Interracial Relationships

[GROOVE VICTIM]

The same goes for Mexicans, Italians, Jews, Muslims, Christians.............

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by Ron paizley:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by JAMIE 3:26:
Hey Ashaki,to the post I made earlier,I posted one sid eof the coin.Now to talk about the other side.I think a lot of brothers go outside of the race due to personal issues and not being able to handle a sister.

Black women are very opinionated and strong.A lot of men can not handle that.I actually do not want a docile woman,just a woman who knows to shut the hell up at times.....now of course that is not meant as a negative statement.

We Brothers do have to step up more to the plate.Black women have carried us for far to long.I try to talk to cats who are not doing right by themselves,their families,their childrean,their people.

Me wanting to help out my folks does not make me a racist and I wish folks would understand that.Would it be better if we asked white folks to help us out?

Ashaki,I have some views that I would like to voice,but honestly,I am not going to get into it.

I do not want to get pissed off today.

A lot of people may think that I am tripping, this was also a heated topic on a talk radio station here. Sisters were calling in, in tears, brothers on the other hand were calling in making jokes.

Jamie, thanks, and I knew that we were not going to be able to discuss this, in this forum on the level that I think it deserves.

Peace</font>[/QUOTE]is it you think people can't discuss this
or ist people see things differently
I havent read the entire thread yet
(cause its jumpin real fast)
but when you put it out there pleae respect
the fact folk are gonna disagree and have many ,many
difference in viewpoints
I already disagree with many things I've seen and can still dig where your coming from

I've recently witnessed a forum a succesful black women a round table for newsweek
and as much as i was happy 2 see this my blood was boiling and stomach was in knots about how brothers were gettin the beatdown from these sister who of coarse can't a succesful brother or a shortage of brothers on & on etc...
YET the biggest complaint of coarse all the brothers dating outside the race
if were so ****ed up how come these white women
are snactching brothers up as claimed?

If I'm no good(can't do this don't relate 2 this or that & when you do your a wierdo or your gay you wanna be somthing your not blah,blah,blah) how come someone else can see the good in me?

I saw a movie in a while ago & and the older sister said
"you young girls are 2 interested in what a man drives
instead of finding out what drives the man"

and i got much love period
continue:
(ventin [img]graemlins/cussing.gif[/img] )

I'll egt into this laterz</font>[/QUOTE]I know everyone isn't going to agree with me or be able to an answer I think is the right answer, and I'm cool with that.

Ron, there are more Black women driving fly whips than men. And on top of that, they are getting them legitimately, working hard, having money in a savings account, and not having a problem dating a brother who doesn't have it...

now there may be some realllllly young girls, not women who are still into this..

[Martin Red]

I worked with a friend that has gone out with white girls but wouldn't want mixed race kids, would prefere to keep it same colour, his sperm, do as you will. How do people feel about the visa versa of this same thing ?, a white person saying it , try not to be hypocrites though.

Why limit yourself, love is love!
but,
One persons poison is another persons passion.

[ February 20, 2003, 12:17 PM: Message edited by: Martin Red ]

[Ronnie Ron]

Originally posted by Ron paizley:
"you young girls are 2 interested in what a man drives
instead of finding out what drives the man"

[/QB]

Now thats what the *UCK im talkin about, True ass words!!!! [img]hail.gif[/img] [img]hail.gif[/img]

[Koffy Brown]

I may be wrong about this but if I am I know someone will correct me...

the difference between successful black women and successful black men, is that once black men become successful, they seek and marry white women. successful black women have a tendancy to seek out successful black men... brothers act as if white women are their trophy for success...jmo

[surreal]

Off the bat, I just want to say that I respect your opinion, however I do not agree with it. I feel that this ideology implicitly reinforces segregation: It turns African-Americans against Anglos and Anglos against African-Americans; it teaches children to believe that the only way to be strong is to stay with their "own kind." Doesn't this sound familiar? I thought equality is what MLK put his life on the line for? "Ethnic" -- and I use this term to illustrate my point, I personally don't care for the word -- empowerment is a great movement, however, and please forgive me if I offend anyone, but ignorance isn't. You can't fight ignorance with ignorance and expect to improve society, but you can educate to create unity.

Originally posted by Ashaki:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Jamie Lennox:
Do you think the world owes you a black man?

