Socio-economic mixing..do you care??? [Archive]

richierich

08-27-2003, 09:18 AM

Do you feel like a persons' socio-economic status would have an adverse effect on whether you would be in relationship with them? You've busted your ass to get through law school or med school or what have you.. can you take serious and date a person that say works at IHOP and lives on the other side of the tracks so to speak? I don't think it is as (I could be wrong)important for guys as it might be for gals..I just want her to be nice and sweet and respect herself and others. I don't mean a lazy bum or anything but they're not as formally educated, don't make NEARLY as much money and they're background is let's just say less than stellar.

And

08-27-2003, 09:24 AM

For me poverty is more of a mental state. There have times I've made enough to consider myself wealthy but my mind didn't think so. There have times when I was reaching up to the poverty line and couldn't have been happier with my life.
*Love* is my only concern when it comes to relationships.

TAC

08-27-2003, 09:31 AM

WTF?

Mocambo

08-27-2003, 09:34 AM

Decency and Courtesy can not be attained through economics. I've met some stable/comfortable cats that were ugly inside.

Leslie

08-27-2003, 09:35 AM

Originally posted by TAC:
WTF? graemlins/rofl.gif

And

08-27-2003, 09:40 AM

Originally posted by TAC:
WTF? Right back atcha.

illiciumverum

08-27-2003, 09:41 AM

n/m

[ August 27, 2003, 10:41 AM: Message edited by: staranise ]

And

08-27-2003, 09:42 AM

Originally posted by Leslie:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by TAC:
WTF? graemlins/rofl.gif [/QUOTE]ZZZZZZZ graemlins/sleep2.gif

TAC

08-27-2003, 09:49 AM

Originally posted by 6 23:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Leslie:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by TAC:
WTF? graemlins/rofl.gif [/QUOTE]ZZZZZZZ graemlins/sleep2.gif [/QUOTE]This is a what the f*ck kinda question (topic) is that/this. Brother man, where do pull these cliche questions from, or is your life that tumultuous?

Seems like a certain person needs to get their rack twisted off in order to get beyond the purgatory that said certain person is so obviously caught in.

Once again, WHAT THE F*CK?

TAC

Leslie

08-27-2003, 09:50 AM

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 09:50 AM

After you reach a certain status don't you network and socialize with people usually in that social class...

Just asking....

I'm not into dividing people into classes...BUT you have to be able to contribute in a fair way financially to the relationship...

TAC

08-27-2003, 09:52 AM

richierich

08-27-2003, 09:53 AM

I thought it was a legitimate question. Anyway at the end of the day are you happy? Some actually are more concerned with what their friends or family would say about whom they choose. None of my ex's parent have thougt that I was good enough for there daughters. I feel like there is NOONE that is out of my league so to speak. I don't expect everyone to like me but damned if I think that you're too good for me based on anything.

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 09:53 AM

Originally posted by TAC:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
After you reach a certain status don't you network and socialize with people usually in that social class...

Just asking....

I'm not into dividing people into classes...BUT you have to be able to contribute in a fair way financially to the relationship... To a ceratin point, NO. As people of color, i.e. Black peoplpe, we have to stick together. Its is essential for our cultural survival.

End of F*CKING DISCUSSION... . [/QUOTE]Mkay...YOU KNOW I'M WHICH-CHOO...A 100% ON THIS ONE....POWER TO THE PEOPLE...!!!!

TAC

08-27-2003, 09:56 AM

Originally posted by richierich:
None of my ex's parent have thougt that I was good enough for there daughters.And this line of reasoning is wack. You didn't need to be with those people anyway if they thought like that.

Peace
TAC

Leslie

08-27-2003, 09:57 AM

Originally posted by 6 23:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by TAC:
WTF? Right back atcha. [/QUOTE]Do you get it now?

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 09:58 AM

Originally posted by TAC:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by richierich:
None of my ex's parent have thougt that I was good enough for there daughters.And this line of reasoning is wack. You didn't need to be with those people anyway if they thought like that.

Peace
TAC [/QUOTE]Well he did say parents...I know that my mom didn't like any of my boyfriends except my ex-husband...but after awhile who gives a **** what the parents want or like...not I...my mom respects my opinions and trust my judgment...end of discussion...because she knows that I ain't fooling with any fools....

richierich

08-27-2003, 09:59 AM

Originally posted by TAC:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by richierich:
None of my ex's parent have thougt that I was good enough for there daughters.And this line of reasoning is wack. You didn't need to be with those people anyway if they thought like that.

Peace
TAC [/QUOTE]It didn't stop me from seeing them and what is wack? I just asked a question..maybe it was on my mind..geeze.

[ August 27, 2003, 11:04 AM: Message edited by: richierich ]

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 10:01 AM

Originally posted by 6 23:
For me poverty is more of a mental state. There have times I've made enough to consider myself wealthy but my mind didn't think so. There have times when I was reaching up to the poverty line and couldn't have been happier with my life.
*Love* is my only concern when it comes to relationships. I only wish *Love* was enough... :(

MYOR

08-27-2003, 10:08 AM

ok peeps lets get real here.. especially the ladies... we all know if you are having a high paying job... most likely you will want someone equal or better.. A lot of men can't deal with the woman brining home the beacon...

liL Ray

08-27-2003, 10:10 AM

Originally posted by TAC:
WTF? I thought it was a new type of dj skill.....

Leslie

08-27-2003, 10:12 AM

Originally posted by MYOR:
A lot of men can't deal with the woman brining home the beacon... It further.......

