What do you consider cheating? [Archive]

Discogoddess

08-22-2003, 10:46 AM

Originally posted by MYOR:
As long as you don't make the verbal physical.. You are not cheating... I think verbal/cerebral stuff CAN be cheating in some situations. Some folk fall in love and never get to the get-down.

A good rule of measure: if your spouse/sig O. heard/read what you said/wrote to that special friend, would they be okay with it? If not, then you might be entering the cheating zone.

martin

08-22-2003, 10:48 AM

I used to think that as long as I didn't stick it in I wasn't cheating. Now I'm in another relationship (and married) and a lot happier.

I would agree with 623 Myor and ChiJam now.

JMJ

08-22-2003, 10:50 AM

Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by MYOR:
As long as you don't make the verbal physical.. You are not cheating... I think verbal/cerebral stuff CAN be cheating in some situations. Some folk fall in love and never get to the get-down.

A good rule of measure: if your spouse/sig O. heard/read what you said/wrote to that special friend, would they be okay with it? If not, then you might be entering the cheating zone. [/QUOTE]Stop sending me love letters. I mean it.....JMJ

i.be.me

08-22-2003, 10:55 AM

It depends on your relationship with your significant other, but the moment the contact/communication with another becomes secretive - that's trouble.

Huey P. Freeman

08-22-2003, 11:08 AM

Originally posted by Michael J. Carmona:
Many people have different definitions of cheating. Is conversating on phone cheating? Emailing back and forth cheating? What's your view. If you are conversating or emailing and the underlying intent is more than friendship by either party I would call it cheating.

beaniboy67

08-22-2003, 11:15 AM

Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by MYOR:
As long as you don't make the verbal physical.. You are not cheating... I think verbal/cerebral stuff CAN be cheating in some situations. Some folk fall in love and never get to the get-down.

A good rule of measure: if your spouse/sig O. heard/read what you said/wrote to that special friend, would they be okay with it? If not, then you might be entering the cheating zone. [/QUOTE]Stop sending me love letters. I mean it.....JMJ [/QUOTE]graemlins/rofl.gif

beaniboy67

08-22-2003, 11:18 AM

If you are not going to have a physical relationship with this person and dont have any ideas about having one with them then youre concience should be clear my friend!

I have flirted with girls and sent emails or had "lets say funny conversations with them" but i would not for one minute ever think about cheating in a physical manner!

If you feel like this then dont worry about it!
I would also add if youre gf doesnt trust you enough to believe this then you are al;ready ona rocky road to destruction!

Peace hope its cool!! :D

Terry James

08-22-2003, 11:21 AM

[ August 22, 2003, 12:23 PM: Message edited by: Terry J ]

djklas

08-22-2003, 11:22 AM

This is so wierd that this topic is up here today... cause I just went out with this girl last night who has a boyfriend... I know it's not a good thing to do but I'm really digging this person.... and she seems to be digging me.... I'm still buzzin just from kicking it with her but I know when I come down I'm gonna start flexing cause of the situation....
If the tables were turned I know I woun't want a girl that would cheat on me but I couldn't help it.... I told her to go, but she didn't and it was just.....damn.

Terry James

08-22-2003, 11:22 AM

Originally posted by Terry J:
Players Rule book states;

1. If using a condom, it's not cheating.

RATIONALE: Skin has to make direct contact (Raw dog) to be considered cheating.

EXCEPTION: If engaging in "Raw Dog" do not insert more than 3/4 of the tip.

If you follow this rule, your are in compliance. biggrinangel.gif

beaniboy67

08-22-2003, 11:29 AM

Originally posted by djklas:
This is so wierd that this topic is up here today... cause I just went out with this girl last night who has a boyfriend... I know it's not a good thing to do but I'm really digging this person.... and she seems to be digging me.... I'm still buzzin just from kicking it with her but I know when I come down I'm gonna start flexing cause of the situation....
If the tables were turned I know I woun't want a girl that would cheat on me but I couldn't help it.... I told her to go, but she didn't and it was just.....damn. That could end in disaster!Not the game to play at all.If you are dating her and she has a bf how u ever gonna trust her.1 year down the line you will be working youre brain overtime thinking "will she do it to me too,she done it to him,im no different".This is a bad way to start a relationship but hey dude if shes hot and you dont mind morals then go for it! smile.gif

Discogoddess

08-22-2003, 11:31 AM

JMJ

08-22-2003, 11:35 AM

Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by MYOR:
As long as you don't make the verbal physical.. You are not cheating... I think verbal/cerebral stuff CAN be cheating in some situations. Some folk fall in love and never get to the get-down.

