How would you feel if.................

[Alanda Marquette from DiscoLadyLand]

Originally posted by richierich:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by DiscoLady:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by richierich:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Shalewa:
I think it would be in many ways easier to take for me if my man left me for a man than for a woman because it seems to me that his coming into alignment with his true sexuality is way more about him than about me. I mean if he wants a man there is nothing I can do to "compete" for his affections short of negating my woman-self and that ain't happening. If he wants a different woman and leaves our relationship in the ugly way described in the scenario, that is more deeply ego-wounding because you can get caught up in that whole older, younger, thinner, bustier, richer, more aggressive, less aggressive loop of comparing yourself to the next partner. That said, betrayal is betrayal and any partner who leaves as a direct result of infidelity is a person who needs to check themeselves. Endings are hard but they don't have to be dishonorable.

Thank you for a true response. </font>[/QUOTE]So if others say they won't care isn't a true response? You have no idea how others feel especially the peeps that have been through endless, hopeless battles of emotional distress. I guess age plays a major role in how to handle most things. If I were 10 - 15 years younger I would probably hurt him and the person he is cheating with mainly because I couldn't handle rejection then.

I am sure that other folk that posted that wouldn't care probably been thru enough garbage not to. Life is too short to waste it on sexual appetite (in the process of being connected with your soulmate) and being hurt plus withdrawn because of it. </font>[/QUOTE]Naw that aint what I"m sayin'. I really could have worded it better and yes all responses are true whether I agree with them or not. Some can handle this situation better than others obviously. What I was trying to get at was the real genuine emotion of a break up with someone that you truely, deeply care about. I wasn't expecting people to say ,"I'm gonna kill myself or not get over it. I just wanted to cut thru the fronts that people put up to hide their true feelings when they have truely been hurt. People have been killed , shot, stabbed and all kinds of stuff over breakups and for someone to say they don't care just took me as very callous. I just thought that if someone left you that you loved that it would have some kind of affect on a person, that's all.If I loved someone and they left me for whatever reason.. yeah I know I gotta move on but I would also be hurt inside. Not suicidal or anything, but I mean Damn no feelings at all?? No feelings at all???? Oh Well!!
Peace </font>[/QUOTE]Maybe I should have made it a little more simple by saying: Been There Done That! Hurt is hurt no matter what form it's in. Yes, hurt will be there but the numbness takes over, especially when you thought you were with that "special" person many times before. So if it's the first time that you've been hurt then yes, it will be devastating.

[Pete Nice]

Originally posted by HouseDiva:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by square root:
i would expect it and buy a bottle of grey goose and celebrate being right..... [img]graemlins/all_coholic.gif[/img]

see i like your idea the goose gotta fly [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/all_coholic.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/all_coholic.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/all_coholic.gif[/img] </font>[/QUOTE]yes, the goose is a great co-pilot when it comes to gettin' screwed over. to bad there's no parachute to go with it....

besides there's 1 of 4 things to do in a situation like this:
1.hurt that person as much as you feel you were hurt.
2.grow up and learn from it and hope they're happy.
3.go on an endless amount of benders 'til you can't remember what that person looks like or what there name was and then check into rehab.
4.do all of the above and hope you still have a job after all is said and done. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

[lola desire]

what should you do?

thank her for the time you spent together. move on. there are plenty of people to meet. she couldn't have been your "soulmate" if she was macked and chose against you. instead of being salty about her leaving, be thankful that you found out now instead of later when it could have been more complex.

transitions are challenging, look for the lesson.

[Alanda Marquette from DiscoLadyLand]

Originally posted by lola desire:
what should you do?

thank her for the time you spent together. move on. there are plenty of people to meet. she couldn't have been your "soulmate" if she was macked and chose against you. instead of being salty about her leaving, be thankful that you found out now instead of later when it could have been more complex.

transitions are challenging, look for the lesson.

Bravo Lola. I love your words of wisdom [img]hail.gif[/img]

[richierich]

Originally posted by lola desire:
what should you do?

thank her for the time you spent together. move on. there are plenty of people to meet. she couldn't have been your "soulmate" if she was macked and chose against you. instead of being salty about her leaving, be thankful that you found out now instead of later when it could have been more complex.

transitions are challenging, look for the lesson.

Now see, I didn't ask what you should do, I asked how would you feel emotionally inside? Can you tell me that if your man left you, you wouldn't feel anything??

[MsAlayneous]

.

[Bold Soul]

I would feel guilty for my own lack of self-honesty. I obviously ignored or downplayed signs that something like this could have been there. Why did I fool myself? What did I require from this relationship where illusion was acceptable?

There would be quite a head check in order after something such as this.

[(Im)poster]

It would probably hurt, but at least I would feel a little better knowing that he obviously needed something I could not give him....