Ever had your heart broken?

[Sean G]

What happened and how did you get over it?

[JMNYC]

yeah, got over it... eventually. They say that it takes about half the time of the relationship, but I believe it depends on where you are mentally and spiritually.

It will get better. You deserve to be happy with someone who is happy with you.

Show yourself the love that you deserve. Only then will you find the right person and recognize them, and only then will they recognize you.

All relationships we have in life end because of one of the "3 D's" - Death, Divorce or Desertion. Spend some time taking care of yourself and actively loving yourself - we all deserve it, and spend so much time seeking someone else to give us the love we deserve. Screw that! Love yourself and then next time you're interviewing someone for the position, you'll know exactly what it entails.

Good luck... Sorry to hear you've been hurt.

[kara]

time

[JoeB]

Originally posted by JMNYC:
yeah, got over it... eventually. They say that it takes about half the time of the relationship, but I believe it depends on where you are mentally and spiritually.

It will get better. You deserve to be happy with someone who is happy with you.

Show yourself the love that you deserve. Only then will you find the right person and recognize them, and only then will they recognize you.

All relationships we have in life end because of one of the "3 D's" - Death, Divorce or Desertion. Spend some time taking care of yourself and actively loving yourself - we all deserve it, and spend so much time seeking someone else to give us the love we deserve. Screw that! Love yourself and then next time you're interviewing someone for the position, you'll know exactly what it entails.

BINGO!

[AD]

yes

[soulfabulous]

as above
time is a great healer

[Bold Soul]

I understand heartbreak as the collapse of illusions. In this way, yes. I got over it by facing up to fooling myself - a long and painful process.

[JMNYC]

Originally posted by Bold Soul:
I understand heartbreak as the collapse of illusions. In this way, yes. I got over it by facing up to fooling myself - a long and painful process. My turn to compliment your wise words ;)

[kara]

Originally posted by Bold Soul:
I understand heartbreak as the collapse of illusions. In this way, yes. I got over it by facing up to fooling myself - a long and painful process. damn, that was good

[And]

Originally posted by kara:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Bold Soul:
I understand heartbreak as the collapse of illusions. In this way, yes. I got over it by facing up to fooling myself - a long and painful process. damn, that was good </font>[/QUOTE]Double that damn please.

[Cleo Khary]

Originally posted by JMNYC:
yeah, got over it... eventually. They say that it takes about half the time of the relationship, but I believe it depends on where you are mentally and spiritually.

It will get better. You deserve to be happy with someone who is happy with you.

Show yourself the love that you deserve. Only then will you find the right person and recognize them, and only then will they recognize you.

All relationships we have in life end because of one of the "3 D's" - Death, Divorce or Desertion. Spend some time taking care of yourself and actively loving yourself - we all deserve it, and spend so much time seeking someone else to give us the love we deserve. Screw that! Love yourself and then next time you're interviewing someone for the position, you'll know exactly what it entails.

Good luck... Sorry to hear you've been hurt. Well said JMNYC! graemlins/acclaim.gif

[AD]

Originally posted by 6 23:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by kara:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Bold Soul:
I understand heartbreak as the collapse of illusions. In this way, yes. I got over it by facing up to fooling myself - a long and painful process. damn, that was good </font>[/QUOTE]Double that damn please. </font>[/QUOTE]I triple damn it.

