YOU KNOW YOU HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK WHEN

[Dee-Dee Sheridan]

You call yo own house and ask to speak to your self.

"Hello can I speak to me"


Care to add on? biggrinangel.gif

[mdpm99]

Take me drunk, I'm home.

smile.gif

d

[liL Ray]

when you put your bra on backwards, and it feels better!!!

when, in the middle of asking yourself "why is the floor coming up at me", the answer hit you smack in the face...and then you're actually happy that the floor did meet your face, because it feels so cozy down there...p.s. this is an actual account.

when the cops don't even help or arrest you for drunkedness, but tell you to take off your jewelry and hide it in your pocket...yeah, another actual occurance...at the West Indian day Carnivale on Eastern Parkway, nyc...

when you stick your key in a door that you think is on your block, and pray to God that this is your place.

awright, that's enough....

[jsd540]

When you are laying on the floor but still have to hold on. :D

[discofan]

When all of the vodka, wich is in my stomach, want to come back to the white world graemlins/puke.gif

[DaveR]

(when you reach Level 3)

The Five Stages of Drinking

LEVEL 1:
It's 11:00 on a weeknight, you've had a few beers. You get up to leave because you have work the next
day and one of your friends buys another round. One of your UNEMPLOYED friends. Here at level one
you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, why as long as I get seven hours of sleep (snap fingers),
I'm cool.".

LEVEL 2:
It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing against artificial turf.
You get up to leave again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're
thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times!
Besides, as long as I get five hours sleep (snaps fingers) I'm cool.".

LEVEL 3:
One in the morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR
artificial turf. And now you're thinking, "Our waitress is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" At
level three, you love the world. On the way to the bathroom you buy a drink for the stranger at the end of
the bar just because you like his face. You get drinking fantasies. (like,"Hey fellas, if we bought our own
bar, we could live together forever. We could do it. Tommy, you could cook.") But at level three, that
devil is a little bit bigger....and he's buying. And you're thinking "Oh, come on, come on now. As long as I
get three hours sleep...and a complete change of blood (snaps fingers), I'm cool.".


LEVEL 4:
Two in the morning. And the devil is bartending. For last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a Coke.
You ARE artificial turf! This time on your way to the bathroom, you punch the stranger at the end of the
bar. Just because you don't like his face! And now you're thinking, "Our busboy is the best looking man
I've ever seen." You and your friends decide to leave, right after you get thrown out, and one of you
knows an ...after hours bar. And here, at level four, you actually think to yourself, "Well....as long as I'm
only going to get a few hours sleep anyway, I may as well....STAY UP ALL NIGHT!!!! Yeah! That'd be
good for me. I don't mind going to that board meeting looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that
around, make it work for me. And besides, as long as I get 31 hours sleep tomorrow ...................cool.

LEVEL 5:
Five in the morning. after unsuccessfully trying to get your money back at the tattoo parlor ("But I don't
even know anybody named Ruby!!!"), you and your friends wind up across the state line in a bar with
guys who have been in prison as recently as...that morning. It's the kind of place where even the devil is
going, "Uh, I gotta turn in. I gotta be in Hell- at nine. I've got that brunch with Hitler, I can't miss that." At
this point, you're all drinking some kind of thick blue liquor, like something from a Klingon wedding. A
waitress with fresh stitches comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry that girl!!"
One of your friends stands up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO FLORIDA!!!!!"- and passes out. You
crawl outside for air , and then you hit the worst part of level five- the sun. You weren't expecting that
were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see people on their way to work, or
jogging. And they look at you-and they know. And they say..."Who's Ruby?" Let's be honest, if you're
19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory like you've beat the night, but if you're over 30, then that
sun is like God's flashlight. We all say the same prayer then, "I swear, I will never do this again (how
long?) as long as I live!" And some of us have that little addition, "and this time, I mean it!"