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 10:12 AM

I'm extremely real...I don't put people in classes...when it comes to dating you don't have to do what I do or make what I make as far as $ but you have to be ambitious and motivated...

Example...my chocolate honeydip is an Engineer, but he owns his own business which ain't making a whole bunch of lucci right now...but will I stop dating him...don't think so...would I date him even if he didn't have the Engineering Degree but owned his own business...absolutely....

TAC

08-27-2003, 10:14 AM

Originally posted by richierich:
It didn't stop me from seeing them and what is wack? I just asked a question..maybe it was on my mind..geeze. My suggestion, seek the aid of a therapist. They can help you work it out.

Peace
TAC

richierich

08-27-2003, 10:15 AM

Originally posted by TAC:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by richierich:
It didn't stop me from seeing them and what is wack? I just asked a question..maybe it was on my mind..geeze. My suggestion, seek the aid of a therapist. They can help you work it out.

Peace
TAC [/QUOTE]You got jokes..i'ts cool though.

MYOR

08-27-2003, 10:18 AM

Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
I'm extremely real...I don't put people in classes...when it comes to dating you don't have to do what I do or make what I make as far as $ but you have to be ambitious and motivated...

Example...my chocolate honeydip is an Engineer, but he owns his own business which ain't making a whole bunch of lucci right now...but will I stop dating him...don't think so...would I date him even if he didn't have the Engineering Degree but owned his own business...absolutely.... He has an engineering degree... or owns a business so he is in the high socio-economic class..

Now would you date him if he was as window washer? Would you date him if you walked into a McDonalds and he asked you on a date and consider him someone you would marry??

mhd

08-27-2003, 10:21 AM

rampant misunderstandings

Martin Red

08-27-2003, 10:21 AM

I was going to post "if you do your ****ed" but..

Romance is dead it seems

**** it ! go out with people for what they do and not who they are.

But don't say: I am seeing "insert name"
Instead just "insert career"

O **** IT, be shallow, love your synthetic life, love you partners career, love yourself for being so brilliantly conniving to achieve being a person doesn't really care to try to understand love.

Adam met Eve and asked "so what you do for a living.... where do you live.. what about your parents ?"

I don't think so.

Love
Martin

[ August 27, 2003, 11:22 AM: Message edited by: Martin Red ]

richierich

08-27-2003, 10:25 AM

Originally posted by liL Ray:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by TAC:
WTF? I thought it was a new type of dj skill..... [/QUOTE]Boy you aint nuthin' nice smile.gif

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 10:28 AM

Originally posted by MYOR:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
I'm extremely real...I don't put people in classes...when it comes to dating you don't have to do what I do or make what I make as far as $ but you have to be ambitious and motivated...

Example...my chocolate honeydip is an Engineer, but he owns his own business which ain't making a whole bunch of lucci right now...but will I stop dating him...don't think so...would I date him even if he didn't have the Engineering Degree but owned his own business...absolutely.... He has an engineering degree... or owns a business so he is in the high socio-economic class..

Now would you date him if he was as window washer? Would you date him if you walked into a McDonalds and he asked you on a date and consider him someone you would marry?? [/QUOTE]What I'm saying Myor is that he does not have alot of money ... period...because you own your own business that does not make you financially stable...actually he left a "Great Corporate Job" because he didn't want to deal with the bullshit and I totally respect that...

I cannot honestly say that I would date a window washer or the fry guy at Mickey D's...BUT I will absolutely respect them and socialize with them and treat them as I want to be treated...no if and's or buts about that....

GROOVE VICTIM

08-27-2003, 10:30 AM

Leslie, I'll be sending you flowers soon.

I'm staying out of this one for damn sure.

Peace

Keith Blackstone

08-27-2003, 10:32 AM

Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:

I cannot honestly say that I would date a window washer or the fry guy at Mickey D's...Why not? Let's get to the root reasoning here...

(rather then me answer for you)

And

08-27-2003, 10:32 AM

Originally posted by TAC:
This is a what the f*ck kinda question (topic) is that/this. Brother man, where do pull these cliche questions from, or is your life that tumultuous?
I'll read this part thank you.

And

08-27-2003, 10:34 AM

Originally posted by Leslie:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by 6 23:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by TAC:
WTF? Right back atcha. [/QUOTE]Do you get it now? [/QUOTE]Sure do ... I'm just not sure how I was to infer everything he wrote as an explanation from "wtf" following my post. No worries.

[ August 27, 2003, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: 6 23 ]

mhd

08-27-2003, 10:36 AM

can't judge a book by its occupation, among other things, i cleaned carpets and moved furniture to pay my way through law school...

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 10:36 AM

Originally posted by Keith Blackstone:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:

I cannot honestly say that I would date a window washer or the fry guy at Mickey D's...Why not? Let's get to the root reasoning here...

(rather then me answer for you) [/QUOTE]It would be virtually impossible for you to answer for me....

the root would be...why is he washing windows or working at McDonald's...is it because of a misfortune, a layoff...something that couldn't be helped beyond his control? That would be a different scenario...is he looking for a better position, is he trying to own the McDonald's, does he own the window washing company? Are these second jobs?

See if he's doing these jobs as primary source of income and he's content to doing them...more power to him...he's just not the type of guy for me...that's all nothing more or less

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 10:37 AM

Originally posted by mhd:
can't judge a book by its occupation, among other things, i cleaned carpets and moved furniture to pay my way through law school... it's not about judging...You were in school, you were motivated and ambitious...you were doing what you had to do to better your situation..

