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View Full Version : Hey Djs..a dilemma



liL Ray
03-12-2003, 09:41 AM
di·lem·ma
A situation that requires a choice between options that are or seem equally unfavorable or mutually exclusive.

You are deejaying, the crowd is going wild, the place is really, really pack(pack like Brooklyn Labor Day Parade at Nostrand Ave), you are in the middle of a great mix, all of a sudden you have to pee, really, really have to pee, you thought you could wait it out but....the bathroom is on the opposite side of the dancefloor, long way around.....what do you do?

:(

The test of the dj....just some of the things that they have to go through at live functions.

Balactus
03-12-2003, 09:44 AM
get an empty water bottle and piss in that. then Keep Working.
graemlins/acclaim.gif

w

The Donger
03-12-2003, 09:46 AM
I pissed behind the stage at the bbq.

Jamie 3:26
03-12-2003, 09:48 AM
You should always carry an empty 2-liter bottle with you,especially for outdoor events.

You could also play Star Suite and have a pee,go get a beer,and something to eat...before the chorus even kicks in... graemlins/rofl.gif

liL Ray
03-12-2003, 09:48 AM
Originally posted by Ghost Of Donger:
I pissed behind the stage at the bbq. Everybody did...

DeesKo
03-12-2003, 09:49 AM
Find Pienso Y Tu in your crates, work that joint in and you got 12 minutes EASY... smile.gif

Peace

liL Ray
03-12-2003, 09:52 AM
Originally posted by JAMIE 3:26:


You could also play Star Suite and have a pee,go get a beer,and something to eat...before the chorus even kicks in... graemlins/rofl.gif Remember you are in the already in the middle of the mix....I like the 2 litre bottle idea

liL Ray
03-12-2003, 09:54 AM
Originally posted by DeesKo:
Find Pienso Y Tu in your crates, work that joint in and you got 12 minutes EASY... smile.gif

Peace Here's another part to it....you got nothing but dj hawks in the area, just waiting to pounce, all carrying little bags of records to make themselves look like djs.

The Donger
03-12-2003, 09:57 AM
play e2 e4 if you have diarreah.

DeesKo
03-12-2003, 09:59 AM
Originally posted by liL Ray:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by DeesKo:
Find Pienso Y Tu in your crates, work that joint in and you got 12 minutes EASY... smile.gif

Peace Here's another part to it....you got nothing but dj hawks in the area, just waiting to pounce, all carrying little bags of records to make themselves look like djs. </font>[/QUOTE]Ok... so you tweak the EQ's as a way to get out of your current mix quicker than you originally intended without it being obvious...
...you grab the 2 liter bottle and a screwdriver/knife/cutting utensil and poke 3 or 4 holes in the cap of the 2 liter bottle so as to turn a harmless 2 liter bottle into a weapon...

You take your leak in the bottle, put the top back on and threaten to squirt urine on anyone that comes within 10 feet of the console.

smile.gif

Peace

TAD
03-12-2003, 10:26 AM
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/1582600031.01.MZZZZZZZ.gif

here's my advice. note: 1 & 2 don't apply to liLRay's question. it's obviously too late at this point. graemlins/drink.gif graemlins/all_coholic.gif

1- empty your bladder b4 your gig
2- don't drink too much
3- stay relaxed
4- in the event of an urgent situation, place your left hand over your perineum (bladder area) push in gently, close your eyes & take a deep breath, hold for 3 seconds then exhale. repeat several times. the urge to pee should go away.
5-have special camouflaged device installed under console where you can line up your member for instant relief.
6-call the ex that always had a thing for fetishes but you were too conservative at the time.
7-wear a diaper
8-bring xtra pants & underwear if all else fails.

you got me liLRay. what the hell are you going on about?

nev m
03-12-2003, 10:45 AM
"The Mobile DJ Water Closet"
You need 1 x Funnel

1 x Roll Gaffa tape (duct tape will do)

1 x 2ft peice flexi hose

1 x Gallon plastic carton
Attach funnel to thigh just below zipper, funnel to flexi hose, flexi hose into carton. Attach carton at knee with Gaffa (or duct) tape.

