my posts MHD.

less than 5 times.. I am not the tirant you would like to assume I am.

don't know how you reached that conclusion, obviously you are a very involved parent, and you are thinkin about these issues, i'm just pointing out how a solution was reached in this scenario, they just put in some time, effort and work, spanking is a short cut that does not work long term, time, effort and some focus does

[OneMasterMixer]

It's obvious the solution is to BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THAT KID'S DAD'S FUCKING ASS!

I agree but you will be considered part of the corporal punishment crew and labels with a low IQ and self esteem..lol

I say fuck that Beat his ass!! (Please note that I have violent tendancies)

:2gunsfiring_v1:



"He blinded me with science"

[Moksha]

Scientist...Hear say yadda yadda.

I bet that many scientists themselves tend to be more prone to violence, have higher chances of incarceration, make less money as adults, score lower on IQ tests, and are more susceptible to adult depression.


I hate scientists and case studies. Nothing personal, but most of it is bullsh*& and $$ from govt funding or worse.

If you take a hand full of people and do a study, it doesn't mean the entire world is part of this investigation.

If I took a poll here on DHP and asked who got their asses whipped when they were children, I guarantee most would respond yes and for a fact there are brilliant people on this site.

I really think we need to leave Science and Doctors out of equations.

My Son suffers from allergies and doctors said he needs singular, well guess what, singular has been linked to issues just like the rest of the medicines ..not to mention side effects. Meanwhile I started him with the singular and it created problems. I took him off it and he hasn't been sick since..really. Not even a mild cold. They also suggested certain prescription vitamins well his friends take them and they are always sick. He doesn't take them and not even a sniffle.

I would be more comfortable if you mentioned a parent ("I know here he goes again"), or at least someone not remotely involved with the shady medical field. Someone who actually cares and has possibly been through it.

I personally hate violence, scored pretty high, grad college, never went to jail, make a very good salary, yadda yadda yadda. Depressed Hahh!! I don't think so.


JMO


Screw Science and theory.



This response is moronic.

Your anecdotal evidence about spanking is just as pointless as Jimmy's (which was what was being derided when I responded). Looking at trends across large populations is much more relevent.

Your anecdotal story about your GP is totally unrelated to this topic.

Your "screw science" cries are juvenile and merely a result of actual facts being in opposition to your strongly held opinions. (And "theories" have nothing to do with this. All the things I mentioned have had rigorous case studies done.)

The only reason to spank is because parents are too stupid to implement more effective corrections. Most parents have no clue about modifying behavior aside from what they see around them and what their parents did to them. (God forbid somebody actually reads some serious books.)

I cannot comprehend why you people are so passionate and defensive about spanking your kids in these conversations. And honestly, I couldn't care less if you smack your kid every now and again. There are bigger problems in the world, and you are welcome to parent however you want to within the confines of the law. I wish you the best of luck.

But don't come here asking advice about the pluses and minuses of corporal punishment, then get your panties in a twist when people offer you facts and opinions you don't like.

[Mack-Williams]

Every child is different when it comes to discipline. Sometimes talking and a punishment works and sometimes a ass whooping is needed.

[TAB.]

dude, she is three...

And still alive. Now, 6, she waits for me at intersections. My nephew, ran from his mom, and got creamed by a car, when he was 4. He darted directly into an oncoming vehicle, thinking it was funny to run from his mom. He wasn't seriously injured, but that event, obviously, has always stayed with me.

I rarely spank my kids for discipline. Depriving them of what they like, usually brings them in line. But when they endanger themselves, or each other- timeouts and sitdowns, don't seem to drive home the point about safety.

[Moksha]

And still alive. Now, 6, she waits for me at intersections. My nephew, ran from his mom, and got creamed by a car, when he was 4. He darted directly into an oncoming vehicle, thinking it was funny to run from his mom. He wasn't seriously injured, but that event, obviously, has always stayed with me.

I rarely spank my kids for discipline. Depriving them of what they like, usually brings them in line. But when they endanger themselves, or each other- timeouts and sitdowns, don't seem to drive home the point about safety.

So, kids that don't get spanked get hit by cars? There was NO other way in the world to teach your daughter safety?

Seriously... these anecdotal arguments are ridiculous.

[Moksha]

Every child is different when it comes to discipline. Sometimes talking and a punishment works and sometimes a ass whooping is needed.

Yes, all children are different. However, there isn't a single child out there who cannot have their behavior modified (more effectively) through non-physical means.

[TAB.]

So, kids that don't get spanked get hit by cars? There was NO other way in the world to teach your daughter safety?

Seriously... these anecdotal arguments are ridiculous.
If you read my original post, I stated what was tried in regard to teaching her safety. If, as MHD, stated, she's only three, she probably couldn't grasp the danger she was in, anyway. But she did comprehend, that it was wrong not to listen to her dad. That, alone, would keep her safe.