GROOVE VICTIM

08-27-2003, 10:37 AM

Originally posted by mhd:
can't judge a book by its occupation, among other things, i cleaned carpets and moved furniture to pay my way through law school... This is what I mean when I say, work to live, don't live to work!!!!!!!!!!

graemlins/thumbsup.gif

Keith Blackstone

08-27-2003, 10:39 AM

Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
It would be virtually impossible for you to answer for me....

the root would be...why is he washing windows or working at McDonald's...is it because of a misfortune, a layoff...something that couldn't be helped beyond his control? That would be a different scenario...is he looking for a better position, is he trying to own the McDonald's, does he own the window washing company? Are these second jobs?

See if he's doing these jobs as primary source of income and he's content to doing them...more power to him...he's just not the type of guy for me...that's all nothing more or less Hmmm in a post just recently (HMM LIKE PAGE 1) you stated to TAC -> "Mkay...YOU KNOW I'M WHICH-CHOO...A 100% ON THIS ONE....POWER TO THE PEOPLE...!!!!"

Then in just another post today you talk about your love for nice shoes and hand bags (not cheap and sure it might be your money that buys em but still gets across a point)

Then you turn around and say that you won't date a guy who washes windows or works at McD's...

and then... "See if he's doing these jobs as primary source of income and he's content to doing them...more power to him...he's just not the type of guy for me...that's all nothing more or less"

Umm yah... I'm outta this convo, you make perfect sense.

bottom line... socio ecomic status seems to matter.

peace or something...

[ August 27, 2003, 11:40 AM: Message edited by: Keith Blackstone ]

mhd

08-27-2003, 10:40 AM

mhd

08-27-2003, 10:42 AM

Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by mhd:
can't judge a book by its occupation, among other things, i cleaned carpets and moved furniture to pay my way through law school... it's not about judging...You were in school, you were motivated and ambitious...you were doing what you had to do to better your situation.. [/QUOTE]sounds like we agree that it depends and that a persons occupation is only a part of the person, you could be good or bad as a partner regardless of occupation or income, right?

TAC

08-27-2003, 10:44 AM

Originally posted by mhd:
cross-examination 101 Skewered...

Martin Red

08-27-2003, 10:45 AM

Originally posted by mhd:
can't judge a book by its occupation, among other things, i cleaned carpets and moved furniture to pay my way through law school... graemlins/thumbsup.gif

and people all over the place regretting choices they made , pop stars to racing car drivers that got jilted maybe due to what they did rather than who they are,
think of the regrets those people have graemlins/rofl.gif

Personally, I only go out with record shop owners icon_rofl.gif

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 10:45 AM

Originally posted by Keith Blackstone:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
It would be virtually impossible for you to answer for me....

the root would be...why is he washing windows or working at McDonald's...is it because of a misfortune, a layoff...something that couldn't be helped beyond his control? That would be a different scenario...is he looking for a better position, is he trying to own the McDonald's, does he own the window washing company? Are these second jobs?

See if he's doing these jobs as primary source of income and he's content to doing them...more power to him...he's just not the type of guy for me...that's all nothing more or less Hmmm in a post just recently (HMM LIKE PAGE 1) you stated to TAC -> "Mkay...YOU KNOW I'M WHICH-CHOO...A 100% ON THIS ONE....POWER TO THE PEOPLE...!!!!"

Then in just another post today you talk about your love for nice shoes and hand bags (not cheap and sure it might be your money that buys em but still gets across a point)

Then you turn around and say that you won't date a guy who washes windows or works at McD's...

Umm yah... I'm outta this convo, you make perfect sense. [/QUOTE]Sticking together has nothing to do with socializing...once again I will treat all people the same...I do not put people in a class...but if you are content with being the fry guy at McDonald's I WILL NOT DATE YOU....there is a difference and don't try to twist shit I said...because what I said is direct and honest...

So what I like nice things and I can buy what I want...There is absolutely no pressure for you to try to buy me this or that...because if I want them I will get them for myself...

You can't even maintain a basic lifestyle with a minimum wage job today...and if this is where your mentality is and this is where you are stuck...and McDonald's is as good as it gets for you...why would I want you to come live off of me...makes absolutely no sense to me... but it doesn't make you a bad person...we just can't be romantic...

Quit trying to correct me and put words in my mouth...

GROOVE VICTIM

08-27-2003, 10:45 AM

Didn't we learn anything when Vanessa brought home Dabnis Brickey (sp) on the Cosby Show?

I'm hearing alot of talk about Porter House steaks being served on a Trash can lid up in here.

Keith Blackstone

08-27-2003, 10:47 AM

Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
Sticking together has nothing to do with socializing...once again I will treat all people the same...I do not put people in a class...but if you are content with being the fry guy at McDonald's I WILL NOT DATE YOU....there is a difference and don't try to twist shit I said...because what I said is direct and honest...

So what I like nice things and I can buy what I want...There is absolutely no pressure for you to try to buy me this or that...because if I want them I will get them for myself...

You can't even maintain a basic lifestyle with a minimum wage job today...and if this is where your mentality is and this is where you are stuck...and McDonald's is as good as it gets for you...why would I want you to come live off of me...makes absolutely no sense to me... but it doesn't make you a bad person...we just can't be romantic...

Quit trying to correct me and put words in my mouth... bottom line... yes socio-economic status matters. Or do you have more tap dancing and side stepping to reply back with, LOL...