[And]

First I agree that time is the only thing that helps one get better.
My story: I was 24 at the time and about 6-7 months out of a painful experience with a fella. Wasn't looking for anything, was maybe even leaning towards being bitter. I worked at Dulles airport at the time. One day this dude came up to me and started talking. At first I was amused 'cause I thought he was kinda 'nerdy,' but within minutes I wasn't so amused. Dude was cool, interesting, funny, not coming at me sexually but actually interested in me as a person. We spent two weeks together in DC (he lived in Atlanta) and I thought man, this must what a healthy relationship is like. We talked about God, life, work, art, everything you can imagine. Everything except for the fact that he was married. He told me the morning he was leaving DC to go back to Atlanta. :eek:
Story didn't end there ... I had a tough time with this one 'cause over the next 4.5 years we kept in contact. More off than on. We never saw each other again. We tried to a few times but I felt too guilty to go through with it. In my head I tried to justify all the reasons why it was okay for me to still stay friends with him. It hadn't been a sex based relationship, we weren't seeing each other, we could just be friends right?
Here I'm going to touch on the illusion thing Bold Soul wrote. Now the relationship's completely over, I realize how I created/added to/allowed the relationship to continue based on my mental whatever instead of the things I was seeing that were clear indicators of why I shouldn't have been involved with this dude. So maybe I wasn't really in love at all ... Maybe we weren't friends, maybe it was all a figment of my imagination ... Either way ... freakin' illusions. ;)
What helped me heal - facing up to my illusions or having them smack me in the face so hard I had no choice but to correct things and all that only happened over time.

[MyNia]

Originally posted by Bold Soul:
I understand heartbreak as the collapse of illusions. In this way, yes. I got over it by facing up to fooling myself - a long and painful process. so true...

[Fletch]

It took me about two years to clear my head from a relationship break up. That's a long time. I promised myself that it will not take me that long to clear those emotions. I know it's easier said than done.

One of the things that I do is say a prayer:

Dear God, Thank you for the things I have.
Dear God, Thank you for the things I DON'T have.

Peace.

[Mah'chew]

Originally posted by Bold Soul:
I understand heartbreak as the collapse of illusions. In this way, yes. I got over it by facing up to fooling myself - a long and painful process. Word, post of the week!!!

Can we get DJ Spinna to lay some beats & melody down while Boldsoul recites these words Richie Medina style? It's a Deep House winner for sure graemlins/respekt.gif

[DJ RON C]

yeah.

I don't think you can really learn the experience of love without getting your heart broken.

The first time it happened, it shocked the hell out of me because I didn't know what was going on. I was dekcuf up for weeks.

It is good to remember the pain and look at the lessons you learn because of it. It makes you a stronger person. There are too many people that dump or get dumped that don't look at why it happened and the role they played in it. graemlins/cool_shades.gif

[MusicFilter]

Well if pain makes you stronger, I'm freakin' Superman!

My Girl left me a week after my Father passed away 1/20/03 and she was there when he died. She met some dude on the bus coming to see me (when I asked her not to). I wasn't giving her the attention she was use to during the time my father was in the hospital. The pain in tantamount to being kicked in the stomach. I tried being her friend but that only made things worse. It got to the point where she was telling me our friendship was putting her relationship in jeapordy.

As a result I put the tragic loss of my Father and my relationship together. I still hurt sometimes. I'm glad I never saw her or them on the street, because there is no telling what might happen. graemlins/puke.gif I felt betrayed, and used. It will take sometime, but I will get over this.

They say the only way to get over one woman is with another one, it will be a while before I give my heart to someone again. graemlins/jpshakehead.gif

My advice to all, graemlins/nono.gif stay away from women who are named after vegtables (celery) mad1.gif and don't include someone you are involved with for less than two years in very personal family affairs.

And mostly don't get involved with someone you met at church, it will make it hard to go back being reminded of all the heartbreak you went through. graemlins/mecry.gif

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by chgodj3:
Well if pain makes you stronger, I'm freakin' Superman!

My Girl left me a week after my Father passed away 1/20/03 and she was there when he died. She met some dude on the bus coming to see me (when I asked her not to). I wasn't giving her the attention she was use to during the time my father was in the hospital. The pain in tantamount to being kicked in the stomach. I tried being her friend but that only made things worse. It got to the point where she was telling me our friendship was putting her relationship in jeapordy.