A good rule of measure: if your spouse/sig O. heard/read what you said/wrote to that special friend, would they be okay with it? If not, then you might be entering the cheating zone. [/QUOTE]Stop sending me love letters. I mean it.....JMJ [/QUOTE]I can't. Your buzz haircut is sooooooooo very fine. graemlins/1luvu.gif [/QUOTE]Stop talking dirty to me......JMJ

Discogoddess

08-22-2003, 11:35 AM

Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by MYOR:
As long as you don't make the verbal physical.. You are not cheating... I think verbal/cerebral stuff CAN be cheating in some situations. Some folk fall in love and never get to the get-down.

A good rule of measure: if your spouse/sig O. heard/read what you said/wrote to that special friend, would they be okay with it? If not, then you might be entering the cheating zone. [/QUOTE]Stop sending me love letters. I mean it.....JMJ [/QUOTE]I can't. Your buzz haircut is sooooooooo very fine. graemlins/1luvu.gif [/QUOTE]Stop talking dirty to me......JMJ [/QUOTE]The gentleman doth protesteth too much...shall I release the PMs as proof? ;)

djklas

08-22-2003, 11:39 AM

Originally posted by beaniboy67:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by djklas:
This is so wierd that this topic is up here today... cause I just went out with this girl last night who has a boyfriend... I know it's not a good thing to do but I'm really digging this person.... and she seems to be digging me.... I'm still buzzin just from kicking it with her but I know when I come down I'm gonna start flexing cause of the situation....
If the tables were turned I know I woun't want a girl that would cheat on me but I couldn't help it.... I told her to go, but she didn't and it was just.....damn. That could end in disaster!Not the game to play at all.If you are dating her and she has a bf how u ever gonna trust her.1 year down the line you will be working youre brain overtime thinking "will she do it to me too,she done it to him,im no different".This is a bad way to start a relationship but hey dude if shes hot and you dont mind morals then go for it! smile.gif [/QUOTE]I didn't **** her or anything we just talked for hours and then stared at eachother for a long time... I haven't been with alot of girls...at least that I cared for at all... this wasn't how it was supposed to go down...

JMJ

08-22-2003, 11:39 AM

Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by MYOR:
As long as you don't make the verbal physical.. You are not cheating... I think verbal/cerebral stuff CAN be cheating in some situations. Some folk fall in love and never get to the get-down.

A good rule of measure: if your spouse/sig O. heard/read what you said/wrote to that special friend, would they be okay with it? If not, then you might be entering the cheating zone. [/QUOTE]Stop sending me love letters. I mean it.....JMJ [/QUOTE]I can't. Your buzz haircut is sooooooooo very fine. graemlins/1luvu.gif [/QUOTE]Stop talking dirty to me......JMJ [/QUOTE]The gentleman doth protesteth too much...shall I release the PMs as proof? ;) [/QUOTE]Self-incrimination is a noble, but foolish gesture. You WILL get over me, eventually......JMJ

beaniboy67

08-22-2003, 11:41 AM

beaniboy67

08-22-2003, 11:42 AM

Originally posted by djklas:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by beaniboy67:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by djklas:
This is so wierd that this topic is up here today... cause I just went out with this girl last night who has a boyfriend... I know it's not a good thing to do but I'm really digging this person.... and she seems to be digging me.... I'm still buzzin just from kicking it with her but I know when I come down I'm gonna start flexing cause of the situation....
If the tables were turned I know I woun't want a girl that would cheat on me but I couldn't help it.... I told her to go, but she didn't and it was just.....damn. That could end in disaster!Not the game to play at all.If you are dating her and she has a bf how u ever gonna trust her.1 year down the line you will be working youre brain overtime thinking "will she do it to me too,she done it to him,im no different".This is a bad way to start a relationship but hey dude if shes hot and you dont mind morals then go for it! smile.gif [/QUOTE]I didn't **** her or anything we just talked for hours and then stared at eachother for a long time... I haven't been with alot of girls...at least that I cared for at all... this wasn't how it was supposed to go down... [/QUOTE]well go for it!! :D