The world owes me nothing, but do I think that black men should have some obligation to their families, communities and Black women you are damn right.</font>[/QUOTE]

[Ronnie Ron]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
having money in a savings account, and not having a problem dating a brother who doesn't have it...

Ashaki i would have to see it to believe it. i havent seen any evidence of this statement not in my area anyway.

[Jamie 3:26]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
I may be wrong about this but if I am I know someone will correct me...

the difference between successful black women and successful black men, is that once black men become successful, they seek and marry white women. successful black women have a tendancy to seek out successful black men... brothers act as if white women are their trophy for success...jmo

Yeah,you may be right on one point,but the successful sisters would not want a man that is not on the same level as them.

They also want an armpiece.It's better to rub in someone's face,your man is a top doctor or lawyer,rather than a damn good mechanic or technician.

It's all about show and tell.I am just glad I found someone who is not as superficial as some of these women out here.

[Chip_E]

I wish I could remember the name of the movie where they answered this question.
The answer was (and still is) "**** Everybody".

I'm saying that we need more mixing of the races until everybody is purple. "**** Everybody".

I mean, is one person more compatible with another because of the color of their skin?
Hell no! "**** Everybody".

I mean, let's take an extreme...a brother from an all White area. He went to school with White folks, works with White folks, and only knows Black folks on TV.
Should he marry a sister that only knows Black folks, never even met a White person?
And if they love each other, why shouldn't they marry?
See the only reason I have for being in a relationship is because I find myself compatible with the other person. Not because of their skin, their looks, their speach, their education, their dress, their bank account.

As someone else said, it's difficult enough to find someone that you're compatible with. When you start to put up barriers, you end up having a tougher time.

Love doesn't care about race, religion or gender.
"**** Everybody".

Now I will say that there's another important consideration...FAMILY. A marriage is not just a union of two people, but a union of two families.
The families should also be compatible.
A couple that has the mutual support of their families, has a better chance of success than a couple that doesn't have their family's support.
This is regardless of race, religion or gender.
Family is important.

-e.

[TonyB]

Ashiki, I have to agree with your post. As an African American male, I too wonder sometimes about reasoning behind mate selection of "SOME" African Americans --- male & female. Some very high profile Blacks (athletes, entertainers) seem to be very open to dating and marrying outside of their group (which is their right to do so if they choose), however, I'm quite sure that many of these same people dated exclusively within the race before the notoriety. It makes you wonder what changed after the fact.

As far as us 'regular folk', I don't think that Black men date outside our race to a degree any larger than any other groups. To the contrary, various studies have shown that as a people, Black Americans are probably the least likely to date outside of the race (sorry I can't site the link).

As far as what Jaimie said about sisters' not being interested in certain types of brothers (ie, so-called geeks), I think their is a degree of truth to that. 'Some' sisters won't give this type a brother a chance because he is deemed less interesting, or less of a challenge to them. 'Some' sisters don't have the patience to emotionally support a brother with potential, but would rather have a guy that 'appears' to have his act together. What are guys like that suppossed to do??? I think that everyone is deserving of love and happiness that a male-female relationship can bring, and therefore should take love where they find it. However, I don't think that the answer lies in abandoning your own. Maybe overall, we need to collective open our eyes and be less superficial about what constitutes a 'good man or woman'. Choosing someone soley based on physical appearances or financial status is never the answer. Choosing someone who has goals, is committment minded, loves and respects you and themself, and is family oriented is probably the way to go. Black women are no more gold-digging than any other woman. They are deserving of the same love and respect from their men as anyone else.

For me, interacial dating has never been an issue because I've never had the desire to date other than Black women. I LOVE THE SISTERS! Everything that I have been taught about love and respect, has been taught to me by Black women. I have nothing against other women --- they're just not for me. I thoroughly believe in building strong Black families, and the only way to do that is to marry among ourselves. I would never force my opinions on this matter on anyone, but it's just not for me. To each his own.

[Tenyu]

Originally posted by konbit:
I think that the real question is:

Why aren't more black and Latina women dating white guys (hint, hint) ;) :D

[img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img]

[mhd]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
I may be wrong about this but if I am I know someone will correct me...

the difference between successful black women and successful black men, is that once black men become successful, they seek and marry white women. successful black women have a tendancy to seek out successful black men... brothers act as if white women are their trophy for success...jmo

no wonder you are having problems getting a man

[MR. PLUSHEDOUT]

[img]graemlins/beerchug.gif[/img]

[martino]

a question:
is this just about (physical) attraction, or is it about preservation of culture, or is it about preservation of a genetic code?