As a result I put the tragic loss of my Father and my relationship together. I still hurt sometimes. I'm glad I never saw her or them on the street, because there is no telling what might happen. graemlins/puke.gif I felt betrayed, and used. It will take sometime, but I will get over this.

They say the only way to get over one woman is with another one, it will be a while before I give my heart to someone again. graemlins/jpshakehead.gif

My advice to all, graemlins/nono.gif stay away from women who are named after vegtables (celery) mad1.gif and don't include someone you are involved with for less than two years in very personal family affairs.

And mostly don't get involved with someone you met at church, it will make it hard to go back being reminded of all the heartbreak you went through. graemlins/mecry.gif wow!! :( graemlins/mecry.gif good luck...

[AD]

Originally posted by chgodj3:
Well if pain makes you stronger, I'm freakin' Superman!

My Girl left me a week after my Father passed away 1/20/03 and she was there when he died. She met some dude on the bus coming to see me (when I asked her not to). I wasn't giving her the attention she was use to during the time my father was in the hospital. The pain in tantamount to being kicked in the stomach. I tried being her friend but that only made things worse. It got to the point where she was telling me our friendship was putting her relationship in jeapordy.

As a result I put the tragic loss of my Father and my relationship together. I still hurt sometimes. I'm glad I never saw her or them on the street, because there is no telling what might happen. graemlins/puke.gif I felt betrayed, and used. It will take sometime, but I will get over this.

They say the only way to get over one woman is with another one, it will be a while before I give my heart to someone again. graemlins/jpshakehead.gif

My advice to all, graemlins/nono.gif stay away from women who are named after vegtables (celery) mad1.gif and don't include someone you are involved with for less than two years in very personal family affairs.

And mostly don't get involved with someone you met at church, it will make it hard to go back being reminded of all the heartbreak you went through. graemlins/mecry.gif I feel for you man. My girl left me right before my birthday and right when I ran out of money and my credit took a dumper. Just pray a lot and give your worries to God. It helped me. I thought drinking would help me, but it didn't. Give more and expect less. The Lord works in mysterious ways and he will take care of you. Cheer up! ;)

[MusicFilter]

Thanks Ashaki and Albert.

I'm doing much better, the pain has subsided a little through prayer, good friends, family and absolutely no contact with her. The anger is still there and I pray that leaves soon. Life goes on.

[socratez]

I had my heart broken 5 years ago, i still havent found a new love. I think my heart is broken permanently.

Btw has anyone seen that sketch of Richard Pryor about broken hears?? That was one the best parts ive ever seen of a comedient.

[Jamie 3:26]

Hoestly,I don't even get all heads over heels for anyone.I have not been like that in ages over someone.I have matured and realized that there's a fine line between love and lust.There is also the issue of what one defines as love and being in love.

I love my wife,yet,I do not think I would ever fall in love again.I'm not angry,not bitter,I just look at things differently now and what I equated with being in love was more like dependancy.I do not want to be like that ever again.

[AD]

Originally posted by chgodj3:
Thanks Ashaki and Albert.

I'm doing much better, the pain has subsided a little through prayer, good friends, family and absolutely no contact with her. The anger is still there and I pray that leaves soon. Life goes on. Dude, let that hatred go cause you're really just hurting yourself. It's been almost a year since I broke up with my girl and I did have anger and hatred for the longest time until a couple of months ago. When I realized that, I thought to myself that maybe God put her in my life for a reason--to get closer to him. She, as well as her family was very religious and I learned a lot from it. I still pray for her and her family every night and I even pray to her grandmother that passed away about a year and a half ago. I still keep in touch with her father through email too. I used to go to church so much more because of her and I think of it as a blessing that the Lord put in my life. Just know that the Lord will take care of you and he wouldn't want you to have that hate inside you. Do you think he wants you to suffer in pain? Of course not. I know it's hard to let it go, but do it for yourself and most importantly do it for God. Trust me, I couldn't let it go for the longest time either, but time does heal wounds and eventually you come around to feel better because it's not the end of the world (even if it does feel that way). Even though the scars will still be there and you'll remember where you got those scars from, just know that you are healed. Take care and give up your worries to God.