I'm outta here... far far too easy Ashaki... far too easy. graemlins/acclaim.gif

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 10:48 AM

Originally posted by mhd:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by mhd:
can't judge a book by its occupation, among other things, i cleaned carpets and moved furniture to pay my way through law school... it's not about judging...You were in school, you were motivated and ambitious...you were doing what you had to do to better your situation.. [/QUOTE]sounds like we agree that it depends and that a persons occupation is only a part of the person, you could be good or bad as a partner regardless of occupation or income, right? [/QUOTE]Okay..YAWL are straight tripping...

of course you can be a good or bad partner regardless of occupation....

you can be a good husband as a doctor or you can be a bad husband as lawyer...you can be a good husband as a window washer or you can be a bad husband as a McDonald's employee...

Mocambo

08-27-2003, 10:51 AM

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
Didn't we learn anything when Vanessa brought home Dabnis Brickey (sp) on the Cosby Show?

I'm hearing alot of talk about Porter House steaks being served on a Trash can lid up in here. graemlins/lol.gif I love that episode.

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 10:51 AM

Originally posted by Keith Blackstone:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
Sticking together has nothing to do with socializing...once again I will treat all people the same...I do not put people in a class...but if you are content with being the fry guy at McDonald's I WILL NOT DATE YOU....there is a difference and don't try to twist shit I said...because what I said is direct and honest...

So what I like nice things and I can buy what I want...There is absolutely no pressure for you to try to buy me this or that...because if I want them I will get them for myself...

You can't even maintain a basic lifestyle with a minimum wage job today...and if this is where your mentality is and this is where you are stuck...and McDonald's is as good as it gets for you...why would I want you to come live off of me...makes absolutely no sense to me... but it doesn't make you a bad person...we just can't be romantic...

Quit trying to correct me and put words in my mouth... bottom line... yes socio-economic status matters. Or do you have more tap dancing and side stepping to reply back with, LOL...

I'm outta here... far far too easy Ashaki... far too easy. graemlins/acclaim.gif [/QUOTE]Maybe it matters to you..but it doesn't to me...because as I've stated before...you don't have to be degree'd, have this or that, vacation here or there....but you have to be able to contribute fairly financially to the relationship...what's so difficult to understand...damn, because I think we should stick together....don't mean I gotta date any old body that I meet....shit...everybody should have standards and I do...

why am I defending myself...

yall

Leslie

08-27-2003, 10:57 AM

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
Leslie, I'll be sending you flowers soon.

I'm staying out of this one for damn sure.

Peace I knew you'd come around! LOL!! It's all good Groove. I'm sure this has already been reported to the Chairman by one of his spies....

Leslie

08-27-2003, 11:00 AM

Originally posted by GROOVE VICTIM:
Didn't we learn anything when Vanessa brought home Dabnis Brickey (sp) on the Cosby Show?

10 cool points for that reference!

Leslie

08-27-2003, 11:04 AM

Originally posted by Keith Blackstone:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
Sticking together has nothing to do with socializing...once again I will treat all people the same...I do not put people in a class...but if you are content with being the fry guy at McDonald's I WILL NOT DATE YOU....there is a difference and don't try to twist shit I said...because what I said is direct and honest...

So what I like nice things and I can buy what I want...There is absolutely no pressure for you to try to buy me this or that...because if I want them I will get them for myself...

You can't even maintain a basic lifestyle with a minimum wage job today...and if this is where your mentality is and this is where you are stuck...and McDonald's is as good as it gets for you...why would I want you to come live off of me...makes absolutely no sense to me... but it doesn't make you a bad person...we just can't be romantic...

Quit trying to correct me and put words in my mouth... bottom line... yes socio-economic status matters. Or do you have more tap dancing and side stepping to reply back with, LOL...

I'm outta here... far far too easy Ashaki... far too easy. graemlins/acclaim.gif [/QUOTE]Ahh Keithy, Keithy, Keithy.....I'll pick this up in person....

Keith Blackstone

08-27-2003, 11:11 AM

Originally posted by Leslie:
Ahh Keithy, Keithy, Keithy.....I'll pick this up in person.... stop by tonight if you can...

richierich

08-27-2003, 11:12 AM

I had read once..yes I read! Haki Madhubutti's: Black men Single Obsolete and Dangerous about how it was by design that the men were being paid less than women to undermine the black family. He was saying how men felt like they were less because they were not THE bread winners and that women that made more were buying into the myth that if you can't or don't make more than me you are not as worthy. I don't know but it sound like it could happen.

MYOR

08-27-2003, 11:17 AM

Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Keith Blackstone:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
Sticking together has nothing to do with socializing...once again I will treat all people the same...I do not put people in a class...but if you are content with being the fry guy at McDonald's I WILL NOT DATE YOU....there is a difference and don't try to twist shit I said...because what I said is direct and honest...

So what I like nice things and I can buy what I want...There is absolutely no pressure for you to try to buy me this or that...because if I want them I will get them for myself...

You can't even maintain a basic lifestyle with a minimum wage job today...and if this is where your mentality is and this is where you are stuck...and McDonald's is as good as it gets for you...why would I want you to come live off of me...makes absolutely no sense to me... but it doesn't make you a bad person...we just can't be romantic...

Quit trying to correct me and put words in my mouth... bottom line... yes socio-economic status matters. Or do you have more tap dancing and side stepping to reply back with, LOL...