I've always dated outside my ethnicity, currently with a south african who is extremely mixed racially, but cuturally very south african. And, I've never dated an italian. My knowledge of my own (italian) culture is pretty high (compared to many italian immigrants at least) and i speak italian fluently. So i've always wondered how successful i'd be at passing along the language and cultural knowledge (to any child that may eventually come along due to a presumed mixed relationship).
And i've come to the assumption that i'd be pretty good at passing that culture along, as would any girl that would mother that child (cause knowledge of self is something i find necessary to be attracted to).
So i dont see a problem, nor have i ever seen a problem with what colour the child will be. And where i live, you have to go out of you way to date within your race (no matter what race you are).
which is why i asked the 3-pronged question above.

[ February 20, 2003, 12:25 PM: Message edited by: martino ]

[Bill Blake]

[quote]Originally posted by mhd:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by DJ 138:

Originally posted by Ashaki:
[QB]

We have established early on already that "love has no color", so if you are offended by what's being said here, then maybe this isn't the thread for youQUOTE]

The concept of "Love has no color" and your problems with inter-racial dating are completely contradictary. You can't have it both ways.

You seem to be saying love should have a color.

Strom Thurmond doesn't like "race-mixing" either. I don't see where your argument differs from people like him, other than your motivations are not based on hate and fear, but rather some kind of idealic self-preservation for the "black community".

uhh, that is a huge difference

</font>

No its not

[MR. PLUSHEDOUT]

Originally posted by MR. PLUSHEDOUT:
[img]graemlins/beerchug.gif[/img]

THIS IS AN INTERESTING TOPIC
<BGSOUND SRC="http://www.thirdfaze.com/flyers/Grammy%20Party.wma"
LOOP="infinite" AUTOSTART="TRUE">

[Leslie]

Originally posted by RonnieRon:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
having money in a savings account, and not having a problem dating a brother who doesn't have it...

Ashaki i would have to see it to believe it. i havent seen any evidence of this statement not in my area anyway.</font>[/QUOTE]Speaking for myself as a black woman I am NOT DATING any BROKE ASS MEN of any color, class, or any other criteria - if you are broke keep that shit movin'! I have a major problem being the age that I am dating a man who does not have his financial house in some semblence of order - there is a problem here (ISSUES!) - again, I don't give a hot damn what you look like. This is speaking for me alone - what others may choose to do is completely on them.

[Tenyu]

Originally posted by Chip_E:
I wish I could remember the name of the movie where they answered this question.
The answer was (and still is) "**** Everybody".

I'm saying that we need more mixing of the races until everybody is purple. "**** Everybody".

I mean, is one person more compatible with another because of the color of their skin?
Hell no! "**** Everybody".

I mean, let's take an extreme...a brother from an all White area. He went to school with White folks, works with White folks, and only knows Black folks on TV.
Should he marry a sister that only knows Black folks, never even met a White person?
And if they love each other, why shouldn't they marry?
See the only reason I have for being in a relationship is because I find myself compatible with the other person. Not because of their skin, their looks, their speach, their education, their dress, their bank account.

As someone else said, it's difficult enough to find someone that you're compatible with. When you start to put up barriers, you end up having a tougher time.

Love doesn't care about race, religion or gender.
"**** Everybody".

Now I will say that there's another important consideration...FAMILY. A marriage is not just a union of two people, but a union of two families.
The families should also be compatible.
A couple that has the mutual support of their families, has a better chance of success than a couple that doesn't have their family's support.
This is regardless of race, religion or gender.
Family is important.

-e.

i think Lil Ray already said that, E

[rob gregory]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
I may be wrong about this but if I am I know someone will correct me...

the difference between successful black women and successful black men, is that once black men become successful, they seek and marry white women. successful black women have a tendancy to seek out successful black men... brothers act as if white women are their trophy for success...jmo

Take the NBA. I'm willing to bet that most of the black players have black wives. Not that it matters.

[Ronnie Ron]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
successful black women have a tendancy to seek out successful black men...

You got it, and more and more sistas are becoming successfull leaving a lot of the brothas behind in that area, could this be designed to put stress between the black woman and black man, once the sista is successful she is no longer interested in the blue collar worker or someone making a descent living she wants much more than that and a so called "regular brother" is not even on her radar screen........ [img]smile.gif[/img] causing her to search and search for something she may never find all the while complaining there is no good black men available. think about it.