[Moksha]

If you read my original post, I stated what was tried in regard to teaching her safety. If, as MHD, stated, she's only three, she probably couldn't grasp the danger she was in, anyway. But she did comprehend, that it was wrong not to listen to her dad. That, alone, would keep her safe.

Post hoc ergo propter hoc

[Phyllis Hyman Cherry]

Guys,i think we are overlooking verbal abuse.Out of all the beatings i recieved the scars from the verbal abuse still show after all these years.When you have grown people telling you,you wont amount to shit you are nothing,you tend to believe that.This is why some of us have turned to drugs,promiscuity,and other modes of self destruction in the past as a coping mechanism.You just have to keep telling yourself in spite of it all,im still here!

[mhd]

And still alive. Now, 6, she waits for me at intersections. My nephew, ran from his mom, and got creamed by a car, when he was 4. He darted directly into an oncoming vehicle, thinking it was funny to run from his mom. He wasn't seriously injured, but that event, obviously, has always stayed with me.

I rarely spank my kids for discipline. Depriving them of what they like, usually brings them in line. But when they endanger themselves, or each other- timeouts and sitdowns, don't seem to drive home the point about safety.

lol, how about holding her hand when you are walking down the street?

[Mack-Williams]

Yes, all children are different. However, there isn't a single child out there who cannot have their behavior modified (more effectively) through non-physical means.

I would disagree with that. I had a three time rule with my children. Meaning I am only going to tell you three times not to do something before I get my belt. Disrespecting me and other adults, there is no three times rule, that is and instant punishment and ass whooping.

[mhd]

tab, seriously, ever read a book on child behavior, or talk to a professional in that area, or articles, etc., in your own post you cited how you did not understand at the time why things were done, but later you figured it out, you may want your kid to respond to voice commmands, but, that is just not reliable with a kid that age, so, eliminate the need for her to be controlled remotely by keeping her close in potentially dangerous situations, your alternative is for her to respond with fear to the sound of your angry, commanding voice and to stop immediately or face the fear of physical harm, so you have given her verbal abuse, the thought of physical violence, actual physical violence, and the memory of physical violence, all from the most important male figure she will ever know...

[mhd]

I would disagree with that. I had a three time rule with my children. Meaning I am only going to tell you three times not to do something before I get my belt. Disrespecting me and other adults, there is no three times rule, that is and instant punishment and ass whooping.

how old were the kids?

[OneMasterMixer]

Your anecdotal evidence about spanking is just as pointless as Jimmy's (which was what was being derided when I responded). Looking at trends across large populations is much more relevent.

Response - Yeah to a scientist like you I guess so.

Your anecdotal story about your GP is totally unrelated to this topic.

Response - I won't bother with this because I am so juvenile

Your "screw science" cries are juvenile and merely a result of actual facts being in opposition to your strongly held opinions. (And "theories" have nothing to do with this. All the things I mentioned have had rigorous case studies done.)

Response - Like I said you must be a scientist or stuck on science.

Real world must suck in your opinion.


The only reason to spank is because parents are too stupid to implement more effective corrections. Most parents have no clue about modifying behavior aside from what they see around them and what their parents did to them. (God forbid somebody actually reads some serious books.)


Response - Obviously someone needed a spanking when they were a child because of your rude behavior,wanting to be right and a know it all. You should know that all children are not the same. Dr Suess is not a serious book

I cannot comprehend why you people are so passionate and defensive about spanking your kids in these conversations. And honestly, I couldn't care less if you smack your kid every now and again. There are bigger problems in the world, and you are welcome to parent however you want to within the confines of the law. I wish you the best of luck.

Response - I agree there are much bigger problems in the world and they start out with sentences like "you people". If you don't care about what we do, then why respond in such a negative manner after all aren't you the one against anger?
Thank you for letting us be parents to our children we are ever so grateful that you let us do that. I thought you were a scientist now you are judge?

But don't come here asking advice about the pluses and minuses of corporal punishment, then get your panties in a twist when people offer you facts and opinions you don't like.

I am not sure why you keep referring to corporal punishment like is was beat into your head by a scientist and I wear a thong thank you very much.


Thanks for the adolecent rant, meet you in the sand box at 3pm.

Have a nice day

[TAB.]

lol, how about holding her hand when you are walking down the street? Or how about not taking her out at all? This is in regard to giving them that intial freedom, to walk by themselves. You know, when they insist on not wanting your hand. Believe me, there were times I put up with a tantrum, because I wouldn't let her walk by herself, or just turned around and took her home. Various methods, to get the point across. None of em did, though.

