Would you adopt a child..why or why not?

[OneMasterMixer]

This topic came up because I know someone who just adopted a kid from China.

Why did they get a baby from China you ask? Well I will tell you.

Are you aware that if you adopt here in the US, the child can be taken back at anytime due to circumstances such as Mother has cleaned up her act....etc.

In China once you have gone through the rigerous procedure the child is yours for life (well unless ACS has issues with you).

So I propose the question of the day..

Would you adopt, if so would you adopt from another country (stay with me on this) and what country? If not...Why not?

Inquiring minds want to know

Adoption facts
http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/adoption_485.html
http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/info/info_458.html

[panklady]

The only way I'd consider having a child is through adoption. I have both personal & selfish reasons for doing so. In addition, there are so many children out there who are in need of a loving home & some stability ('round here)...

For me, I'm not crossing borders to do this...we have enough right in our 'backyard'.

Once things settle down for me...I might just do this. If it gets good to me...I might consider more than one. :)

[OneMasterMixer]

The only way I'd consider having a child is through adoption. I have both personal & selfish reasons for doing so. In addition, there are so many children out there who are in need of a loving home & some stability ('round here)...

For me, I'm not crossing borders to do this...we have enough right in our 'backyard'.

Once things settle down for me...I might just do this. If it gets good to me...I might consider more than one. :)

Wishing you the very best :-)

[mhd]

complex issue, not nearly as simple as you suggest, for all parities

[MarkK]

My wife and I are thinking of it, in additon to genetic ones. Foreign is fine with us.

[mhd]

My wife and I are thinking of it, in additon to genetic ones. Foreign is fine with us.

best of luck to both of you, much respect

[Mr.I]

I knew this chick who didn't find out she was adopted until she was an adult when she recieved a phone call from a woman claiming to be her bioligical mother. When she confronted her adoptive parents they denied it at first, then broke down and told her it was true. Totally blew her mind. Now her and her bioligical mother are best freinds.

[Discogoddess]

...Are you aware that if you adopt here in the US, the child can be taken back at anytime due to circumstances such as Mother has cleaned up her act....etc.

In what state? In Illinois, once parental rights are terminated, that's it.

To answer the question, yes, I would adopt, though I'd probably stay stateside (as there are tons of black kids in the system whom no one seems to want). Whenever I thought about having kids, I always figured I'd have twins (they run in the family) and adopt one. So far, no twins, but I'm def. still up for adopting.

[OneMasterMixer]

I knew this chick who didn't find out she was adopted until she was an adult when she recieved a phone call from a woman claiming to be her bioligical mother. When she confronted her adoptive parents they denied it at first, then broke down and told her it was true. Totally blew her mind. Now her and her bioligical mother are best freinds.

I have to tell you that is a very touching story. It could have gone another way and become something very angry, but maybe because of the way the adopted parents and biological mother handled it, she had an appreciation.

Wonderful Story
:thumbsup:

[kara]

i'm looking into adoption (for 4-5 years from now) and am fine with either an open or closed adoption.

i can understand how if a woman gave her child up, she may want to know how the child is doing, and sometimes see her. i see that as the ideal relationship. i was asked if it was a closed adoption what i would do if the birth mother somehow found and contacted me and i said i would consider fostering a relationship between the birth mother and child, as long as i believed she wouldnt fuck the child up due to instability or something.

i think it'll be hard enough to do a good job raising a child who's american, i'm not even considering foreign born.

also, i prefer one who's the same race as me. again, due to how difficult it will be. i'm open to one of different race or religion, but i think it would be most ideal if they're the same as me. i'd need all the help i can get to do a good job, and having the same background would just be that much easier a head start.

just my opinion.

(because i would like to adopt someone who's white (and ideally jewish) they suggested i put my name on now, it'd take that long to get one. LOL)

[kara]

by the way, i was just reading something the other day about foreign adoptions, and it said that some regulations were changing - so countries where americans used to commonly adopt from, we'll see less coming from those, whereas countries we rarely could adopt from, now we'll see more kids arriving.

i forget the reason/regulation/change in rules that's making these shifts happen, but it's pretty recent

[Mr.I]

I have to tell you that is a very touching story. It could have gone another way and become something very angry, but maybe because of the way the adopted parents and biological mother handled it, she had an appreciation.

Wonderful Story
:thumbsup:

There was some anger involved.. at first the girl was angry at her adoptive parents for not telling her all those years - then the adoptive parents were REALLY angry at the bioligical mother for contacting the girl in the first place and for letting the cat out of the bag.

[mhd]

There was some anger involved.. at first the girl was angry at her adoptive parents for not telling her all those years - then the adoptive parents were REALLY angry at the bioligical mother for contacting the girl in the first place and for letting the cat out of the bag.

lol, i knew the story was way more complex than your first post...

[darrow]

Are you aware that if you adopt here in the US, the child can be taken back at anytime due to circumstances such as Mother has cleaned up her act....etc.



This is not true.

[OneMasterMixer]

This is not true.


Actually yes it is depending on the state.

[Discogoddess]

Actually yes it is depending on the state.

Like I asked before, what state(s)? If this is the case, it would seem to me that very few people would want to adopt in those areas.

[OneMasterMixer]

This is not true.


Here is a quick read

http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0044-0094%28195204%2961%3A4%3C591%3AAOADBN%3E2.0.CO%3B2-Y&size=LARGE&origin=JSTOR-enlargePage

[OneMasterMixer]

I was refering to open Adoption which, generally means that the bio parents can keep in touch with the child through the adoption agency and have rights to regain the child if a court of law sees that they are fit. The only states that I would be familiar with would be New York and New Jersey and that is from what I am told.