I'm outta here... far far too easy Ashaki... far too easy. graemlins/acclaim.gif [/QUOTE]Maybe it matters to you..but it doesn't to me...because as I've stated before...you don't have to be degree'd, have this or that, vacation here or there....but you have to be able to contribute fairly financially to the relationship...what's so difficult to understand...damn, because I think we should stick together....don't mean I gotta date any old body that I meet....shit...everybody should have standards and I do...

why am I defending myself...

yall [/QUOTE]Because in one line your saying it doesn't matter and in the next line you saying it does...

The question was not would you talk or respect anyone of different socio-economic status. It was will you date them..

And

08-27-2003, 11:19 AM

Originally posted by MYOR:
The question was not would you talk or respect anyone of different socio-economic status. It was will you date them..I would. :D

liL Ray

08-27-2003, 11:22 AM

Originally posted by Keith Blackstone:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Leslie:
Ahh Keithy, Keithy, Keithy.....I'll pick this up in person.... stop by tonight if you can... [/QUOTE]will there be socio-economic mixing style played tonite.....

"Yeah, they are starting the socio-economic mixing portion of the party now.....yeah... graemlins/OLA.gif

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 11:22 AM

[/qb][/QUOTE]Because in one line your saying it doesn't matter and in the next line you saying it does...

The question was not would you talk or respect anyone of different socio-economic status. It was will you date them.. [/QB][/QUOTE]

Well let me think...will I date a man who work at McDonalds or wash window's...yes depending on the circumstances...but I will not bear the responsibility of motivating him to do better for himself....if this is where he wants to be for the duration of his life then that's where he'll be without me...what matters is that you are doing something about your situation and you were doing those things before I met you...never know...I may have to wash windows or work at McDonald's one day...but you better be damned sure that it was a situation that I couldn't control and I am working to better the situation and the same must go for a mate for me...

does that clear things up...

richierich

08-27-2003, 11:26 AM

But what if he's rich and don't do shit. No work but he's got money. Maybe a trust fund baby. Not motivated to work because he doen't have to is that ok??

Ken1015

08-27-2003, 11:30 AM

You people can't see the forest because of all the trees. All of this talk of jobs is beside the point. It matters not whether the body is in a lower socioeconomic caste but whether the mind is in a lower socioeconomic caste.

rob brito

08-27-2003, 11:31 AM

Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by 6 23:
For me poverty is more of a mental state. There have times I've made enough to consider myself wealthy but my mind didn't think so. There have times when I was reaching up to the poverty line and couldn't have been happier with my life.
*Love* is my only concern when it comes to relationships. I only wish *Love* was enough... :( [/QUOTE]it is.

all good things come from love...it looks for solutions and instigates wisdom.

real love will create a selfless atmosphere.

Mocambo

08-27-2003, 11:37 AM

Originally posted by Ken1015:
You people can't see the forest because of all the trees. All of this talk of jobs is beside the point. It matters not whether the body is in a lower socioeconomic caste but whether the mind is in a lower socioeconomic caste. As this old brother told(really helping)me and some other cats a long time ago, "We don't have to be at the same station, as long as we at the same state."

ngeso

08-27-2003, 12:26 PM

the way i see it is this:

increasingly the sustenance of functioning, respecting and loving long-term relationships is going to depend on
a) men seeking an identity beyond a traditional role of the provider/protector, and
b) women understanding that a man's ability to provide cannot remain a prerequisite for successful relationship.

i don't buy the assumption that men behind fast-food counters arrive there by their own ineptitude and failure of application, and hence fulfil qualification for instant, stigmatic freeloader-status. conversely i realise from experience, that when i got f*cked over, it was almost always from someone on socio-economic levels above me(!). and while this someone was (traditionally) a male, i increasingly wonder, how many women are striving up that socio-economic ladder with intent to dump on those 'beneath' them.

we need to lose the caste-consciousness in matters of relationship, in matters in general.

my 2 cents. ngeso.

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 12:42 PM

Originally posted by richierich:
But what if he's rich and don't do shit. No work but he's got money. Maybe a trust fund baby. Not motivated to work because he doen't have to is that ok?? then he's not motivated or ambitious and NO that's not enough for me...

richierich

08-27-2003, 12:46 PM

Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by richierich:
But what if he's rich and don't do shit. No work but he's got money. Maybe a trust fund baby. Not motivated to work because he doen't have to is that ok?? then he's not motivated or ambitious and NO that's not enough for me... [/QUOTE]I also think that's worse than a broke mofo. WHAT GETS ME IS THAT PEOPLE (SOME)THINK MORE OF WHAT A PERSON SAYS BECAUSE THEY HAVE MONEY.

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 12:48 PM

Originally posted by ngeso:
the way i see it is this:

increasingly the sustenance of functioning, respecting and loving long-term relationships is going to depend on
a) men seeking an identity beyond a traditional role of the provider/protector, and
b) women understanding that a man's ability to provide cannot remain a prerequisite for successful relationship.

i don't buy the assumption that men behind fast-food counters arrive there by their own ineptitude and failure of application, and hence fulfil qualification for instant, stigmatic freeloader-status. conversely i realise from experience, that when i got f*cked over, it was almost always from someone on socio-economic levels above me(!). and while this someone was (traditionally) a male, i increasingly wonder, how many women are striving up that socio-economic ladder with intent to dump on those 'beneath' them.

we need to lose the caste-consciousness in matters of relationship, in matters in general.

my 2 cents. ngeso. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a fast food worker, a janitor, a dishwasher or what have you...and I have absolutely no DESIRE nor INTENT to dump on anyone...why because I don't believe that there is anyone beneath me to begin with...I am no better than anyone else...BUT when it comes to a relationship I know what will and will not work for me...I've stated that I would date a man in these jobs depending on his circumstances...but if that's all he wants out of life good for him and he's not for me...that's all there is to that...

and that doesn't necessarily mean that a doctor or a lawyer or an investment banker is my ideal either...