[ May 27, 2003, 12:03 PM: Message edited by: Albert D. ]

[socratez]

Im a very passionate man by nature, but the only thing i can put all my love and passion to is MUSIC and not women. I think thats because many woman dissapointed me in my life, and music was always there for me to comfort me.

I still hope i will ever experience the sweet sensation of being in love before i die.


Originally posted by JAMIE 3:26:
Hoestly,I don't even get all heads over heels for anyone.I have not been like that in ages over someone.I have matured and realized that there's a fine line between love and lust.There is also the issue of what one defines as love and being in love.

I love my wife,yet,I do not think I would ever fall in love again.I'm not angry,not bitter,I just look at things differently now and what I equated with being in love was more like dependancy.I do not want to be like that ever again.

[Jolyon]

No contact is the golden rule. Then time. We've all been there I'm sure. You'll be OK and find someone more suitable in time. Good luck smile.gif

[MusicFilter]

Originally posted by Albert D.:
Take care and give up your worries to God. [/QB]Thanks again Albert. I've given my worries to GOD, and it has only been him that has kept our paths from crossing.

I have to say that through all this pain and loss that music has always been there. I believe GOD makes his pressence known to me through music. It has sustained me all these years and has been a friend and comforter to me without question.

[AD]

Originally posted by chgodj3:

I have to say that through all this pain and loss that music has always been there. I believe GOD makes his pressence known to me through music. It has sustained me all these years and has been a friend and comforter to me without question. I feel the EXACT same way. It kept me out of trouble when I was younger and it was therapy for me when I got older and feelings of sadness and/or depression would kick in. Music has been a big help for me. take care.

[MusicFilter]

I'm not angry,not bitter,I just look at things differently now and what I equated with being in love was more like dependancy.I do not want to be like that ever again. [/QB][/QUOTE]

I feel ya buddy. I don't think I will ever be in love again, then again maybe I wasn't in love in the first place, but one would think this person would have still been there to help me grieve.

They say what goes around comes around, I hope it comes around for her soon. You just don't do people like that!

A woman once told me, "Every woman doesn't deserve to be treated like a queen" Now I know what she meant. I don't think I will ever be head over heals for anyone either.

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by chgodj3:
I'm not angry,not bitter,I just look at things differently now and what I equated with being in love was more like dependancy.I do not want to be like that ever again. I feel ya buddy. I don't think I will ever be in love again, then again maybe I wasn't in love in the first place, but one would think this person would have still been there to help me grieve.

They say what goes around comes around, I hope it comes around for her soon. You just don't do people like that!

A woman once told me, "Every woman doesn't deserve to be treated like a queen" Now I know what she meant. I don't think I will ever be head over heals for anyone either. [/QB][/QUOTE]

If you need some therapy....let me know...i'll give you a dhp discount.... biggrinangel.gif You'll meet a fabulous woman and you will love again....you just have to let go of your issues and baggage...it may take time...take time for yourself...enjoy and love yourself...

peace

[Bold Soul]

I have to risk stepping on some toes in order to provide a perspective on this that I consider valuable. Please know I am coming from a state of truth and compassion.
_______________

Love and endearment are two different things.

LOVE extends from self - the extension of self in the direction of another. Love is ACTUAL and demonstrated in your feelings for parents, offspring and siblings. It doesn't require input. It is complete PROVISION - where the only desire one has is to open the self to another and offer and accept all things. It is difficult and painful to develop and the state of the environment in which we must exist presents the most extreme challenges to its maintenance.

It may last for as long as one lives, as with the bond with mothers and daughters; fathers and sons. It may last for two weeks, as with 6 23's wonderful experience. It thrives in freedom and is protected by courage. You find it on the edge of your own doubts. You must walk through the fire of your own fear to find it.