[ December 19, 2003, 09:08 AM: Message edited by: DaveR ]

[mr. stan moore]

When you have a conversation with someone for a considerable amount of time and afterwards you don't remember their name or what the hell you were talking about! graemlins/conf44.gif

[The Buddy Love Show]

Originally posted by DaveR:
(when you reach Level 3)

The Five Stages of Drinking

LEVEL 1:
It's 11:00 on a weeknight, you've had a few beers. You get up to leave because you have work the next
day and one of your friends buys another round. One of your UNEMPLOYED friends. Here at level one
you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, why as long as I get seven hours of sleep (snap fingers),
I'm cool.".

LEVEL 2:
It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing against artificial turf.
You get up to leave again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're
thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times!
Besides, as long as I get five hours sleep (snaps fingers) I'm cool.".

LEVEL 3:
One in the morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR
artificial turf. And now you're thinking, "Our waitress is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" At
level three, you love the world. On the way to the bathroom you buy a drink for the stranger at the end of
the bar just because you like his face. You get drinking fantasies. (like,"Hey fellas, if we bought our own
bar, we could live together forever. We could do it. Tommy, you could cook.") But at level three, that
devil is a little bit bigger....and he's buying. And you're thinking "Oh, come on, come on now. As long as I
get three hours sleep...and a complete change of blood (snaps fingers), I'm cool.".


LEVEL 4:
Two in the morning. And the devil is bartending. For last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a Coke.
You ARE artificial turf! This time on your way to the bathroom, you punch the stranger at the end of the
bar. Just because you don't like his face! And now you're thinking, "Our busboy is the best looking man
I've ever seen." You and your friends decide to leave, right after you get thrown out, and one of you
knows an ...after hours bar. And here, at level four, you actually think to yourself, "Well....as long as I'm
only going to get a few hours sleep anyway, I may as well....STAY UP ALL NIGHT!!!! Yeah! That'd be
good for me. I don't mind going to that board meeting looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that
around, make it work for me. And besides, as long as I get 31 hours sleep tomorrow ...................cool.

LEVEL 5:
Five in the morning. after unsuccessfully trying to get your money back at the tattoo parlor ("But I don't
even know anybody named Ruby!!!"), you and your friends wind up across the state line in a bar with
guys who have been in prison as recently as...that morning. It's the kind of place where even the devil is
going, "Uh, I gotta turn in. I gotta be in Hell- at nine. I've got that brunch with Hitler, I can't miss that." At
this point, you're all drinking some kind of thick blue liquor, like something from a Klingon wedding. A
waitress with fresh stitches comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry that girl!!"
One of your friends stands up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO FLORIDA!!!!!"- and passes out. You
crawl outside for air , and then you hit the worst part of level five- the sun. You weren't expecting that
were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see people on their way to work, or
jogging. And they look at you-and they know. And they say..."Who's Ruby?" Let's be honest, if you're
19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory like you've beat the night, but if you're over 30, then that
sun is like God's flashlight. We all say the same prayer then, "I swear, I will never do this again (how
long?) as long as I live!" And some of us have that little addition, "and this time, I mean it!" hey, where's Larry Millers credit

[DJ Keith Porter]

Originally posted by DaveR:
(when you reach Level 3)

The Five Stages of Drinking

LEVEL 1:
It's 11:00 on a weeknight, you've had a few beers. You get up to leave because you have work the next
day and one of your friends buys another round. One of your UNEMPLOYED friends. Here at level one
you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, why as long as I get seven hours of sleep (snap fingers),
I'm cool.".

LEVEL 2:
It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing against artificial turf.
You get up to leave again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're
thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times!
Besides, as long as I get five hours sleep (snaps fingers) I'm cool.".