I have a question...why do we (especially) Black women..and if you are not this type of woman than it's not directed toward you...think that "all the good black men" are the janitors, bus drivers, window washers ...etc...why can't "good black men" be college educated and financially stable...and college educated is not a requirement...but damn.... good credit and good work history is...

And

08-27-2003, 12:55 PM

And

08-27-2003, 12:56 PM

Originally posted by robs:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by 6 23:
For me poverty is more of a mental state. There have times I've made enough to consider myself wealthy but my mind didn't think so. There have times when I was reaching up to the poverty line and couldn't have been happier with my life.
*Love* is my only concern when it comes to relationships. I only wish *Love* was enough... :( [/QUOTE]it is.

all good things come from love...it looks for solutions and instigates wisdom.

real love will create a selfless atmosphere. [/QUOTE]graemlins/remybussi.gif

ngeso

08-27-2003, 01:08 PM

...college educated is not a requirement...but damn....good credit and good work history is... [/QB]...

ngeso

08-27-2003, 01:09 PM

6 23,

who is 'Osondi Owendi'?

[ August 27, 2003, 02:09 PM: Message edited by: ngeso ]

MYOR

08-27-2003, 01:11 PM

Originally posted by 6 23:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by robs:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:

Originally posted by 6 23:
[qb] For me poverty is more of a mental state. There have times I've made enough to consider myself wealthy but my mind didn't think so. There have times when I was reaching up to the poverty line and couldn't have been happier with my life.
*Love* is my only concern when it comes to relationships. I only wish *Love* was enough... :( it is.

all good things come from love...it looks for solutions and instigates wisdom.
[/QUOTE]We will all like to believe that .. but men are bought up to be the bread winners.. and if they are not people(friends, family) will point out that he is not..(not necessary his partner). It will start as a joke, but then after hearing it all the time it will no longer be funny. Then you get aggravated and start fighting.. bitterness will set in..

The fact of the matter is that you will have to be a very strong, confident man and woman to be in a relationship were the roles are reversed.

And

08-27-2003, 01:14 PM

Originally posted by ngeso:
6 23,

who is 'Osondi Owendi'? No one (that I know anyway) .. It's an Igbo saying that translates to:

"It pleases some, it offends other"

smile.gif

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 01:17 PM

Originally posted by ngeso:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />...college educated is not a requirement...but damn....good credit and good work history is... ... [/QB][/QUOTE]I was being sarcastic with that quote but there is some truth to it...

And

08-27-2003, 01:21 PM

Originally posted by MYOR:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by 6 23:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by robs:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:

Originally posted by 6 23:
[qb] For me poverty is more of a mental state. There have times I've made enough to consider myself wealthy but my mind didn't think so. There have times when I was reaching up to the poverty line and couldn't have been happier with my life.
*Love* is my only concern when it comes to relationships. I only wish *Love* was enough... :( it is.

all good things come from love...it looks for solutions and instigates wisdom.
[/QUOTE]We will all like to believe that .. but men are bought up to be the bread winners.. and if they are not people(friends, family) will point out that he is not..(not necessary his partner). It will start as a joke, but then after hearing it all the time it will no longer be funny. Then you get aggravated and start fighting.. bitterness will set in..

The fact of the matter is that you will have to be a very strong, confident man and woman to be in a relationship were the roles are reversed. [/QUOTE]You make a valid point about people and their opinions. People and their opinions can be an influence no one needs in their relationship especially with so many other issues to tackle. Much as we'd love to think opinions don't hurt or count, they do and can. I've seen people's opinions rip relationships apart. However and in part due to the points you've made ... I still think *LOVE* overcomes all. I'm putting it simply as *LOVE* ... but with it ... Er ... I'll refer to Robs post.

[ August 27, 2003, 02:23 PM: Message edited by: 6 23 ]

Huey P. Freeman

08-27-2003, 01:23 PM

Originally posted by Ken1015:
You people can't see the forest because of all the trees. All of this talk of jobs is beside the point. It matters not whether the body is in a lower socioeconomic caste but whether the mind is in a lower socioeconomic caste. Easily the most profound statement made on this topic. You could shift from one class to the next in a matter of weeks(playing the market or a layoff) but it is about where you are mentally that matters.

MYOR

08-27-2003, 01:23 PM

Originally posted by 6 23:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by MYOR:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by 6 23:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by robs:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:

Originally posted by 6 23:
[qb] For me poverty is more of a mental state. There have times I've made enough to consider myself wealthy but my mind didn't think so. There have times when I was reaching up to the poverty line and couldn't have been happier with my life.
*Love* is my only concern when it comes to relationships. I only wish *Love* was enough... :( it is.

all good things come from love...it looks for solutions and instigates wisdom.
[/QUOTE]We will all like to believe that .. but men are bought up to be the bread winners.. and if they are not people(friends, family) will point out that he is not..(not necessary his partner). It will start as a joke, but then after hearing it all the time it will no longer be funny. Then you get aggravated and start fighting.. bitterness will set in..

