andrea
11-13-2003, 11:10 AM
DEMOCRAT
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty
for being
successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to
your neighbor. You
form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides
you with milk. You
wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd
of cows.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you
have to sell both
to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow,
which was a gift
from your government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots
one, milks the other,
pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself
and do an IPO on the
2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four
cows. You are
surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement
to the analysts
stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your
stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three
cows. You go to
lunch and drink wine. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth
the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to
travel on
unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their
class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond,
drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately
they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While
ambling around, you
see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and
learn you have five
cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and
learn you have 42
cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you
really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You
don't milk them
because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. Then
you kill them and
claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send audio tapes
of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed
attempting to
milk them.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the
best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the
black one. Some
people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some
people can't figure
out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of- state tell you
which is the best-looking cow.
NEW YORK CORPORATION
You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one
will be the leader
of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows. Most are illegals. Arnold likes
the ones with the
big tits
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty
for being
successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to
your neighbor. You
form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides
you with milk. You
wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd
of cows.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you
have to sell both
to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow,
which was a gift
from your government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots
one, milks the other,
pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself
and do an IPO on the
2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four
cows. You are
surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement
to the analysts
stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your
stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three
cows. You go to
lunch and drink wine. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth
the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to
travel on
unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their
class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond,
drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately
they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While
ambling around, you
see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and
learn you have five
cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and
learn you have 42
cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you
really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You
don't milk them
because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. Then
you kill them and
claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send audio tapes
of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed
attempting to
milk them.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the
best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the
black one. Some
people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some
people can't figure
out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of- state tell you
which is the best-looking cow.
NEW YORK CORPORATION
You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one
will be the leader
of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows. Most are illegals. Arnold likes
the ones with the
big tits