The House Music Mafia will be Revealed

[The Donger]

This Friday night 10pm-12am EST on www.downshiftradio.com (http://www.downshiftradio.com)

"The Donger & Recondo Show" will change everything.

[%seRge%]

Just don't break too many FCC rules and/or regulations firday night. ok?
Wait, the FCC does not govern the internet......
ok, just don't eat any live animals on the air.

have fun

[ April 23, 2003, 09:50 AM: Message edited by: %seRge% ]

[The Donger]

The 7 families.

One of the top 3 has already expressed to me via e-mail they are not happy with the announcement. The threats of removing me from your promo list and having a certain "large" producer sit on me and flatten me and turn me into a 12", will not stop "Donger-Investigative Deep House Journalist"!!!

[Bill Blake]

This is gonna blow the lid on the whole shabang

[The Donger]

Hahaha!

I'm gonna bite the head off of a puppy Friday Night!

[GROOVE VICTIM]

What in D Hail?

What, you're gonna make an offer these so called "Families" can't refuse?

What, a broken copy of "Leesh Called Love" placed in the Bed of Tony Humphries?

Can't wait to see when you send Recondo fishing in the lake!!

You tell Louie to go to Ibiza, knowing his ass is gonna get strangled in his car?

Beat up on Francois K and Joe Clausell goes out to save him, but gets shot up at the Verazano tool booth?


graemlins/rofl.gif

[statuskuo]

Originally posted by Ghost Of Donger:
Hahaha! I'm gonna bite the head off of a puppy Friday Night! Jude?
hooooooooooo! Ya mo may be there.

[statuskuo]

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
What in D Hail?What, you're gonna make an offer these so called "Families" can't refuse?
What, a broken copy of "Leesh Called Love" placed in the Bed of Tony Humphries?Can't wait to see when you send Recondo fishing in the lake!!
You tell Louie to go to Ibiza, knowing his ass is gonna get strangled in his car? Beat up on Francois K and Joe Clausell goes out to save him, but gets shot up at the Verazano tool booth?
graemlins/rofl.gif you are a tool, stool sample.

[Raven Fox]

WARNING: READ THIS SOMEWHERE ON THE NET - THIS IS STRICTLY HUMOR TO ME (BUT IT FEELS REAL) graemlins/respekt.gif

Per Don Mway-ma at "that OTHER board":

THe mafias are the "familias" that control the major parties and records released in and around the tri-state area.

You don't get put on unless you are "known" to one of the familia - no matter how good your DJ or production skills are.

If you are accepted by one of "la familia" the others are more likely to deal with you. Same for if you are blackballed by one of "la familia" everybody treats you like you got SARS. Word spreads faster than the plague.

Anybody can make a record, but its not really "broken" unless one of "la familia" plays it. Then it 'may' have a chance.

The rules:
* never speak bad about la familia
* always be nice to them, and as a reward ppl get comp entry and or the all important promo
* when in the presence of familia, ALWAYS show respect

==========================
Per Richie C (whoever that is):

Stop being such scaredy cats and list them already.

7 families: UPDATED

1) Shelter - they have the soundsystem and the space, they charge $20, and Timmy has too much power to make or break a new record in NYC at this point because no-one is challenging this Saturday night oldies romp. The label is (not so suprisingly) suspect. Some really weird shit comes out on there from time to time. Forget skills, you just to be cool with them (black) to release stuff on Shelter.

2) MAW - Far commercial reach. They reach Europeans like no one else in the deep house induzzzztry does. They tease the underlings with promos to keep them from rebelling. Classic tactic used by corrupt governments as seen throughout history. I even recieved a promo package from them recently and big upped thier 7" Box Set on the message boards. I am disgusted with myself. Forget skills, you just to be cool with them (spanish) to release stuff on MAW.

3) Wave - Pure prestige. At one time if you were cool with Wave, you had some juice at Body & Soul. Since B&S died, they were in a sort of limbo as far as nightlife, but now that Deep Space has started, I've been saying what's up to Matty in clubs again. Francois also has some wierd reputation as being a genius, although he apparently lost his mind years ago and started naming his music generic titles like "deep & sexy" in watered down white boy deep house compilations. Forget skills, you just to be cool with them (white) to release stuff on Wave.

4) West End - Not almighty powerful anymore, but a pioneering disco force in the late 70's to mid 80's. Mel Cheren is often cited as the owner of the Garage, which isn't true. It was a big power move when this family drafted Kevin "Blaze" Hedge from the Shelter family, bringing the West End family back up to number 4 on the list. All families felt a little unrest when this happened. Although Kevin is in charge of West End, they still manage to have some suspect releases. Forget skills, you just have to be cool with them (gay) to release stuff on West End.

5) Spiritual Life / Ibadan Families - Although different labels, both families are close knit and are headed by Spiritual leader Joe Claussel. Joe made a lot of noise in the community after he refused to return to B&S. Rumors flew, but those in the know kept thier mouths shut, not because of turf wars that may have ensued, but because of a strange curse that may be put upon them if they dared think the truth out loud. A peaceful tribe at best, however not to be ****ed with. Thier true powers lie in the spirit world. Forget skills, you just have to be cool with them (some sort of indian) to release stuff on these labels.

6) Q-Tip - Although Q-Tip has zero ties to the deep house scene, he keeps checking in and has already started the necessary groundwork involved to ride the wave to the top if house ever accidently blows up. His powers stem from his celebrity and status in the hip-hop scene, and the fact that all the poor house heads know he has money. They are dangerously quick to accept him and his crew in hopes to ride the wave on his coat tails if the shit really does hit the fan. You have to be cool with him (already have some kind of juice to get him somewhere), to get somewhere with him.

7) THE GRAND KUONIAN ARMY - They are the most surreptitious and most feared of the 7 families. Ignoring everything that is holy and revered by the other 6 families, they are known to routinely defecate historical house and disco artifacts. This bunch of rowdy miscreants despise such stalwarts of traditional family prestige such as industry recognition, financial/commercial gain, social political correctness, and actual contributions to this thing we call house. All we know for sure is that they have several highly effective, agile operative cells in cities ranging from New York, DC, Chicago, London, San Diego, Los Angelos, Montreal, and Toronto to name a few. It isn't certain how one becomes a member of the GKA, but it is commonly beleived that being cool with them (asian) helps.

thanks JL for the last one.


Tada!

==============================

And then theres somebody names FIREFLY:

The famileis Richie C mentioned are all seperate families, but lately have been coming together. For example, you hear Louie's records played extensively at Shelter, and vice versa. These were all once seperate families but have decided to pool their resources together for an ultimate takeover.

Also, there are strong ties to Japanese organized crime. Most of the house mafia members prefer Japanese girlfriends and travel EXTENSIVELY to Japan. Go to any Japanese record store and see what the hot house titles are and you will see which ones are displayed and pushed, some stores even going as far as displaying 'Timmy Regisford Hot Pick' on certain records. The Japan link could have many meanings, but probably has a lot to do with funding.

The NYC deep house mafia even tried to infiltrate the UK deep house mafia, but failed, as evidenced by the failed Shelter parties at Fabric in London.

They are also trying to recruit West Coast affiliates. Notice how many San Francisco dj's no longer get booked as much in NYC, but certain dj's from Los Angeles do. Marques Wyatt changed his playing style from his own unique style to playing mostly the records the mafia members play in NYC. Suddenly he is playing at Shelter, and Timmy and Louie regularly play his party in Los Angeles all of a sudden.

Joe Clausell is a member of the family also. This one dj alone has done a lot to convert many followers to the style of house now predonimant in NYC.

Yellorange was developed as a rival family, but never went far because they are greatly outnumbered by the main family they are trying to destroy. Also, their fanbase of mostly Jersey old school heads does not help the cause. If they recruited more credible members and had a fanbase of more than the same five Jersey cheerleaders, this family can be a real seperate competing family.

Again, the various families, though some rivalries seem to exsit, are actually united. The small disputes and rivalries are created as a smokescreen to throw off the masses.

Jersey is under the impression that they have their own familes as well, but if you look deeper into it, they are mostly duplicating Timmy as well. Same records, same classics.

The families' influence is evident in the predominant style of house being played in NYC, the main party people attend, and the various small parties that try to duplicate that main party. The cause of the family is under the veil of the old notion of peace, love, unity and respect, with the 'world' house sound being pushed. In reality, the main leaders in these families are secretly racist and seek full control of the so called 'deep and soulful' house scene. The whole concept of unity and openmindedness is used to convert and control the followers. There are also deep spiritual/religious implications of the mafia. Many are Santeria or Yoruba practioners.

Revisionist history is also part of the game. If one listens to a family member, one will think that only deep, soulful music was ever played anywhere over the ages, for example, the Paradise Garage. The Garage name is thrown around considerably to gain attention and power, particularly byt he West End branch of the family. The original owner is dead, and so is the original dj, therefore nobody can doubt or dispute what is said now. The name Garage stirkes fear in people, even though the variety of music that was played and broken there is talked about less and less. People are led to believe that only one type of music was ever played there. A lot of money is made off the so called 'Garage' reunion parties, and the dj's playing those parties were mostly fill in or opening dj's at the original garage.

========================== graemlins/conf44.gif

and the story continues....

Who is on top of the New Jersey Family?

http://www.kickinmusic.com/images/covers/spiritually_155.jpg

IMO - (my brothers - Kevin Hedge & Josh Milan aka Blaze - Spiritually speaking that is) graemlins/rofl.gif

This makes for a good soap opera.
We can call it: LA COSA NOSTRA DE LA CASA

[ April 23, 2003, 11:14 AM: Message edited by: Raven Fox ]

[The Donger]

You need to ask permission before you paste my posts from other boards!!!

I was saving my 7 families list for the show!

All in good fun people...

[Raven Fox]

Originally posted by Ghost Of Donger:
You need to ask permission before you paste my posts from other boards!!!

I was saving my 7 families list for the show!

All in good fun people... OMERTA!!

sorry kid, didn't know that was you over there... graemlins/acclaim.gif

but the cat was already out of the bag.

I'm sure you guys will give us a great production on Friday night on downshiftradio.com (a good thing).

Please make sure they have their shit together with the bandwidth though (a bad thing).

Looking forward to it.

Peace!

[ April 23, 2003, 11:21 AM: Message edited by: Raven Fox ]

[Bill Blake]

Bird Dog will be sleeping with the fishes soon.

[GROOVE VICTIM]

Originally posted by Jamie Lennox:
Bird Dog will be sleeping with the fishes soon. "Yeah..just put the tag on the toe." Cliff Claven from Cheers.

Peace

[statuskuo]

ahhahahhaha

east river or hudson river?

[Raven Fox]

Originally posted by Jamie Lennox:
Bird Dog will be sleeping with the fishes soon. graemlins/lol.gif ummm... graemlins/cool_shades.gif I got no problem with the Kuo's - do I Don Kai?

JLennie ====> ooooh, i'm scared graemlins/bolt.gif

(lets keep it in jest mode icon_rofl.gif cause this is funny as hell)

"Bird Dog" graemlins/conf44.gif graemlins/rofl.gif

[ April 23, 2003, 11:41 AM: Message edited by: Raven Fox ]

[Raven Fox]

Originally posted by statuskuo:
ahhahahhaha

east river or hudson river? i'd prefer the ATLANTIC OCEAN

graemlins/cool_shades.gif

[TAC]

Jokes, maybe, but theer is a lot of truth in the Seven families fable...

Peace
TAC

[GROOVE VICTIM]

Just don't be as stupid as this man.

http://www.startribune.com/stonline/images/news76/1cali0419.e.jpg


that was wrong

[Bill Blake]

http://www2.state.id.us/dhw/cdp/westnile/images/raven.jpg http://www.nps.gov/chis/fox.jpg

[TAC]

Originally posted by Raven Fox:
"Bird Dog" Call sign, Danny Glover, "Flight of the Intruder."

[statuskuo]

HAHAHHAHhahahhahah
pose, raven.

[Raven Fox]

And then there's the DEAD families as posted by a bloke named ISaac "over there":

Deceased Families:

1. ****: An original stalwart of the House Music MSG board World. Unfortunately due to poor management and a rift with a splinter group of the KUO army, the Family that once held it's head up high is now struggling to gain any American entries into the once infamous **** mixoff.

As Romanthony once said "Falling from Grace".

2. GarageHouseMusic.com: Again an original stalwart of the House Music MSG board World. Unfortunately the board also had a rift with a splinter group from the KUO army. Therefore, the management were forced to close down due to "serious" death threats.

3. DTOURISM.com: Never an original member of the House Music MSG board World, although without doubt an original concept (kissingdanny'sbutt.com) might of been a better name. Once again the French owners thought they could battle the KUO army splinter group, they failed, and they paid hard. At one point the owner had to get out of bed at 4am in Singapore just to save what was left of his site.

4. PaulFarris.com: Used to have plenty of visitors aged between 6 and 13 who were all into defected. The KUO army themselves descended on the site and literally killed it and it's members. The site unfortunately is trying to bounce back, but no Blacks, and no one who knows house music pre 1998 is allowed in. It's part of the terms and conditions.

In summary: The Kuoian 7th Family reigns over all that is Nice and Gay in House music. The army are there for a reason. Our vision is to rid the World of ignorant House heads. Our very latest success was to ensure the Scots re-registered and hid their identities so that the World wouldn't know their nationality. Yet again, it worked.

Who's next?

Not much is left aside from an all out confrontation with the leading families of both NYC and London. I can see some casualties, wait we forgot Chicago. The tension between the boards is so great that I can't even mention the Chicago Family on here.

All that I see that is left and credible is:

KUO
DHP
**** (doubtful credibility)

[ April 23, 2003, 12:35 PM: Message edited by: Raven Fox ]

[Raven Fox]

Originally posted by TAC:
Jokes, maybe, but theer is a lot of truth in the Seven families fable...

Peace
TAC na ah' mean... na am sayin' http://deephousepage.com/smilies/scratchchin.gif

[statuskuo]

bird dog should be bizzzaannned for writing "U.N.*.C**". eluding that specific script is a crime here.

[TAC]

Originally posted by Raven Fox:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by TAC:
Jokes, maybe, but theer is a lot of truth in the Seven families fable...

Peace
TAC na ah' mean... na am sayin' http://deephousepage.com/smilies/scratchchin.gif </font>[/QUOTE]I don't want no trouble. I just want to be able to buy my music in peace!!

[Austin/Dallas]

http://www.designskey.com/ape.gif http://www.designskey.com/ape.gif http://www.designskey.com/ape.gif http://www.designskey.com/ape.gif http://www.designskey.com/ape.gif http://www.designskey.com/ape.gif http://www.designskey.com/ape.gif
Oopss....I thought someone said seven monkeys...my bad

[lyot]

interesting... ;)
where do Metro Area and people like Daniel Wang and David Mancuso fit in..? What about the Loft maffia ?

[Raven Fox]

Originally posted by statuskuo:
bird dog should be bizzzaannned for writing "U.N.*.C**". eluding that specific script is a crime here. you're a RAT... nobody likes a RAT.

http://deephousepage.com/smilies/splat.gif

[daniel]

Originally posted by lyot:
interesting... ;)
where do Metro Area and people like Daniel Wang fit in..? the environ family is smart enough to distance themselves. for further info, you'll need to check into the nyhappenings/electrodiscopunks email groups on yahoo.

[lyot]

Originally posted by daniel:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by lyot:
interesting... ;)
where do Metro Area and people like Daniel Wang fit in..? the environ family is smart enough to distance themselves. for further info, you'll need to check into the nyhappenings/electrodiscopunks email groups on yahoo. </font>[/QUOTE]that would not surprise me.. ;) Daniel, I see you are situated in Venice..Did you host Daniel Wang around there by the end of december last year ?

[Raven Fox]

Originally posted by statuskuo:
HAHAHHAHhahahhahah
pose, raven. Hahahahaha... pose Kuo
http://www.statuskuo.com/ikonboard/emoticons/SIKE.gif

[daniel]

Originally posted by lyot:
Daniel, I see you are situated in Venice..Did you host Daniel Wang around there by the end of december last year ? no, i am not down the gay chinese star trek scene and don't know danny that well.

[ April 23, 2003, 01:13 PM: Message edited by: daniel ]

[The Donger]

Anyone not part of the 7 are only guilty of making quality tunes and tend to be outmuscled by the families.

[eleeut]

Originally posted by daniel:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by lyot:
Daniel, I see you are situated in Venice..Did you host Daniel Wang around there by the end of december last year ? no, i am not down the gay chinese star trek scene and don't know danny that well. </font>[/QUOTE]ahahaha

[daniel]

Originally posted by Ghost Of Donger:
Anyone not part of the 7 are only guilty of making quality tunes and tend to be outmuscled by the families. hahaha, i read "tend to be outmuscled by females"

[mhd]

Originally posted by TAC:
Jokes, maybe, but theer is a lot of truth in the Seven families fable...

Peace
TAC word, perpesctive

[statuskuo]

Originally posted by mhd:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by TAC:
Jokes, maybe, but theer is a lot of truth in the Seven families fable...Peace
TAC word, perpesctive </font>[/QUOTE]hoooo! that's a rare one.

[statuskuo]

Originally posted by eleeut:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by daniel:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by lyot:
Daniel, I see you are situated in Venice..Did you host Daniel Wang around there by the end of december last year ? no, i am not down the gay chinese star trek scene and don't know danny that well. </font>[/QUOTE]ahahaha </font>[/QUOTE]ahhahahahhaah at eleeut jumping and getting excited over "gay chinese".

[daniel]

hahahaha, poor elliot. someday he'll land some uber hot chick and we'll all be jealous.

[JMNYC]

REPLY TO THIS ON THE B&S BOARD... (http://www.bodyandsoul-nyc.com/interact/messages/28676.html)

this is a direct quote, so don't go sending your "poorly endowed" henchmen after me, kay?

-------------------------------------------------

7) THE GRAND KUONIAN ARMY - are poorly endowed. They are the laughing stalks of the dance internet world. They are the court jesters. Only hatred and envy drive them.

[statuskuo]

Originally posted by JMNYC:
REPLY TO THIS ON THE B&S BOARD... (http://www.bodyandsoul-nyc.com/interact/messages/28676.html)

this is a direct quote, so don't go sending your "poorly endowed" henchmen after me, kay?

-------------------------------------------------

7) THE GRAND KUONIAN ARMY - are poorly endowed. They are the laughing stalks of the dance internet world. They are the court jesters. Only hatred and envy drive them. you are agimp. eat shit.
(edit: because i am chow yun fat, a drunken bullet-proof monk)

[ April 25, 2003, 12:27 AM: Message edited by: statuskuo ]

[mhd]

Originally posted by JMNYC:
REPLY TO THIS ON THE B&S BOARD... (http://www.bodyandsoul-nyc.com/interact/messages/28676.html)

this is a direct quote, so don't go sending your "poorly endowed" henchmen after me, kay?

-------------------------------------------------

7) THE GRAND KUONIAN ARMY - are poorly endowed. They are the laughing stalks of the dance internet world. They are the court jesters. Only hatred and envy drive them. tell us something we don't know