JMJ

08-22-2003, 11:43 AM

Originally posted by beaniboy67:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by MYOR:
As long as you don't make the verbal physical.. You are not cheating... I think verbal/cerebral stuff CAN be cheating in some situations. Some folk fall in love and never get to the get-down.

A good rule of measure: if your spouse/sig O. heard/read what you said/wrote to that special friend, would they be okay with it? If not, then you might be entering the cheating zone. [/QUOTE]Stop sending me love letters. I mean it.....JMJ [/QUOTE]I can't. Your buzz haircut is sooooooooo very fine. graemlins/1luvu.gif [/QUOTE]yeh thats some haircut man!

Check JMj out in 20 years time below!!

http://www.disasterrelief.org/Disasters/010510WMDhearings/Images/joeallbaugh.jpg [/QUOTE]Stalker.....JMJ AR15firing.gif

beaniboy67

08-22-2003, 11:45 AM

Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by beaniboy67:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by MYOR:
As long as you don't make the verbal physical.. You are not cheating... I think verbal/cerebral stuff CAN be cheating in some situations. Some folk fall in love and never get to the get-down.

A good rule of measure: if your spouse/sig O. heard/read what you said/wrote to that special friend, would they be okay with it? If not, then you might be entering the cheating zone. [/QUOTE]Stop sending me love letters. I mean it.....JMJ [/QUOTE]I can't. Your buzz haircut is sooooooooo very fine. graemlins/1luvu.gif [/QUOTE]yeh thats some haircut man!

Check JMj out in 20 years time below!!

http://www.disasterrelief.org/Disasters/010510WMDhearings/Images/joeallbaugh.jpg [/QUOTE]Stalker.....JMJ AR15firing.gif [/QUOTE]You better grow tits and an ass first and change youre name too sarah! :D
I new you would like that one!! graemlins/tongueout.gif

JMJ

08-22-2003, 11:47 AM

Originally posted by beaniboy67:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by beaniboy67:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Discogoddess:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by MYOR:
As long as you don't make the verbal physical.. You are not cheating... I think verbal/cerebral stuff CAN be cheating in some situations. Some folk fall in love and never get to the get-down.

A good rule of measure: if your spouse/sig O. heard/read what you said/wrote to that special friend, would they be okay with it? If not, then you might be entering the cheating zone. [/QUOTE]Stop sending me love letters. I mean it.....JMJ [/QUOTE]I can't. Your buzz haircut is sooooooooo very fine. graemlins/1luvu.gif [/QUOTE]yeh thats some haircut man!

Check JMj out in 20 years time below!!

http://www.disasterrelief.org/Disasters/010510WMDhearings/Images/joeallbaugh.jpg [/QUOTE]Stalker.....JMJ AR15firing.gif [/QUOTE]You better grow tits and an ass first and change youre name too sarah! :D
I new you would like that one!! graemlins/tongueout.gif [/QUOTE]You've single-handedly ruined this topic. Shame on you......JMJ graemlins/jpshakehead.gif

08-22-2003, 12:01 PM

Originally posted by JMJ:
You've single-handedly ruined this topic. Shame on you......JMJ graemlins/jpshakehead.gif Yall quit jackin my shit!!! mad1.gif

[ August 22, 2003, 01:03 PM: Message edited by: Michael J. Carmona ]

beaniboy67

08-22-2003, 01:08 PM

Originally posted by Michael J. Carmona:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
You've single-handedly ruined this topic. Shame on you......JMJ graemlins/jpshakehead.gif Yall quit jackin my shit!!! mad1.gif [/QUOTE]lol sorry dude!!Its not me biggrinangel.gif Its that JMJ dude and his lady idols!