[Moksha]

I am not sure why you keep referring to corporal punishment like is was beat into your head by a scientist and I wear a thong thank you very much.


Thanks for the adolecent rant, meet you in the sand box at 3pm.

Have a nice day

Protip: adolescent

[D J 1 3 8]

the saddest part of this thread is seeing so many victims of violence repeat the absurd premise that violence = love.

Violence = love

repeat that a few times and see if it still makes sense

props to those with the patience to at least try to educate folks

[mhd]

Or how about not taking her out at all? This is in regard to giving them that intial freedom, to walk by themselves. You know, when they insist on not wanting your hand. Believe me, there were times I put up with a tantrum, because I wouldn't let her walk by herself, or just turned around and took her home. Various methods, to get the point across. None of em did, though.

i hear you, but that is the point, you can't get the point across at that age, the most you can hope for is to establish a pattern that they recognize, enjoy and follow, and that is the challenge of parenting, moving through the various stages with patience and trying to see the world through the eyes of a child, its challenging, but, the good thing is it only lasts a brief moment and then its something else. kids want to run by themselves, but they can't in some places and they can in others, as parents you have to choose the spots and not resort to spankings instead of safety, that ruins the experience for everybody

[OneMasterMixer]

Guys,i think we are overlooking verbal abuse.Out of all the beatings i recieved the scars from the verbal abuse still show after all these years.When you have grown people telling you,you wont amount to shit you are nothing,you tend to believe that.This is why some of us have turned to drugs,promiscuity,and other modes of self destruction in the past as a coping mechanism.You just have to keep telling yourself in spite of it all,im still here!


I totally agree with this!!!

[jimmymack-2000]

the saddest part of this thread is seeing so many victims of violence repeat the absurd premise that violence = love.

Violence = love

repeat that a few times and see if it still makes sense

props to those with the patience to at least try to educate folks

Well, you can't spell "love" without the letters in "violence"...

[OneMasterMixer]

Well, you can't spell "love" without the letters in "violence"...


:lol:

[Fletch]

spanking is a short cut that does not work long term, time, effort and some focus does

I know I'm goin' here, but......

I saw this documentary a long time ago, and from it, I got the impression that Ewings were tough Jamaican parents who took no shit! In fact, looked like Mrs. Ewing was gonna kick Big Joh's ass if he steered her son Patrick wrong. I also got the impression that going pro would've been met with parental fierceness! How correct is this?

Just askin'........

[mhd]

I know I'm goin' here, but......

I saw this documentary a long time ago, and from it, I got the impression that Ewings were tough Jamaican parents who took no shit! In fact, looked like Mrs. Ewing was gonna kick Big Joh's ass if he steered her son Patrick wrong. I also got the impression that going pro would've been met with parental fierceness! How correct is this?

Just askin'........

mom passed while he was still there... so, lets just say it was in everybody's best interest to stay, didn't hurt his pockets none, i would say

[MYOR]

the saddest part of this thread is seeing so many victims of violence repeat the absurd premise that violence = love.

Violence = love

repeat that a few times and see if it still makes sense

props to those with the patience to at least try to educate folks
Love hurts...

[Moksha]

Love hurts...

Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds, and mars any heart
Not tough or stong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud, holds a lot of rain
Love hurts......ooh, ooh love hurts

Im young , I know, but even so
I know a thing or two, and I learned from you
I really learned a lot, really learned a lot
Love is like a flame, it burns you when its hot
Love hurts......ooh, ooh love hurts

Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess
Theyre not foolin me

I know it isnt true ,i know it isnt true
Love is just a lie, made to make you blue
Love hurts......
Ooh, ooh love hurts,ooh, ooh love hurts

I know it isnt true, I know it isnt true
Love is just a lie,made to make you blue
Love hurts......
Ooh, ooh love hurts, ooh, ooh love hurts

[OneMasterMixer]

Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds, and mars any heart
Not tough or stong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud, holds a lot of rain
Love hurts......ooh, ooh love hurts

Im young , I know, but even so
I know a thing or two, and I learned from you
I really learned a lot, really learned a lot
Love is like a flame, it burns you when its hot
Love hurts......ooh, ooh love hurts

Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess
Theyre not foolin me

I know it isnt true ,i know it isnt true
Love is just a lie, made to make you blue
Love hurts......
Ooh, ooh love hurts,ooh, ooh love hurts

I know it isnt true, I know it isnt true
Love is just a lie,made to make you blue
Love hurts......
Ooh, ooh love hurts, ooh, ooh love hurts

:rofl5::rofl5::rofl5:

[Friday]

:zzwhip: bring me your children....

[MYOR]

:zzwhip: bring me your children....

Um the guys would probably just come in solo..

[Friday]

Um the guys would probably just come in solo..

ew! :shudder: