Alanda Marquette from DiscoLadyLand
07-10-2003, 09:35 AM
Ode to the Perfect Man
The perfect man is gentle,
And never cruel or mean.
He has a perfect smile,
And is always neat and clean.
The Perfect Man likes children,
And will raise them by your side.
He will be a caring father,
And good husband to his bride.
The Perfect Man loves cooking,
He will clean and vacuum too.
He'll do what's in his power
To show his deep-felt love for you.
The Perfect Man is sweet,
Writing poems with your name;
He's a best friend to your mother,
And will kiss away your pain.
He never has made you cry
Or caused you hurt in any way.
To hell with this endless poem and rhyme,
The Perfect Man is gay.
***********************************************
Pee On A Ferrari
One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone PISSING on his Ferrari.
"Hey," says the man. "Why are you pissing on my Ferrari?"
"Because I feel like it."
"Tell you what -- I won't report you to the police if you can keep up with my Ferrari."
"Whatever." So the guy gets in his car and drives off, going faster and faster, until he's hit 100 miles per hour. Amazingly, the guy is still keeping up.
"I'm amazed," says the driver. "How are you keeping up?"
"It's easy," says the running man, "when your penis is stuck in the door."
graemlins/rofl.gif
The perfect man is gentle,
And never cruel or mean.
He has a perfect smile,
And is always neat and clean.
The Perfect Man likes children,
And will raise them by your side.
He will be a caring father,
And good husband to his bride.
The Perfect Man loves cooking,
He will clean and vacuum too.
He'll do what's in his power
To show his deep-felt love for you.
The Perfect Man is sweet,
Writing poems with your name;
He's a best friend to your mother,
And will kiss away your pain.
He never has made you cry
Or caused you hurt in any way.
To hell with this endless poem and rhyme,
The Perfect Man is gay.
***********************************************
Pee On A Ferrari
One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone PISSING on his Ferrari.
"Hey," says the man. "Why are you pissing on my Ferrari?"
"Because I feel like it."
"Tell you what -- I won't report you to the police if you can keep up with my Ferrari."
"Whatever." So the guy gets in his car and drives off, going faster and faster, until he's hit 100 miles per hour. Amazingly, the guy is still keeping up.
"I'm amazed," says the driver. "How are you keeping up?"
"It's easy," says the running man, "when your penis is stuck in the door."
graemlins/rofl.gif