Growth comes from love. This is its indicator and its evidence. Love is its own reward. Love is its own God - it does not require the intervention or blessing of another. Love is absolute.

ENDEARMENT is what most experience and what most of the responses to the thread are about. The pleasure of the satisfaction of your expectations produces endearment.

Over time, you are conditioned by the pleasure of this satisfaction and the cycle of expectation and satisfaction continues. This is the anthesis to love - it is CONSUMPTION. Even if your gestures come first, you are preparing the way for your receipt of satisfaction.

Breaking up and making up is the RESETTING of the endearment dynamic. "Maybe we just need some time apart" or "I don't think this is working out anymore" - take your pick. They are all indicative of a expectation/consumption dynamic.

Heartbreak comes from the abrupt disconnection of your source of satisfaction. There was no love - there was only dependency and the anger that you must now kick your habit.

God does not fix such things. Courage does.

[HML]

Originally posted by Sean G:
What happened and how did you get over it? I dated a girl in high school who rocked my phuckin' world. The earth revolved around her and I THOUGHT we truly loved one another. :rolleyes: She broke up with me and left me a basket case. Then, a few months later, the heartless wench showed up at my biggest wrestling match of the season, looking fine as all hell, making all buddy-buddy with my mom. So what'd my dumb-ass do?!? You guessed it, I got back together with this soul-less creature. http://deephousepage.com/smilies/conf45.gif Several months later, just before she left for college, she dumped me, AGAIN!!! mad1.gif Geesh!! How clueless was I?!? graemlins/jpshakehead.gif

-HML

[Oak Pk, IL's Best Bedroom DJ, serge]

Yeah, I've had my heart broken...

My cat Gina died a year ago. I tried not to cry, and I thought, "It was only an animal."

My brothers and I grew up with that animal.

Sade once asked, "Did you ever see a man break down?"

Well, it's not a pretty thing to see your pal Serge shed a tear.

When I get to drinkin with my homies in mom's backyard, I spill a little Amstel Light, drop a Tender Vittle (her favorite cat food), and shed a tear over her grave next to my mom's flower bed....

My advice: Don't get animals as pets.

Get a pet rock instead. graemlins/jpshakehead.gif

[ May 27, 2003, 01:09 PM: Message edited by: serge ]

[Oak Pk, IL's Best Bedroom DJ, serge]

[ May 27, 2003, 01:07 PM: Message edited by: serge ]

[MC]

I've broken some hearts, but I did have my broken in the 11th grade. Time and no contact was the key for getting over her, for me.

[Sean G]

Thanks guys.....your stories and advice have really helped me visualize a better ME without her in my life. ;)

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by Bold Soul:
I have to risk stepping on some toes in order to provide a perspective on this that I consider valuable. Please know I am coming from a state of truth and compassion.
_______________

Love and endearment are two different things.

LOVE extends from self - the extension of self in the direction of another. Love is ACTUAL and demonstrated in your feelings for parents, offspring and siblings. It doesn't require input. It is complete PROVISION - where the only desire one has is to open the self to another and offer and accept all things. It is difficult and painful to develop and the state of the environment in which we must exist presents the most extreme challenges to its maintenance.

It may last for as long as one lives, as with the bond with mothers and daughters; fathers and sons. It may last for two weeks, as with 6 23's wonderful experience. It thrives in freedom and is protected by courage. You find it on the edge of your own doubts. You must walk through the fire of your own fear to find it.

Growth comes from love. This is its indicator and its evidence. Love is its own reward. Love is its own God - it does not require the intervention or blessing of another. Love is absolute.

ENDEARMENT is what most experience and what most of the responses to the thread are about. The pleasure of the satisfaction of your expectations produces endearment.