Jobs a goodun!! (change carton when full).

LEONARD REMIX RROY
03-12-2003, 10:51 AM
The majority of my edits & remixes are 10+ minutes long, I just throw one on and continue mission.

dinocrash
03-12-2003, 11:11 AM
at this rate, most of us deep house dj's will be soon wearing depends anyway :(

Balactus
03-12-2003, 11:14 AM
don't hold it.

i hear that it's bad to hold it in you gotta let it flow.

w

Mike Johnson
03-12-2003, 11:37 AM
You piss in your pants and play it off by telling folks that the mix was so hot that it made you wet yourself :D

Seriously, you get out of that mix and go do what you gotta do.

larry rauson
03-12-2003, 11:54 AM
Be professional, take care of business, before you hit the tables

Larry

formerly known as kenspank
03-12-2003, 03:50 PM
http://www.duneworld.org/movie/images/kynes.jpg

you need one of these suits so you can sweat, pee, and dookie inside of it without a problem. then the waste material will be recycled into drinking water and other useful things. graemlins/acclaim.gif

Koffy Brown
03-12-2003, 03:56 PM
You men are some disgusting animals.. graemlins/rofl.gif

formerly known as kenspank
03-12-2003, 03:59 PM
Originally posted by Ashaki:
You men are some disgusting animals.. graemlins/rofl.gif just keepin it real.

Koffy Brown
03-12-2003, 04:03 PM
Originally posted by kenspank:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
You men are some disgusting animals.. graemlins/rofl.gif just keepin it real. </font>[/QUOTE]that's what I'm talking about graemlins/puke.gif

formerly known as kenspank
03-12-2003, 04:06 PM
Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by kenspank:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
You men are some disgusting animals.. graemlins/rofl.gif just keepin it real. </font>[/QUOTE]that's what I'm talking about graemlins/puke.gif </font>[/QUOTE]you like it.

KragShot
03-12-2003, 04:07 PM
Originally posted by kenspank:
http://www.duneworld.org/movie/images/kynes.jpg

you need one of these suits so you can sweat, pee, and dookie inside of it without a problem. then the waste material will be recycled into drinking water and other useful things. graemlins/acclaim.gif HAAAA! Kenspank with the stillsuit reference!!

Those things are good for two days...for those extra long sets....

KragShot

liL Ray
03-12-2003, 04:31 PM
Originally posted by Mike Johnson:
You piss in your pants and play it off by telling folks that the mix was so hot that it made you wet yourself :D That's a dj for ya...let nothing get in the way...hahahaha.

Cosmic, I like the call kinky ex....nothing up my sleeve, by the way Cosmic...this type of stuff happen all the time....happen this week....I just threw on some sing-a-long classic and made a be line to the bathroom....crowd thought I was possessed.

Larry, everybody can't be as professional as you, papa...

Javier Drada
03-12-2003, 06:07 PM
pee on the Trainspoters...

daniel
03-12-2003, 08:00 PM
here ya go
http://www.oneill.com/product/images/1513_sm.jpg

peeing in it will keep you warm too.

jsd540
03-12-2003, 09:24 PM
Originally posted by JAMIE 3:26:
You should always carry an empty 2-liter bottle with you,especially for outdoor events.

You could also play Star Suite and have a pee,go get a beer,and something to eat...before the chorus even kicks in... graemlins/rofl.gif Or love is the message 15 min edit and take a shower shave make a few calls to your relatives tuck your kids in roll a spliff and then continue...but by then you may have to take another piss... :D

julian_kelly
03-12-2003, 09:33 PM
People doze on the "security guard escort"

A big burly security guard yelling with a flashlight can get you thru any crowd or to any bar in a quickness graemlins/rofl.gif i know ive done it graemlins/rofl.gif

julian kelly

TAD
03-12-2003, 10:43 PM
for those marathon sets:

http://itss.raytheon.com/cafe/qadir/spacesuit.gif

Red D
03-13-2003, 03:02 AM
Nowadays you usually only get two hours to play, so you should be able to make it :D

