Interracial Relationships

**Ronnie Ron** · 02-20-2003, 12:30 PM

Originally posted by Leslie:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by RonnieRon:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
having money in a savings account, and not having a problem dating a brother who doesn't have it...

Ashaki i would have to see it to believe it. i havent seen any evidence of this statement not in my area anyway.[/QUOTE]Speaking for myself as a black woman I am NOT DATING any BROKE ASS MEN of any color, class, or any other criteria - if you are broke keep that shit movin'! I have a major problem being the age that I am dating a man who does not have his financial house in some semblence of order - there is a problem here (ISSUES!) - again, I don't give a hot damn what you look like. This is speaking for me alone - what others may choose to do is completely on them.[/QUOTE]So in your opinion you dont give a damn if the guys is an asshole all you want him to be is successfull?

**mhd** · 02-20-2003, 12:30 PM

Originally posted by RonnieRon:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
successful black women have a tendancy to seek out successful black men...

You got it, and more and more sistas are becoming successfull leaving a lot of the brothas behind in that area, could this be designed to put stress between the black woman and black man, once the sista is successful she is no longer interested in the blue collar worker or someone making a descent living she wants much more than that and a so called "regular brother" is not even on her radar screen........ [img]smile.gif[/img] causing her to search and search for something she may never find all the while complaining there is no good black men available. think about it.[/QUOTE]no wonder you are having trouble getting dates, you got to broaden your scope. what do you think a LONELY succesful black woman wants?

**Koffy Brown** · 02-20-2003, 12:30 PM

Originally posted by RonnieRon:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
successful black women have a tendancy to seek out successful black men...

You got it, and more and more sistas are becoming successfull leaving a lot of the brothas behind in that area, could this be designed to put stress between the black woman and black man, once the sista is successful she is no longer interested in the blue collar worker or someone making a descent living she wants much more than that and a so called "regular brother" is not even on her radar screen........ [img]smile.gif[/img] causing her to search and search for something she may never find all the while complaining there is no good black men available. think about it.[/QUOTE]I don't know if it is designed for that reason but it's working...damn.... but brothers are the same way when it comes to looks...what about "regular looking sisters"

**Jamie 3:26** · 02-20-2003, 12:31 PM

Originally posted by Leslie:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by RonnieRon:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
having money in a savings account, and not having a problem dating a brother who doesn't have it...

Ashaki i would have to see it to believe it. i havent seen any evidence of this statement not in my area anyway.[/QUOTE]Speaking for myself as a black woman I am NOT DATING any BROKE ASS MEN of any color, class, or any other criteria - if you are broke keep that shit movin'! I have a major problem being the age that I am dating a man who does not have his financial house in some semblence of order - there is a problem here (ISSUES!) - again, I don't give a hot damn what you look like. This is speaking for me alone - what others may choose to do is completely on them.[/QUOTE]Now I didnt say broke Les.There's a big difference between someone who has something and someone who is looking for handouts.Hell,I expect the same thing.I am too damn old to go backwards now.We gotta meet somewhere in the middle,ya dig?

You are a together sister,with a solid head on your shoulders and I have mad respect for that quality you have.If I was not married,I would have to knock Kai out of the way.
:D

**konbit** · 02-20-2003, 12:33 PM

Ashaki,

I assume that the reason you date people is to find a loving, caring companion. Right? Why don't YOU date outside of YOUR race? Surely that chances of meeting somebody with the above description is greatly increased...right? Unless, of course, you are physically repulsed by the looks of men of other races...

**Leslie** · 02-20-2003, 12:33 PM

Originally posted by RonnieRon:
So in your opinion you dont give a damn if the guys is an asshole all you want him to be is successfull?[/QB]

No assholes get kicked to the curb also - TRUST ON THAT - this was in response to her comment about there being Sista's who have no problem dating men who are broke - I personally do at this stage of my life.

**Ron la Rock** · 02-20-2003, 12:35 PM

Originally posted by Ashaki:

I know everyone isn't going to agree with me or be able to an answer I think is the right answer, and I'm cool with that.

Ron, there are more Black women driving fly whips than men. And on top of that, they are getting them legitimately, working hard, having money in a savings account, and not having a problem dating a brother who doesn't have it...

now there may be some realllllly young girls, not women who are still into this..[/QB][/QUOTE]

point taken
and alot of brothers are working as hard and liget the same. alla n all we have 2 really support each other and be a lil more nurturing
within the commnuity period and with any partner
you may wind up with 9you bets believe find love where U can!)
believe me I'm in a interracrelationship now and havent felt this much support (wouldn't trade 4 anything right now)
in I don't know how
long and believe we have our struggles like
any other pairings

**Koffy Brown** · 02-20-2003, 12:35 PM

Originally posted by Leslie:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
I may be wrong about this but if I am I know someone will correct me...

the difference between successful black women and successful black men, is that once black men become successful, they seek and marry white women. successful black women have a tendancy to seek out successful black men... brothers act as if white women are their trophy for success...jmo

Ashaki, I live in Norhern NJ, I have plenty of girlfriends who are married to successful black men (it also helps that these Sista's are the bomb themselves in the paycheck area) making in excess of 6 figures - please don't confuse what you see in print or tv as to what entertainers and sports figures are doing as the law of the land - it ain't necessarily so....[/QUOTE]Leslie, that is seriously good to know...