Anyways back tou youre topic!Hope everythings cool! :D

08-22-2003, 01:09 PM

Everything is fine I just wanted to hear from the experts. graemlins/bolt.gif

djklas

08-22-2003, 02:11 PM

I still need some help here... I'm turning into a mental werck .... I just told her that I need to chill for a second.... that I really like her, but I know she has to do what's right for her... but now I'm worried that she will take that ....and just chill on it for good.... maybe that would be the right thing... I just don't ****ing know.... :(

08-22-2003, 02:15 PM

Quit jackin my shit, Ese? Open up a new topic... graemlins/spanka.gif graemlins/rofl.gif

JMJ

08-22-2003, 02:16 PM

Originally posted by djklas:
I still need some help here... I'm turning into a mental werck .... I just told her that I need to chill for a second.... that I really like her, but I know she has to do what's right for her... but now I'm worried that she will take that ....and just chill on it for good.... maybe that would be the right thing... I just don't ****ing know.... :( You may need to stare at her some more.....JMJ

And

08-22-2003, 02:32 PM

icon_rofl.gif @ Beaniboy67

And

08-22-2003, 02:33 PM

Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by djklas:
I still need some help here... I'm turning into a mental werck .... I just told her that I need to chill for a second.... that I really like her, but I know she has to do what's right for her... but now I'm worried that she will take that ....and just chill on it for good.... maybe that would be the right thing... I just don't ****ing know.... :( You may need to stare at her some more.....JMJ [/QUOTE]Hahahaha ... biggrinangel.gif

Digiman

08-22-2003, 02:44 PM

I think if you had sex with your girlfriend's best friend for 1 week solid, videotaped it, burnt it onto DVD and then posted it to her house and on an internet site that you had set up registered as 'www.meandmygirlfriendsbestfriendhavingsex.com' then you could consider that cheating.

Alanda Marquette from DiscoLadyLand

08-22-2003, 02:47 PM

Anything that you do with another person that you do not do with your significant other, without telling them is cheating.

Pete Nice

08-22-2003, 02:51 PM

mr. carmona,
here's a scenario i went through a few months ago:
this girl that i've known for years has a boyfriend and she would call me on the phone and what not. well eventaully we started having phone sex when he wasn't around and she would even use "toys". we never did anything outside the phone, except one time we hung out and i smacked her ass, but she said that wasn't right. so would you consider that cheating?
once i met her boyfriend, i stopped messing around. i got guilty about the whole thing.
on side note i cheated on a girl i was seeing with the phone girl.

JMJ

08-22-2003, 02:52 PM

Originally posted by DiscoLady:
Anything that you do with another person that you do not do with your significant other, without telling them is cheating. Like bowling??.....JMJ

darrow

08-22-2003, 03:03 PM

To me, cheating in essence is breaking the agreed upon rules/expectations of the game, even if the game is the relationship/dating/marriage game. The rules could be different from relationship to relationship. If flirting is agreed upon no-no, then I'm guessing in that relationship, flirting with someone outside of the relationship would be cheating. (sounds drastic I know)

Oh...for me, cheating is definitely the physical and also the whole cybersex/phonesex/lookingforvirtualhookups thing. That mess detracts a whole lot of energy from a relationship. I'm fairly territorial though.

[ August 22, 2003, 04:05 PM: Message edited by: darrow ]

Alanda Marquette from DiscoLadyLand

08-22-2003, 03:15 PM

Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DiscoLady:
Anything that you do with another person that you do not do with your significant other, without telling them is cheating. Like bowling??.....JMJ [/QUOTE]especially bowling, playing with balls and pins without consent that is just a sin graemlins/tongueout.gif graemlins/rofl.gif

JMJ

08-22-2003, 03:32 PM

Originally posted by DiscoLady:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DiscoLady:
Anything that you do with another person that you do not do with your significant other, without telling them is cheating. Like bowling??.....JMJ [/QUOTE]especially bowling, playing with balls and pins without consent that is just a sin graemlins/tongueout.gif graemlins/rofl.gif [/QUOTE]Especially 16 pound balls. They clank when I walk and cause my back to hurt......JMJ

lyot

08-22-2003, 03:41 PM

well, Klas man, I hope you get this situation sorted out. The best advice I think I can give you is to sit back a bit and relax a bit. Swift action probably is not the best way..

The 'cheating' issue has also intruded my life recently. Having a relation of one year and a half, I recently met a girl which I felt attracted to. Even though I met her at 'neutral' territory and didn't really flirt with her, I felt deep down that she was a potential danger to my relation. At a certain moment I give her a CD and soon after she starts emailing me. Because I feel this could get out of hand, I write her the truth..That I feel attracted to her, and that I think it's better we'd have no contact anymore. I inform my girlfriend of the fact I will not have any contact anymore with this girl (my girlfriend knew that she was hitting on me, but didn't know at that time that I felt attracted to her). One week later, the girl writes me, probably with the aim to restore contact a bit..I do write her back, in a somewhat flirty way. A couple of days, my girlfriend finds out about this renewed emailing, and she feels cheated. Result, all hell broke loose and we ended split up. We still are.

I think I realise that she was right in feeling cheated, both about the fact that I hadn't told her about the feelings I had for this girl and the fact that I had, without mentionning her, sent another email to the girl.

She says I've been totally dis-loyal to her and I've cheated on her..

[ August 22, 2003, 04:50 PM: Message edited by: lyot ]

Alanda Marquette from DiscoLadyLand

08-22-2003, 03:45 PM

Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DiscoLady:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DiscoLady:
Anything that you do with another person that you do not do with your significant other, without telling them is cheating. Like bowling??.....JMJ [/QUOTE]especially bowling, playing with balls and pins without consent that is just a sin graemlins/tongueout.gif graemlins/rofl.gif [/QUOTE]Especially 16 pound balls. They clank when I walk and cause my back to hurt......JMJ [/QUOTE]You have no business pinning 16lb balls to you anyway graemlins/tongueout.gif

JMJ

08-22-2003, 03:54 PM

Originally posted by DiscoLady:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DiscoLady:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DiscoLady:
Anything that you do with another person that you do not do with your significant other, without telling them is cheating. Like bowling??.....JMJ [/QUOTE]especially bowling, playing with balls and pins without consent that is just a sin graemlins/tongueout.gif graemlins/rofl.gif [/QUOTE]Especially 16 pound balls. They clank when I walk and cause my back to hurt......JMJ [/QUOTE]You have no business pinning 16lb balls to you anyway graemlins/tongueout.gif [/QUOTE]It took you 13 minutes to come up with that weak-ass retort?? Straighten up, or I'll start abusing someone else. I have spoken.....JMJ AR15firing.gif

Alanda Marquette from DiscoLadyLand

08-22-2003, 04:00 PM

Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DiscoLady:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DiscoLady:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DiscoLady:
Anything that you do with another person that you do not do with your significant other, without telling them is cheating. Like bowling??.....JMJ [/QUOTE]especially bowling, playing with balls and pins without consent that is just a sin graemlins/tongueout.gif graemlins/rofl.gif [/QUOTE]Especially 16 pound balls. They clank when I walk and cause my back to hurt......JMJ [/QUOTE]You have no business pinning 16lb balls to you anyway graemlins/tongueout.gif [/QUOTE]It took you 13 minutes to come up with that weak-ass retort?? Straighten up, or I'll start abusing someone else. I have spoken.....JMJ AR15firing.gif [/QUOTE]Have you had your fiber today? You seem to be a little cranky

djklas

08-22-2003, 04:02 PM

Originally posted by lyot:
well, Klas man, I hope you get this situation sorted out. The best advice I think I can give you is to sit back a bit and relax a bit. Swift action probably is not the best way..