The fact of the matter is that you will have to be a very strong, confident man and woman to be in a relationship were the roles are reversed. [/QUOTE]You make a valid point about people and their opinions. People and their opinions can be an influence no one needs in their relationship especially with so many other issues to tackle. Much as we'd love to think opinions don't hurt or count, they do. I've seen people's opinions rip relationships apart. However and due to this ... I still think *LOVE* overcomes all. [/QUOTE]graemlins/rofl.gif Older people alway tell me marry for money... Love will come later.. ok it might not be with you husband but it'll come... graemlins/rofl.gif

And

08-27-2003, 01:25 PM

;)

graemlins/rofl.gif

darrow

08-27-2003, 01:31 PM

All I know is that I wouldn't date anyone who thinks small. If for a given person "thinking small" somehow translates into...

* not wanting to travel/explore
* not wanting to talk about Why instead of just What
* not wanting to experience education, whether it's in a formal setting or self taught
* a fixation on problems instead of problem-solving
* an overall lack of drive toward's self-improvement

..then I doubt "oooh...date material!" is what I'd be thinking.

Are the things I mention able to be linked or closely-tied to socio-economic status? I don't really think so. Rich or poor, you can be F'd up no matter what.

Koffy Brown

08-27-2003, 01:34 PM

Originally posted by darrow:
All I know is that I wouldn't date anyone who thinks small. If for a given person "thinking small" somehow translates into...

* not wanting to travel/explore
* not wanting to talk about Why instead of just What
* not wanting to experience education, whether it's in a formal setting or self taught
* a fixation on problems instead of problem-solving
* an overall lack of drive toward's self-improvement

..then I doubt "oooh...date material!" is what I'd be thinking.

Are the things I mention able to be linked or closely-tied to socio-economic status? I don't really think so. Rich or poor, you can be F'd up no matter what. DID I OR DID I NOT SAY THIS...

IF I DID NOT ... this is what I meant...

MYOR

08-27-2003, 01:37 PM

Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by darrow:
All I know is that I wouldn't date anyone who thinks small. If for a given person "thinking small" somehow translates into...

* not wanting to travel/explore
* not wanting to talk about Why instead of just What
* not wanting to experience education, whether it's in a formal setting or self taught
* a fixation on problems instead of problem-solving
* an overall lack of drive toward's self-improvement

..then I doubt "oooh...date material!" is what I'd be thinking.

Are the things I mention able to be linked or closely-tied to socio-economic status? I don't really think so. Rich or poor, you can be F'd up no matter what. DID I OR DID I NOT SAY THIS...

IF I DID NOT ... this is what I meant... [/QUOTE]graemlins/rofl.gif icon_rofl.gif Thanks Darrow

mhd

08-27-2003, 01:39 PM

Originally posted by Ken1015:
You people can't see the forest because of all the trees. All of this talk of jobs is beside the point. It matters not whether the body is in a lower socioeconomic caste but whether the mind is in a lower socioeconomic caste. what exactly is a mind that is in a "lower socioeconomic caste"? does income determine mind?

And

08-27-2003, 01:41 PM

See Darrow ... I told you had a way with words.

graemlins/grinyes.gif

And

08-27-2003, 01:43 PM

Originally posted by MYOR:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by darrow:
All I know is that I wouldn't date anyone who thinks small. If for a given person "thinking small" somehow translates into...

* not wanting to travel/explore
* not wanting to talk about Why instead of just What
* not wanting to experience education, whether it's in a formal setting or self taught
* a fixation on problems instead of problem-solving
* an overall lack of drive toward's self-improvement

..then I doubt "oooh...date material!" is what I'd be thinking.

Are the things I mention able to be linked or closely-tied to socio-economic status? I don't really think so. Rich or poor, you can be F'd up no matter what. DID I OR DID I NOT SAY THIS...

IF I DID NOT ... this is what I meant... [/QUOTE]graemlins/rofl.gif icon_rofl.gif Thanks Darrow [/QUOTE]Laughing with, laughing with ... icon_rofl.gif

formerly known as kenspank

08-27-2003, 01:49 PM

there's an article related to this in one of those heart and soul or honey magazines.

socio-economic status is just a label. we are all led to believe that it should mean some shit, but often it doesn't. we think rich people are fresh as hell and po people just suck ass, but often we use these broad and incorrect generalization to feel secure in a world of uncertainty.

we've all had an experience with the IT guy at our place of employment. they really know their way around a network, but suck at social skills. i know a computer guy who 6 figures, but has got no friends. what the hell is that? when you have a computer problem or a question they step to you like you ain't shit and they're god. then they get fired a month later.

anyway in my life, i compare my grandfather to my father. my grandfather was a doorman with very little formal education. he had my mother with my grandmother and provided for my grandmother's 6 other children from a previous marriage. they always had busfare and food to eat. he put my mother through private school, owned some rental properties, owned a laundromat, and was a preacher at a storefront church. he was kind and loved by many.

on the other hand, my father is the oldest of nine and holds a jd/llm in taxation from depaul university. we aren't very close. he doesn't want to talk with me until i have three degrees just like him, so we haven't spoken in few years. he's broke and has had 6 kids by three different women. my father has always been a community activist and has even run for congressman twice. he's not all bad. i just think its more important to be able to connect with people than it is to have a lot information stuck in your head.

so much of my relationship with my father has been based on jumping through hoops for him. living up to his standards and all that kinda bullshit. i live to fulfill my own spirit cuz trying to live up to other people expectations is bogus as hell. so my father is catching an L right now. oh well.

meanwhile, my grandfather always met me on the level. he always had encouraging things to say. he was kind enough to treat me to things i enjoyed. because he never positioned himself in such a way that made me feel he was better than me, it made it easier for me to get close to him while he was alive. he died when i was 10.

my relationship with my brother has deteriorated as his education status increased. he has a phd now and a position in harlem and we hardly ever speak. however, i tend to speak more frequently with my friends who have occupations they enjoyed, but don't gobble up all of their time.

if an education give insecure people the audacity to think they're are better than other people than i say education can suck and egg!

often under that veil of self-aggrandisement lie individuals who aren't even all that interesting to begin with and have the gaul to judge other people based on their status in society.