RD

mdpm99
03-13-2003, 06:21 AM
Man Offered Cocaine By Guy He Met At Urinal 90 Seconds Ago

NEW YORK—A minute and a half after using a urinal at the Manhattan hotspot Bungalow 8 Monday, Gerard Bouchard, 25, was offered cocaine by the stranger voiding his bladder next to him. "As I'm leaving the restroom, the sweat-soaked guy I was pissing next to says, 'Sure is crowded, but, hey, lots of hot chicks and you can't go wrong with that, right? Want a bump?'" Bouchard said. "I guess I didn't realize that taking your penis out near someone makes them your good friend." Bouchard declined the man's generous offer, bypassing a chance to strengthen their urinating-in-close-proximity bond.

Martin Red
03-13-2003, 08:21 AM
Originally posted by liL Ray:
di·lem·ma
A situation that requires a choice between options that are or seem equally unfavorable or mutually exclusive.

You are deejaying, the crowd is going wild, the place is really, really pack(pack like Brooklyn Labor Day Parade at Nostrand Ave), you are in the middle of a great mix, all of a sudden you have to pee, really, really have to pee, you thought you could wait it out but....the bathroom is on the opposite side of the dancefloor, long way around.....what do you do?

:(

The test of the dj....just some of the things that they have to go through at live functions. Hold it ! wait a minute, find a long player.
if your prostate is giving you greif graemlins/rofl.gif see if your friend who can play can step in 4 u.

Dilemma 2, your in the middle of your set and the doorman comes over and says, what the ****s that, play some proper music (seriously true example in a wank place called Solihull), I told the cunt, when I start telling you who to let in you can tell me what to play !! !!!! ! ! ! ! mother****inganalfistingpenguinguzzlinggisscabtwat bastardmother****er
mad1.gif

The Donger
03-13-2003, 08:41 AM
Originally posted by david mancuso:
Man Offered Cocaine By Guy He Met At Urinal 90 Seconds Ago

NEW YORK—A minute and a half after using a urinal at the Manhattan hotspot Bungalow 8 Monday, Gerard Bouchard, 25, was offered cocaine by the stranger voiding his bladder next to him. "As I'm leaving the restroom, the sweat-soaked guy I was pissing next to says, 'Sure is crowded, but, hey, lots of hot chicks and you can't go wrong with that, right? Want a bump?'" Bouchard said. "I guess I didn't realize that taking your penis out near someone makes them your good friend." Bouchard declined the man's generous offer, bypassing a chance to strengthen their urinating-in-close-proximity bond. Hahahaa... nice.

Is that from the onion?

mdpm99
03-13-2003, 09:03 AM
not sure...... it was a fwd

mattymatt
03-13-2003, 09:35 AM
Originally posted by david mancuso:
not sure...... it was a fwd yes thats on the onion front page.
good one...

mdpm99
03-13-2003, 11:58 AM
Originally posted by mattymatt:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by david mancuso:
not sure...... it was a fwd yes thats on the onion front page.
good one... </font>[/QUOTE]Thank you mattymatt....

d

kayotv
03-13-2003, 06:25 PM
I was wondering why there were all those hot red stripe bottles in the booth at the end of BKNY. Ray dman you!!! smile.gif LOL

funny post
k!

houseaddict
03-13-2003, 10:00 PM
That would be why I like to wear Depends to all gigs along with my Hammer pants. Everybody thinks you're going retro, but really you're going Pee. :D

dennis f
03-13-2003, 10:41 PM
David Cole's re-edit/remix of "House Music Anthem"

that's saved my ass many a time!!

Starsuite is a close second..cuz you should only use that in an extreme emergency...like when ya gots the runs!!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:


heheh

Nege
03-14-2003, 03:09 AM
Originally posted by larry rauson:
Be professional, take care of business, before you hit the tables

Larry That or play a long record but make sure it's a good one.

[ March 14, 2003, 03:10 AM: Message edited by: Eneg ]