Over time, you are conditioned by the pleasure of this satisfaction and the cycle of expectation and satisfaction continues. This is the anthesis to love - it is CONSUMPTION. Even if your gestures come first, you are preparing the way for your receipt of satisfaction.

Breaking up and making up is the RESETTING of the endearment dynamic. "Maybe we just need some time apart" or "I don't think this is working out anymore" - take your pick. They are all indicative of a expectation/consumption dynamic.

Heartbreak comes from the abrupt disconnection of your source of satisfaction. There was no love - there was only dependency and the anger that you must now kick your habit.

God does not fix such things. Courage does.
WOW!! hail.gif

[MusicFilter]

Originally posted by Bold Soul:
I have to risk stepping on some toes in order to provide a perspective on this that I consider valuable. Please know I am coming from a state of truth and compassion.
_______________

Love and endearment are two different things.

LOVE extends from self - the extension of self in the direction of another. Love is ACTUAL and demonstrated in your feelings for parents, offspring and siblings. It doesn't require input. It is complete PROVISION - where the only desire one has is to open the self to another and offer and accept all things. It is difficult and painful to develop and the state of the environment in which we must exist presents the most extreme challenges to its maintenance.

It may last for as long as one lives, as with the bond with mothers and daughters; fathers and sons. It may last for two weeks, as with 6 23's wonderful experience. It thrives in freedom and is protected by courage. You find it on the edge of your own doubts. You must walk through the fire of your own fear to find it.

Growth comes from love. This is its indicator and its evidence. Love is its own reward. Love is its own God - it does not require the intervention or blessing of another. Love is absolute.

ENDEARMENT is what most experience and what most of the responses to the thread are about. The pleasure of the satisfaction of your expectations produces endearment.

Over time, you are conditioned by the pleasure of this satisfaction and the cycle of expectation and satisfaction continues. This is the anthesis to love - it is CONSUMPTION. Even if your gestures come first, you are preparing the way for your receipt of satisfaction.

Breaking up and making up is the RESETTING of the endearment dynamic. "Maybe we just need some time apart" or "I don't think this is working out anymore" - take your pick. They are all indicative of a expectation/consumption dynamic.

Heartbreak comes from the abrupt disconnection of your source of satisfaction. There was no love - there was only dependency and the anger that you must now kick your habit.

God does not fix such things. Courage does. Wow!!! Did you come up with this yourself or is this from a book you read. If this is from you hail.gif
Part of this I agree with, but I understand and accept all of it.

You are right about dependency, but why go through death alone??? I thought she would be there during the process. Instead she pursued someone who she thought would give her the attention I couldn't because I was dealing with the biggest loss in my life.

My friends say she should get the C#NT of THE YEAR Award for what she did. mad1.gif

SO is that you or the words of another :rolleyes:

[Pete Nice]

yes.... now i'm damaged goods. jaded bitter and all that other angst. then i did the heartbreaking. now my girlfriend is a bottle of vodka..... j/k. but i have no plans of trying anytime soon. and that heartbreak was about 10 years ago. it's all been downhill ever since. good luck...

[Bold Soul]

Originally posted by chgodj3:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Bold Soul:
I have to risk stepping on some toes in order to provide a perspective on this that I consider valuable. Please know I am coming from a state of truth and compassion.
_______________

Love and endearment are two different things.

LOVE extends from self - the extension of self in the direction of another. Love is ACTUAL and demonstrated in your feelings for parents, offspring and siblings. It doesn't require input. It is complete PROVISION - where the only desire one has is to open the self to another and offer and accept all things. It is difficult and painful to develop and the state of the environment in which we must exist presents the most extreme challenges to its maintenance.

It may last for as long as one lives, as with the bond with mothers and daughters; fathers and sons. It may last for two weeks, as with 6 23's wonderful experience. It thrives in freedom and is protected by courage. You find it on the edge of your own doubts. You must walk through the fire of your own fear to find it.