LEVEL 3:
One in the morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR
artificial turf. And now you're thinking, "Our waitress is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" At
level three, you love the world. On the way to the bathroom you buy a drink for the stranger at the end of
the bar just because you like his face. You get drinking fantasies. (like,"Hey fellas, if we bought our own
bar, we could live together forever. We could do it. Tommy, you could cook.") But at level three, that
devil is a little bit bigger....and he's buying. And you're thinking "Oh, come on, come on now. As long as I
get three hours sleep...and a complete change of blood (snaps fingers), I'm cool.".


LEVEL 4:
Two in the morning. And the devil is bartending. For last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a Coke.
You ARE artificial turf! This time on your way to the bathroom, you punch the stranger at the end of the
bar. Just because you don't like his face! And now you're thinking, "Our busboy is the best looking man
I've ever seen." You and your friends decide to leave, right after you get thrown out, and one of you
knows an ...after hours bar. And here, at level four, you actually think to yourself, "Well....as long as I'm
only going to get a few hours sleep anyway, I may as well....STAY UP ALL NIGHT!!!! Yeah! That'd be
good for me. I don't mind going to that board meeting looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that
around, make it work for me. And besides, as long as I get 31 hours sleep tomorrow ...................cool.

LEVEL 5:
Five in the morning. after unsuccessfully trying to get your money back at the tattoo parlor ("But I don't
even know anybody named Ruby!!!"), you and your friends wind up across the state line in a bar with
guys who have been in prison as recently as...that morning. It's the kind of place where even the devil is
going, "Uh, I gotta turn in. I gotta be in Hell- at nine. I've got that brunch with Hitler, I can't miss that." At
this point, you're all drinking some kind of thick blue liquor, like something from a Klingon wedding. A
waitress with fresh stitches comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry that girl!!"
One of your friends stands up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO FLORIDA!!!!!"- and passes out. You
crawl outside for air , and then you hit the worst part of level five- the sun. You weren't expecting that
were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see people on their way to work, or
jogging. And they look at you-and they know. And they say..."Who's Ruby?" Let's be honest, if you're
19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory like you've beat the night, but if you're over 30, then that
sun is like God's flashlight. We all say the same prayer then, "I swear, I will never do this again (how
long?) as long as I live!" And some of us have that little addition, "and this time, I mean it!" graemlins/lol.gif graemlins/lol.gif graemlins/lol.gif graemlins/lol.gif

[DaveR]

Originally posted by St Magus the Reviled:
hey, where's Larry Millers credit Right there smile.gif

[Maria Diestro]

when you go home from a house party.. and not notice that you have put on the wrong shoes...2 sizes too big for you!!!

lol
lol

Maria

[Dee-Dee Sheridan]

DAVID MANCUSO & IIL RAY TOO FUNNY!

[Dee-Dee Sheridan]

How about getting all the way to work and realizing that you only have on one shoe.

[ December 19, 2003, 10:25 AM: Message edited by: Dee-Dee Sheridan ]

[BHouse]

When you start a thread like this.... icon_rofl.gif

[Dj Pat]

YOU GO OUT AND VOTE FOR GEROGE BUSH. graemlins/rofl5.gif

DJ PAT
PHYSICAL HEAT MUSIC

[Martin Red]

YOU KNOW YOU HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK WHEN .....


You wake up and your liver is lying next to you on the bed calling you a bastard.

[Dee-Dee Sheridan]

Originally posted by BHouse:
When you start a thread like this.... icon_rofl.gif Don't hate pimp juice graemlins/all_coholic.gif

[kev]

When you wake up in the morning on your living room couch with a Jack in a Box salad on your chest, and you have absolutely no recollection about going to Jack in a Box at all!

[dj c-los]

when you're trying to make 2 girls kiss.

[BHouse]

Originally posted by Dee-Dee Sheridan:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by BHouse:
When you start a thread like this.... icon_rofl.gif Don't hate pimp juice graemlins/all_coholic.gif </font>[/QUOTE]Never Hatin'... mad1.gif , always participatin'... http://deephousepage.com/smilies/focking.gif

[Dee-Dee Sheridan]

When you cuse everybody out for nothing.