**Leslie** · 02-20-2003, 12:35 PM

Originally posted by RonnieRon:
all you want him to be is successfull?[/QB]

define successful and don't assume our definitions coinside....

**LEONARD REMIX RROY** · 02-20-2003, 12:36 PM

Originally posted by Ashaki:
[QB]Before I begin this topic I will say this so that no one gets the wrong idea about me,

I don't know if anyone told you yet but, we get a topic like this atleast once a year so - let it all hang out!

**statuskuo** · 02-20-2003, 12:36 PM

Originally posted by JAMIE 3:26:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Leslie:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by RonnieRon:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
having money in a savings account, and not having a problem dating a brother who doesn't have it...

Ashaki i would have to see it to believe it. i havent seen any evidence of this statement not in my area anyway.[/QUOTE]Speaking for myself as a black woman I am NOT DATING any BROKE ASS MEN of any color, class, or any other criteria - if you are broke keep that shit movin'! I have a major problem being the age that I am dating a man who does not have his financial house in some semblence of order - there is a problem here (ISSUES!) - again, I don't give a hot damn what you look like. This is speaking for me alone - what others may choose to do is completely on them.[/QUOTE]Now I didnt say broke Les.There's a big difference between someone who has something and someone who is looking for handouts.Hell,I expect the same thing.I am too damn old to go backwards now.We gotta meet somewhere in the middle,ya dig?
You are a together sister,with a solid head on your shoulders and I have mad respect for that quality you have.If I was not married,I would have to knock Kai out of the way.
:D [/QUOTE]see why you gotta bring my name into this?? what car do you drive??

Leslie knows what's good for her. that's all.

peath.

**mhd** · 02-20-2003, 12:36 PM

Originally posted by Jamie Lennox:
People with a high self esteem and a good sense of self worth would not be concerned with this issue in the way it was presented.

The concern on who Black man date and why is it not me or the ‘sistas’ is more a sign of one’s own insecurities than anything else.

Her problems, mhd are not based on self preservation (I disagree with Cheddi) they are based on self loathing.

Like I said: It aint anyone’s goddamn business.

agreed, self-loathing can come from within or without, a cure for self-preservation, ironically, is also, or can be, a cure for self-loathing. keep that in mind as you continue to taunt anything that is afro-centric

**formerly known as kenspank** · 02-20-2003, 12:37 PM

Originally posted by Jamie Lennox:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by kenspank:
while a pre-teen and a teenager, i confess i dated some white girls and some latinas. white girls families weren't really feelin me. my mother wasn't really feelin me dating white girls so she proceeded to make my life into a living hades.
the latinas' families weren't really feelin me either. latinos don't really get along with each other and they sure as hell don't like to acknowledge the black latino presence in the domincan republic, puerto rico, colombia, venezuela, costa rica, mexico, peru, brazil and elsewhere.
needless to say i gave up on that shit.

i started a mission to save the nap.

the nap is an endangered species. only black people have nappy hair. many of us hate it because its not as straight as our caucasian brothers' and sisters' hair and its definitely not as straight as asian people's hair. so we heat treat our hair and chemically treat our hair to straighten it.
meanwhile, caucasians have gotten perms just so they could sport afros and japanese build expensive machines so they develop dread locks.

with all of this intercultural dating, people seem to be missing something.....they are also mixing up the gene pool.

for instance, bob marley's father was irish and his mother was black. only white people get melanoma. guess what? bob marley's father passed on that melanoma ass gene to bob marley and bob was outta there (may he rest in peace).

nevertheless, colored people tend to mate with fairer skinned people because they believe that their fairer skinned offspring will be able to acheive more success.

needless to say, i think that's a bunch of hogwash. i believe that dark skin, nappy hair and big boodies are all highly cultivated genetic tools that aid in human survival in this earth environment.

i understand that many don't agree with me. some think that being born black is a handicap. not me. i'm glad to have the opportunity to pass on the nap to my offspring. you should be glad too.

save the nap!

Philosophically, there is no difference between ‘save the nap’ and ‘preserve the Arian race’

A bunch of racist bullshit. Nothing to be proud of there.[/QUOTE]thank you for your comment. and first of all, i don't need outside affirmation from you.

ethnic mixing is a result of moving vast numbers of people from one place to another becaus of the need for cheap labor sources. in modern times, with ships and airplanes and stuff this has gotten easier. white people used chinese labor and irish labor to build the railroads. white people used indigenous american, african, and indian labor for agriculture, mining, metallurgy.

however labor needs has nothing to do with people who come form different places, look different, have different world views getting along with each other or blending into some "melting pot".

also, i think it is perfectly okay for people who have lived in the same place for thousands of years to want to preserve their identity.

race is concept designed by british anthropologists to scientifically justify their governments and their industry leaders oppressive practices. there is no basis for it in genetics because humans share 99.8% of the same genetic markers and there are no sub-species of human beings.