Growth comes from love. This is its indicator and its evidence. Love is its own reward. Love is its own God - it does not require the intervention or blessing of another. Love is absolute.

ENDEARMENT is what most experience and what most of the responses to the thread are about. The pleasure of the satisfaction of your expectations produces endearment.

Over time, you are conditioned by the pleasure of this satisfaction and the cycle of expectation and satisfaction continues. This is the anthesis to love - it is CONSUMPTION. Even if your gestures come first, you are preparing the way for your receipt of satisfaction.

Breaking up and making up is the RESETTING of the endearment dynamic. "Maybe we just need some time apart" or "I don't think this is working out anymore" - take your pick. They are all indicative of a expectation/consumption dynamic.

Heartbreak comes from the abrupt disconnection of your source of satisfaction. There was no love - there was only dependency and the anger that you must now kick your habit.

God does not fix such things. Courage does. Wow!!! Did you come up with this yourself or is this from a book you read. If this is from you hail.gif
Part of this I agree with, but I understand and accept all of it.

You are right about dependency, but why go through death alone??? I thought she would be there during the process. Instead she pursued someone who she thought would give her the attention I couldn't because I was dealing with the biggest loss in my life.

My friends say she should get the C#NT of THE YEAR Award for what she did. mad1.gif

SO is that you or the words of another :rolleyes: </font>[/QUOTE]These are my observations and experiences and my own words - though I am certain these ideas can be found elsewhere. Thanks for the well wishes, but they are unnecessary. We're all stuck in this life without a user's manual, right?

chgodj3 - think about your own words for a moment. You "thought she would be there". Why? Because it is what you would have done? What your mother would have done? What people in the movies and television shows do?

Her choice didn't fit in with your ideal and expectation. She obviously required something for her own satisfaction and went elsewhere to find it. In essence, her choice for herself to find another was no different than your expectation of her "support" in your time of crisis.

This is a part of the process to become stronger and therefore better at truly loving another.

Growth comes from doing the best that you can with what you have at the time and accepting the results without making excuses or rationalizations. Living mindfully without blinders. Your sadness presents you with an opportunity to begin anew and be free of your illusions.

Pain is the ultimate indicator that further growth is required. I wish you well!
smile.gif

[Gojay]

Originally posted by chgodj3:
A woman once told me, "Every woman doesn't deserve to be treated like a queen" Now I know what she meant.Ain't that the truth!


peace
Gojay

[MusicFilter]

chgodj3 - think about your own words for a moment. You "thought she would be there". Why? Because it is what you would have done? What your mother would have done? What people in the movies and television shows do?

Her choice didn't fit in with your ideal and expectation. She obviously required something for her own satisfaction and went elsewhere to find it. In essence, her choice for herself to find another was no different than your expectation of her "support" in your time of crisis.

This is a part of the process to become stronger and therefore better at truly loving another.

Growth comes from doing the best that you can with what you have at the time and accepting the results without making excuses or rationalizations. Living mindfully without blinders. Your sadness presents you with an opportunity to begin anew and be free of your illusions.

Pain is the ultimate indicator that further growth is required. I wish you well!
smile.gif [/QB][/QUOTE]


Thank you Bold Soul I appreciate your insight. Yes she did what she did, but she didn't have to do what she did the way she did. Either way she was a ... :rolleyes: oooH I want to use the "C" word so bad!!! graemlins/cussing.gif

You just don't do that to people, It's just wrong. I would venture a guess that no one on this page would have left their boyfriend or girlfriend right after their parent died. mad1.gif

You stick around and try to help that person through it. My mother would have done it and most I've talked to about this situation would have stuck it out with that person. I only hope that when one of her folks dies that whoever she is close to bails like she did, then she will know my pain!!! mad1.gif graemlins/mecry.gif graemlins/puke.gif

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by chgodj3:
chgodj3 - think about your own words for a moment. You "thought she would be there". Why? Because it is what you would have done? What your mother would have done? What people in the movies and television shows do?

