..You refine heroin for a living, but you have moral and religious objections to beer.
..You own a $900 machine-gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
..You have more wives than teeth.
..You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
..You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."![]()



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