[DISKOQUEEN99]

The ugly people become attractive to you.

[Leslie]

Originally posted by DISKOQUEEN99:
The ugly people become attractive to you. Oh lawdy ain't that one the truth - I done paid the price for that one once!

[And]

When you wake up next to your best friend at the time, their face is peeling, skin coming off everywhere and you're covered in red spots. There's an empty quarter keg in the room and 2 64 ounce cups lying around.

[Pete Nice]

when after you pass out, you wake in the morning half naked and your shirt is down the driveway... 'bout 100ft from where you sleep.

when you wake up the next day still drunk and sweat liquor.

when the world is spinning so hard and you're tossing up all of it and there is nothing left. then you ask your friends to take you to the hospital 'cuz it won't stop.


graemlins/all_coholic.gif

[CarlCollins]

when you think you've brought your woman to a new orgasmic high with your tounge, only to realize she still has her pants up and you've been licking her jeans for the last half hour.

[MusicFilter]

Ever get drunk and sit on the toilet and throw up in the facebowl.

I've been drunker than that,
I sat in the facebowl and threw up in he toilet.

I said, "God damn it's a tall toilet in there!"

I came back about a half and hour to throw some cold water on my forehead....

Damn! I don't remember eatin' that!!!

Red Foxx

[J V]

Originally posted by chgodj3:
Ever get drunk and sit on the toilet and throw up in the facebowl.

I've been drunker than that,
I sat in the facebowl and threw up in he toilet.

I said, "God damn it's a tall toilet in there!"

I came back about a half and hour to throw some cold water on my forehead....


Damn! I don't remember eatin' that!!!

Red Foxx I only hope you didn't use the water from the "short facebowl"!

[J V]

Originally posted by IIBS:
When you wake up in the morning on your living room couch with a Jack in a Box salad on your chest, and you have absolutely no recollection about going to Jack in a Box at all! Yeah, and Jack In A Box doesn't even have a location in your state, let alone in your hood!

[BHouse]

I have been so drunk I woke up on my friends back porch covered by a dingy blanket only to find out it was their dog...

[And]

Originally posted by POWEKA:
when you think you've brought your woman to a new orgasmic high with your tounge, only to realize she still has her pants up and you've been licking her jeans for the last half hour. icon_rofl.gif

[Rainless]

Originally posted by 6 23:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by POWEKA:
when you think you've brought your woman to a new orgasmic high with your tounge, only to realize she still has her pants up and you've been licking her jeans for the last half hour. icon_rofl.gif </font>[/QUOTE]graemlins/lol.gif

[Kozmicgirl]

I think I'm having a moment NOW!!!!!

[Dee-Dee Sheridan]

Y'all aint nothing but drunks graemlins/all_coholic.gif graemlins/rofl.gif

[Austin/Dallas]

When you can smell yourself. And someone tell you you smell like booze.

[E-Phi]

If you can't even walk down a flight of stairs ;)
If you don't remember when you left the party or how the hell you got home graemlins/rofl.gif

[likewater]

When you keep saying excuse me while your on the dance floor, thinking your bumping into people but know one is listing to a word ur saying.. graemlins/stupid.gif

When you keep going to the ladies room to pee graemlins/kos.gif , after you just left the ladies room.. asking yourself why am I in the ladies room... graemlins/rofl.gif

[MYOR]

When all the ugly people start looking cute to you graemlins/bolt.gif

[SOUL SAUCE]

dupe entry

[ December 23, 2003, 03:38 PM: Message edited by: SOUL SAUCE RECORDINGS ]

[SOUL SAUCE]

Originally posted by MYOR:
When all the ugly people start looking cute to you graemlins/bolt.gif very true!....

or when you start calling people at all hours of the night... x boyfriends... and people you dont even talk to anymore.

when you start fighting with your jacket thinking it's someone else!