Her choice didn't fit in with your ideal and expectation. She obviously required something for her own satisfaction and went elsewhere to find it. In essence, her choice for herself to find another was no different than your expectation of her "support" in your time of crisis.

This is a part of the process to become stronger and therefore better at truly loving another.

Growth comes from doing the best that you can with what you have at the time and accepting the results without making excuses or rationalizations. Living mindfully without blinders. Your sadness presents you with an opportunity to begin anew and be free of your illusions.

Pain is the ultimate indicator that further growth is required. I wish you well!
smile.gif Thank you Bold Soul I appreciate your insight. Yes she did what she did, but she didn't have to do what she did the way she did. Either way she was a ... :rolleyes: oooH I want to use the "C" word so bad!!! graemlins/cussing.gif

You just don't do that to people, It's just wrong. I would venture a guess that no one on this page would have left their boyfriend or girlfriend right after their parent died. mad1.gif

You stick around and try to help that person through it. My mother would have done it and most I've talked to about this situation would have stuck it out with that person. I only hope that when one of her folks dies that whoever she is close to bails like she did, then she will know my pain!!! mad1.gif graemlins/mecry.gif graemlins/puke.gif [/QB][/QUOTE]

umm what's the "c" word?

[Jamie 3:26]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Ashaki:
umm what's the "c" word? [/QB][QUOTE]
CUNT.I prefer my Cuntry women,over Citty women anyday...

[ May 27, 2003, 04:09 PM: Message edited by: JAMIE 3:26 ]

[Oak Pk, IL's Best Bedroom DJ, serge]

http://www.mich.com/~drhanna/binky04.jpg

[ May 27, 2003, 04:21 PM: Message edited by: serge ]

[M3taPhsX]

The only girl I was ever in love with is getting married next month :( .

[MusicFilter]

The word is CUNT.

As in some women Cant Understand Normal Thinking!

I only said it because Ashaki wanted to know.

I mean no disrespect to any woman on this page, unless you are a C*NT. :rolleyes:

This person has no regard for anyone's feelings and only thinks of herself and her own well being. She will trample on your heart and mental state of mind to suit her own expectations. This person is not a lady, but happens to be female.

This is the meaning of C*NT. mad1.gif

[Bold Soul]

Originally posted by chgodj3:
The word is CUNT.

As in some women Cant Understand Normal Thinking!

I only said it because Ashaki wanted to know.

I mean no disrespect to any woman on this page, unless you are a C*NT. :rolleyes:

This person has no regard for anyone's feelings and only thinks of herself and her own well being. She will trample on your heart and mental state of mind to suit her own expectations. This person is not a lady, but happens to be female.

This is the meaning of C*NT. mad1.gif So this woman, with her own issues, dilemmas and ideals, was supposed to deny her own impulses and life for enough of a time as to assist you with working through your own life.

That she didn't place your NEEDS over her own life's quest makes her a cunt?

Two things present in the human psyche -

#1 - Suffering makes one superior to those who they perceive do not suffer.

#2 - Noble and moral behavior is valued over logical and ethical behavior.

#3 - Human beings validate one's love and loyality by measuring how much they will suffer for them.

The existence of these three realities in the human emotional condition ensures that much misery will be spread in the name of "love" and "right and wrong".

[And]

Hey Bold Soul ... I read your words and agree with a lot of them. Granted those thoughts have only meant diddly when the pain was over and I was ready to accept.
Perhaps chgodj3 just needs/wants to vent and be angry and call the girl a c:eek:t. I know sometimes venting (rationally or not in whoever's mind) works out. I've gotten so tired from venting in situations, the healing has come all the quicker. smile.gif
So from me to chgodj3 - Vent away and I hope you heal and learn and grow. smile.gif

[Bold Soul]

Indeed - I too wish everyone well in their struggles. The path to acceptance is painful. Support is required to endure the transition.