[darrow]

Here is a quick read

http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0044-0094%28195204%2961%3A4%3C591%3AAOADBN%3E2.0.CO%3B2-Y&size=LARGE&origin=JSTOR-enlargePage

You do see the citation dates of those sources, right?

I think you'll find it extremely unlikely that courts would reverse a legal, procedurally sound adoption. I think it's likely that you'll find instances of biological parents challenging the Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) BEFORE the adoption is finalized or perhaps during the very early stages of an adoption process. But having the rights to challenge and adoption doesn't mean the adoption gets reversed.

What probably happens more often (though I don't know rates) is adoption dissolution where the adoptive parents decided to dissolve the adoption.

[Detroitbootybass]

I'd certainly be willing to adopt... and I wouldn't care where the child came from (though legal difficulties might be a factor into the country/state from which the adoption would take place).

[darrow]

I was refering to open Adoption which, generally means that the bio parents can keep in touch with the child through the adoption agency and have rights to regain the child if a court of law sees that they are fit. The only states that I would be familiar with would be New York and New Jersey and that is from what I am told.

Open Adoption takes on many different forms, but in general it means that the biological parent(s) and adoptive parent(s) know each other's identities. And generally, there is some agreement between the two parties regarding visitations, updates, and the role (if any) the biological parents will have in the child's life. The on-going contact does not have to take place through an agency.

The notion that the parents can "regain the child" is not specific to or inherent in open adoption.

Typically, in most adoption proceedings whether they be private adoptions (both open and closed) or public (ex. through a county's social service agency), there is a period after the adoption when the parents can contest the adoption. New York for example gives biological parents substantially more time than here in Baltimore. I don't remember exact time frames.

[darrow]

...

Would you adopt, if so would you adopt from another country (stay with me on this) and what country? If not...Why not?

Inquiring minds want to know

Adoption facts
http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/adoption_485.html
http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/info/info_458.html

Yes, I would adopt and in fact my partner and I are fostering a little one now and have been doing so since he arrived in October (9 months old at the time) via the local social services agency. If the courts do see fit to make him available for adoption (by terminating the parents rights), we will definitely adopt him. Unfortunately, the process is complicated, stressful and long. It could be late 2009 or even 2010 before the courts determine the permanency plan for him.

We considered international adoption over domestic adoption but only briefly. There are enough kids (particularly non-white/non-asian kids) in the US system that it didn't seem necessary to warrant going to another country.

[OneMasterMixer]

Yes, I would adopt and in fact my partner and I are fostering a little one now and have been doing so since he arrived in October (9 months old at the time) via the local social services agency. If the courts do see fit to make him available for adoption (by terminating the parents rights), we will definitely adopt him. Unfortunately, the process is complicated, stressful and long. It could be late 2009 or even 2010 before the courts determine the permanency plan for him.

We considered international adoption over domestic adoption but only briefly. There are enough kids (particularly non-white/non-asian kids) in the US system that it didn't seem necessary to warrant going to another country.

Thank you Darrow for clearing that up for me.

[MusicFilter]

Adoption is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get. I know this because a very close member of my family is adopted and certain behaviors and characteristics began to show themselves that had nothing to do with the way my family raised this person.

I wouldn't adopt unless it were a close friend who needed me to if they knew they were dying or something like that. I think it's hard enough raising your own.

[Leslie]

Yes, I would adopt and in fact my partner and I are fostering a little one now and have been doing so since he arrived in October (9 months old at the time) via the local social services agency. If the courts do see fit to make him available for adoption (by terminating the parents rights), we will definitely adopt him. Unfortunately, the process is complicated, stressful and long. It could be late 2009 or even 2010 before the courts determine the permanency plan for him.

We considered international adoption over domestic adoption but only briefly. There are enough kids (particularly non-white/non-asian kids) in the US system that it didn't seem necessary to warrant going to another country.

Which BTW you owe me updated pictures Mr. Darrow!

[OneMasterMixer]

Yes, I would adopt and in fact my partner and I are fostering a little one now and have been doing so since he arrived in October (9 months old at the time) via the local social services agency. If the courts do see fit to make him available for adoption (by terminating the parents rights), we will definitely adopt him. Unfortunately, the process is complicated, stressful and long. It could be late 2009 or even 2010 before the courts determine the permanency plan for him.

We considered international adoption over domestic adoption but only briefly. There are enough kids (particularly non-white/non-asian kids) in the US system that it didn't seem necessary to warrant going to another country.

I wanted to say this earlier but got called into a meeting at work.

I think that it is wonderful that you are working on adoption and wish you the very best and that it all works in your favor.

Blessings

:thumbsup:

[darrow]

Which BTW you owe me updated pictures Mr. Darrow!

Hey, Leslie :)

I've got a few for ya.

[darrow]

I wanted to say this earlier but got called into a meeting at work.

I think that it is wonderful that you are working on adoption and wish you the very best and that it all works in your favor.

Blessings

:thumbsup:

Thanks, OneMasterMixer.

[islandlover]

Yes, I would adopt. I'm giving myself a few more years to "give birth"..LOL. after that time, nothing, then yes, adoption would be considered.

I've thought seriously about adopting for many years. The funny thing is I don't really want a baby. I would love a kid around 5 - 8 years old.