SuzanneT

08-27-2003, 01:49 PM

Originally posted by darrow:
All I know is that I wouldn't date anyone who thinks small. If for a given person "thinking small" somehow translates into...

* not wanting to travel/explore
* not wanting to talk about Why instead of just What
* not wanting to experience education, whether it's in a formal setting or self taught
* a fixation on problems instead of problem-solving
* an overall lack of drive toward's self-improvement

..then I doubt "oooh...date material!" is what I'd be thinking.

Are the things I mention able to be linked or closely-tied to socio-economic status? I don't really think so. Rich or poor, you can be F'd up no matter what. Darrow,
That was perfect. You expressed my thoughts exactly. graemlins/thumbsup.gif

MYOR

08-27-2003, 02:01 PM

Originally posted by kenspank:
there's an article related to this in one of those heart and soul or honey magazines.

socio-economic status is just a label. we are all led to believe that it should mean some shit, but often it doesn't. we think rich people are fresh as hell and po people just suck ass, but often we use these broad and incorrect generalization to feel secure in a world of uncertainty.

we've all had an experience with the IT guy at our place of employment. they really know their way around a network, but suck at social skills. i know a computer guy who 6 figures, but has got no friends. what the hell is that? when you have a computer problem or a question they step to you like you ain't shit and they're god. then they get fired a month later.

anyway in my life, i compare my grandfather to my father. my grandfather was a doorman with very little formal education. he had my mother with my grandmother and provided for my grandmother's 6 other children from a previous marriage. they always had busfare and food to eat. he put my mother through private school, owned some rental properties, owned a laundromat, and was a preacher at a storefront church. he was kind and loved by many.

on the other hand, my father is the oldest of nine and holds a jd/llm in taxation from depaul university. we aren't very close. he doesn't want to talk with me until i have three degrees just like him, so we haven't spoken in few years. he's broke and has had 6 kids by three different women. my father has always been a community activist and has even run for congressman twice. he's not all bad. i just think its more important to be able to connect with people than it is to have a lot information stuck in your head.

so much of my relationship with my father has been based on jumping through hoops for him. living up to his standards and all that kinda bullshit. i live to fulfill my own spirit cuz trying to live up to other people expectations is bogus as hell. so my father is catching an L right now. oh well.

meanwhile, my grandfather always met me on the level. he always had encouraging things to say. he was kind enough to treat me to things i enjoyed. because he never positioned himself in such a way that made me feel he was better than me, it made it easier for me to get close to him while he was alive. he died when i was 10.

my relationship with my brother has deteriorated as his education status increased. he has a phd now and a position in harlem and we hardly ever speak. however, i tend to speak more frequently with my friends who have occupations they enjoyed, but don't gobble up all of their time.

if an education give insecure people the audacity to think they're are better than other people than i say education can suck and egg!

often under that veil of self-aggrandisement lie individuals who aren't even all that interesting to begin with and have the gaul to judge other people based on their status in society. graemlins/respekt.gif

Sometimes people can have a million degrees and still be so clueless..

nev m

08-27-2003, 02:09 PM

Originally posted by AshakiMzuri:
After you reach a certain status don't you network and socialize with people usually in that social class...

Just asking....

I'm not into dividing people into classes...BUT you have to be able to contribute in a fair way financially to the relationship... Absolutely not! Class is all bollocks.

Could give loads of examples from my own life, and others from both sides of the fence but it's tedious, and I can't type fast enough

Community is the missing word these days. That is all that's missing. All people, all pulling together. You don't need a degree to work it out but few people grasp it these days. Instead the classes poke at each other from above, and below.

I worked for a multi-cultural community radio station once. It was the first of it's kind. Guess what? It fell flat on it's ass because of the greed heads that ran it. They didn't give a fcuk about anything other than the money they made from it. Who cared? we did, and guess what? the motherfickers robbed us blind.

It takes every kind of person to form a true community. Those that are well equipped take of those that are not.Im looking forward to seeing it the next life.

[ August 27, 2003, 03:18 PM: Message edited by: nev m ]

And

08-27-2003, 02:09 PM

By Ken: "i just think its more important to be able to connect with people than it is to have a lot information stuck in your head."

I agree.

jurren

08-27-2003, 04:34 PM

the most important thing i'm always looking for in a woman in a serious relationship is the ability to have a conversation with me on the same level. no matter wether you're both drunk, among friends, discussing some political issue, or making jokes.
this does not mean we'll always have to agree on everything, but it does mean that when i'm cassually dropping some joke in a conversation, and all i get in return is a blank stare, the relationship has no future.

so to be able to have a conversation with me on the same level, she'll have to be about as smart as me. this will often mean that she'll probably be part of the same socio-economic group as me, but that's not a rule.

jurren