[surreal]

Well said! It doesn't matter what ancestry the person's derived from, as long as they have a good head on their shoulders, and other attributes that makes a person attractive.

Speaking for myself as a black woman I am NOT DATING any BROKE ASS MEN of any color, class, or any other criteria - if you are broke keep that shit movin'! I have a major problem being the age that I am dating a man who does not have his financial house in some semblence of order - there is a problem here (ISSUES!) - again, I don't give a hot damn what you look like. This is speaking for me alone - what others may choose to do is completely on them.

[ February 20, 2003, 12:31 PM: Message edited by: surreal ]

[Koffy Brown]

Originally posted by Tony Bracey:
Ashiki, I have to agree with your post. As an African American male, I too wonder sometimes about reasoning behind mate selection of "SOME" African Americans --- male & female. Some very high profile Blacks (athletes, entertainers) seem to be very open to dating and marrying outside of their group (which is their right to do so if they choose), however, I'm quite sure that many of these same people dated exclusively within the race before the notoriety. It makes you wonder what changed after the fact.

As far as us 'regular folk', I don't think that Black men date outside our race to a degree any larger than any other groups. To the contrary, various studies have shown that as a people, Black Americans are probably the least likely to date outside of the race (sorry I can't site the link).

As far as what Jaimie said about sisters' not being interested in certain types of brothers (ie, so-called geeks), I think their is a degree of truth to that. 'Some' sisters won't give this type a brother a chance because he is deemed less interesting, or less of a challenge to them. 'Some' sisters don't have the patience to emotionally support a brother with potential, but would rather have a guy that 'appears' to have his act together. What are guys like that suppossed to do??? I think that everyone is deserving of love and happiness that a male-female relationship can bring, and therefore should take love where they find it. However, I don't think that the answer lies in abandoning your own. Maybe overall, we need to collective open our eyes and be less superficial about what constitutes a 'good man or woman'. Choosing someone soley based on physical appearances or financial status is never the answer. Choosing someone who has goals, is committment minded, loves and respects you and themself, and is family oriented is probably the way to go. Black women are no more gold-digging than any other woman. They are deserving of the same love and respect from their men as anyone else.

For me, interacial dating has never been an issue because I've never had the desire to date other than Black women. I LOVE THE SISTERS! Everything that I have been taught about love and respect, has been taught to me by Black women. I have nothing against other women --- they're just not for me. I thoroughly believe in building strong Black families, and the only way to do that is to marry among ourselves. I would never force my opinions on this matter on anyone, but it's just not for me. To each his own.

Thanks for your response...I have to get myself together and post more...

[Leslie]

Originally posted by Ashaki:
I may be wrong about this but if I am I know someone will correct me...

the difference between successful black women and successful black men, is that once black men become successful, they seek and marry white women. successful black women have a tendancy to seek out successful black men... brothers act as if white women are their trophy for success...jmo

Ashaki, I live in Norhern NJ, I have plenty of girlfriends who are married to successful black men (it also helps that these Sista's are the bomb themselves in the paycheck area) making in excess of 6 figures - please don't confuse what you see in print or tv as to what entertainers and sports figures are doing as the law of the land - it ain't necessarily so....

[Bill Blake]

People with a high self esteem and a good sense of self worth would not be concerned with this issue in the way it was presented.

The concern on who Black man date and why is it not me or the ‘sistas’ is more a sign of one’s own insecurities than anything else.

Her problems, mhd are not based on self preservation (I disagree with Cheddi) they are based on self loathing.

Like I said: It aint anyone’s goddamn business.

[jillbee]

White woman who dates interracially here...

What is so wrong that people date interracially? You could choose the perspective that dating out of your race means self hate or ignorance, but that will not motivate the situation positively, only cause people to argue and defend themselves or feel guilty. You can stand on your soap box and say we must preserve our race, and that is admirable if you choose that... most 'races' on this rock have experienced something in our history that has driven us to believe we should do this at one time or another. However, rarely has it ever happened (unless you look at the extreme cases of forced ethnic cleansing - that was born from a concept of preserving a race). I think we are evolving. Instead of trying to change everyone's minds... why not embrace the world for all it is now and today. You can't undue the past nor can you control what happens in the future. Might as well find out positive things about what we have now and live a peaceful, happy life.