The 'cheating' issue has also intruded my life recently. Having a relation of one year and a half, I recently met a girl which I felt attracted to. Even though I met her at 'neutral' territory and didn't really flirt with her, I felt deep down that she was a potential danger to my relation. At a certain moment I give her a CD and soon after she starts emailing me. Because I feel this could get out of hand, I write her the truth..That I feel attracted to her, and that I think it's better we'd have no contact anymore. I inform my girlfriend of the fact I will not have any contact anymore with this girl (my girlfriend knew that she was hitting on me, but didn't know at that time that I felt attracted to her). One week later, the girl writes me, probably with the aim to restore contact a bit..I do write her back, in a somewhat flirty way. A couple of days, my girlfriend finds out about this renewed emailing, and she feels cheated. Result, all hell broke loose and we ended split up. We still are.

I think I realise that she was right in feeling cheated, both about the fact that I hadn't told her about the feelings I had for this girl and the fact that I had, without mentionning her, sent another email to the girl.

She says I've been totally dis-loyal to her and I've cheated on her.. Lyot, bro thank you for sharing I had no idea that this was the cause of your split....I am torn cause I know I should sit back and give it some time like you say, but I feel like I need to see her.... I've never had a connection with a girl like I did with her.....

JMJ

08-22-2003, 04:04 PM

Originally posted by DiscoLady:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DiscoLady:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DiscoLady:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JMJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by DiscoLady:
Anything that you do with another person that you do not do with your significant other, without telling them is cheating. Like bowling??.....JMJ [/QUOTE]especially bowling, playing with balls and pins without consent that is just a sin graemlins/tongueout.gif graemlins/rofl.gif [/QUOTE]Especially 16 pound balls. They clank when I walk and cause my back to hurt......JMJ [/QUOTE]You have no business pinning 16lb balls to you anyway graemlins/tongueout.gif [/QUOTE]It took you 13 minutes to come up with that weak-ass retort?? Straighten up, or I'll start abusing someone else. I have spoken.....JMJ AR15firing.gif [/QUOTE]Have you had your fiber today? You seem to be a little cranky [/QUOTE]Would you like to see my stool???.....JMJ

JMJ

08-22-2003, 04:05 PM

Originally posted by djklas:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by lyot:
well, Klas man, I hope you get this situation sorted out. The best advice I think I can give you is to sit back a bit and relax a bit. Swift action probably is not the best way..

The 'cheating' issue has also intruded my life recently. Having a relation of one year and a half, I recently met a girl which I felt attracted to. Even though I met her at 'neutral' territory and didn't really flirt with her, I felt deep down that she was a potential danger to my relation. At a certain moment I give her a CD and soon after she starts emailing me. Because I feel this could get out of hand, I write her the truth..That I feel attracted to her, and that I think it's better we'd have no contact anymore. I inform my girlfriend of the fact I will not have any contact anymore with this girl (my girlfriend knew that she was hitting on me, but didn't know at that time that I felt attracted to her). One week later, the girl writes me, probably with the aim to restore contact a bit..I do write her back, in a somewhat flirty way. A couple of days, my girlfriend finds out about this renewed emailing, and she feels cheated. Result, all hell broke loose and we ended split up. We still are.

I think I realise that she was right in feeling cheated, both about the fact that I hadn't told her about the feelings I had for this girl and the fact that I had, without mentionning her, sent another email to the girl.

She says I've been totally dis-loyal to her and I've cheated on her.. Lyot, bro thank you for sharing I had no idea that this was the cause of your split....I am torn cause I know I should sit back and give it some time like you say, but I feel like I need to see her.... I've never had a connection with a girl like I did with her..... [/QUOTE]Incessant staring will do that......JMJ

djklas

08-22-2003, 04:10 PM

Pete Nice

08-22-2003, 04:11 PM

[/qb][/QUOTE]Lyot, bro thank you for sharing I had no idea that this was the cause of your split....I am torn cause I know I should sit back and give it some time like you say, but I feel like I need to see her.... I've never had a connection with a girl like I did with her..... [/QB][/QUOTE]
hey klas,
be careful man. even if you do wind up with her, it's a bad way to start out. handle things proper and make sure she does. i was in the same spot you are in now and i got burned the same exact way. it was bad. do on to others.... cliche, but can be so true. just another perspective. think how this other cat is gonna feel when it all comes down. peace.

Alanda Marquette from DiscoLadyLand

08-22-2003, 04:12 PM

JMJ graemlins/spanka.gif graemlins/spanka.gif graemlins/spanka.gif

Ish

08-22-2003, 04:20 PM

Klas, as much as it is rough to be cheated on, if the girl is feelin you then she may not really know what she wants.

Yall could have a connection that she might not have with the other guy.

The problem is that if we acted on every connection we ever feel, we might never stay in a relationship, at least thats how I feel.

But I think you gotta go with what is real. You said yourself you have not felt this before, and she is a grown adult, she can take responsibility for her other relationship. In the meantime though I really cant criticize for someone in your shoes to just follow the existing movement, so to speak.

I dunno, I am of the "Things happen for a reason" approach.

Ive been seeing a girl long distance for 3 years now, and I will admit I never felt like I was in love the way some people speak of it, but I know that life makes sense with this person and I exchanging for now, so I dont feel a need to remove myself from the situation.

djmarbll

08-22-2003, 04:37 PM

Originally posted by ChiJAM:
If the tables were turned and you wouldn't get pissed-off at your significant other for doing the exact same thing, it probably isn't cheating.

ChiJAM That's probably the best definition. graemlins/thumbsup.gif

djklas

08-22-2003, 04:42 PM

Originally posted by square root:

hey klas,
be careful man. even if you do wind up with her, it's a bad way to start out. handle things proper and make sure she does. i was in the same spot you are in now and i got burned the same exact way. it was bad. do on to others.... cliche, but can be so true. just another perspective. think how this other cat is gonna feel when it all comes down. peace. Hey Squareroot, I hear you...how did you get burned? and as for the other dude...it may sound real ****ed up but I haven't given thought one about him... just her and what's right for her...

[ August 22, 2003, 05:50 PM: Message edited by: djklas ]

djklas

08-22-2003, 04:48 PM

Originally posted by Ish:
Klas, as much as it is rough to be cheated on, if the girl is feelin you then she may not really know what she wants.

Yall could have a connection that she might not have with the other guy.

The problem is that if we acted on every connection we ever feel, we might never stay in a relationship, at least thats how I feel.

But I think you gotta go with what is real. You said yourself you have not felt this before, and she is a grown adult, she can take responsibility for her other relationship. In the meantime though I really cant criticize for someone in your shoes to just follow the existing movement, so to speak.

I dunno, I am of the "Things happen for a reason" approach.

Ive been seeing a girl long distance for 3 years now, and I will admit I never felt like I was in love the way some people speak of it, but I know that life makes sense with this person and I exchanging for now, so I dont feel a need to remove myself from the situation. Ish, I have to say I've liked your response the best so far...probably cause it's closest to what I want to hear... I think things happen for a reason too.... and I kinda believe in fate .... that's why even though we're both kind of trippin' I told her that I know it's going to end up OK no matter what happens... smile.gif

Pete Nice

08-22-2003, 05:03 PM

Originally posted by djklas:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by square root:

hey klas,
be careful man. even if you do wind up with her, it's a bad way to start out. handle things proper and make sure she does. i was in the same spot you are in now and i got burned the same exact way. it was bad. do on to others.... cliche, but can be so true. just another perspective. think how this other cat is gonna feel when it all comes down. peace. Hey Squareroot, I hear you...how did you get burned? and as for the other dude...it may sound real ****ed up but I haven't given thought one about him... just her and what's right for her... [/QUOTE]okay well i took her from another guy b4 they broke up. her mom totally approved of this. the ex was a thug and i was just a pervert. then she was with another guy while her and i were together. then she told me i was the one who wasn't ready for a serious relationship. once your part of the cylce it can be hard to get out of. man that was some weird time in my life. i do wish you the best of luck no matter what. once the emotions get deep.... there's no turning back.

[ August 22, 2003, 06:07 PM: Message edited by: square root ]