i have no desire to oppress others and i don't support the concept of race. i do believe that genocide and ethnic cleansing are real issues though. their basis is in greed more than anything else.

however, i invite you to read a book called the color of man. in it discusses how different peoples on planet earth got the physical characteristics they have based on local environmental conditions and natural genetic selection. for instance, millions of europeans died as a result of the black plague, but a small fraction survived as a result of a common genetic defect. same thing with people who live in tropical environments that carry the sickle-cell trate that allowed to survive a malaria epidemic long, long ago.

a group of costal divers had developed the ability to dive great depths in order to retrieve shellfish without scuba equipment by equalizing the pressure through their tear ducts. this ability was passed on genetically in their group. as their culture became "modernized" they lost that ability.

clearly you don't have nappy hair.

otherwise you would know about the good hair/bad hair issue that goes on in the black community, and be able to feel where i was coming from. you would know about the "kitchen" and the pain young black youth experienced while sitting between grandma's legs getting your hair combed. you would know about how haircare in the black community is a half a billion dollar a year expense. you would know how long blacks didn't consider themselves beautiful especially when positioned against the alabaster lusterfulness of all that is the white man and the white woman.

and most all, you would also know that i was being satirical.

**Ronnie Ron** · 02-20-2003, 12:37 PM

Originally posted by mhd:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by RonnieRon:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
successful black women have a tendancy to seek out successful black men...

You got it, and more and more sistas are becoming successfull leaving a lot of the brothas behind in that area, could this be designed to put stress between the black woman and black man, once the sista is successful she is no longer interested in the blue collar worker or someone making a descent living she wants much more than that and a so called "regular brother" is not even on her radar screen........ [img]smile.gif[/img] causing her to search and search for something she may never find all the while complaining there is no good black men available. think about it.[/QUOTE]no wonder you are having trouble getting dates, you got to broaden your scope. what do you think a LONELY succesful black woman wants?[/QUOTE]See there my friend is where you are wrong, I stated that i keep it movin, i dont consider myself having trouble finding dates, You only have trouble when you are looking for something, I aint lookin for a damn thing so there for i aint haven trouble...... ;)

**Jamie 3:26** · 02-20-2003, 12:38 PM

Originally posted by statuskuo:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JAMIE 3:26:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Leslie:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by RonnieRon:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
having money in a savings account, and not having a problem dating a brother who doesn't have it...

Ashaki i would have to see it to believe it. i havent seen any evidence of this statement not in my area anyway.[/QUOTE]Speaking for myself as a black woman I am NOT DATING any BROKE ASS MEN of any color, class, or any other criteria - if you are broke keep that shit movin'! I have a major problem being the age that I am dating a man who does not have his financial house in some semblence of order - there is a problem here (ISSUES!) - again, I don't give a hot damn what you look like. This is speaking for me alone - what others may choose to do is completely on them.[/QUOTE]Now I didnt say broke Les.There's a big difference between someone who has something and someone who is looking for handouts.Hell,I expect the same thing.I am too damn old to go backwards now.We gotta meet somewhere in the middle,ya dig?
You are a together sister,with a solid head on your shoulders and I have mad respect for that quality you have.If I was not married,I would have to knock Kai out of the way.
:D [/QUOTE]see why you gotta bring my name into this?? what car do you drive??

Leslie knows what's good for her. that's all.

peath.[/QUOTE]Stop being so sensitive man.... :D

**statuskuo** · 02-20-2003, 12:39 PM

Leslie and her gals will be starring in "One can play that Game II"

**mhd** · 02-20-2003, 12:41 PM

Originally posted by Ashaki:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Leslie:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
I may be wrong about this but if I am I know someone will correct me...

the difference between successful black women and successful black men, is that once black men become successful, they seek and marry white women. successful black women have a tendancy to seek out successful black men... brothers act as if white women are their trophy for success...jmo

Ashaki, I live in Norhern NJ, I have plenty of girlfriends who are married to successful black men (it also helps that these Sista's are the bomb themselves in the paycheck area) making in excess of 6 figures - please don't confuse what you see in print or tv as to what entertainers and sports figures are doing as the law of the land - it ain't necessarily so....[/QUOTE]Leslie, that is seriously good to know...[/QUOTE]c'mon, you kidding right? you did not know this? you need to move, you are living in a dangerous place

**Koffy Brown** · 02-20-2003, 12:42 PM

Originally posted by konbit:
Ashaki,

I assume that the reason you date people is to find a loving, caring companion. Right? Why don't YOU date outside of YOUR race? Surely that chances of meeting somebody with the above description is greatly increased...right? Unless, of course, you are physically repulsed by the looks of men of other races...

Konbit,
I went on a date with a white man once. I could not enjoy myself because of extreme guilt feelings. I do look for love and a caring companion, but for me true love can only be experienced with a black man. I need a man to understand that we have work to do and not just with us (he and I)...

**Ronnie Ron** · 02-20-2003, 12:44 PM

Originally posted by Leslie:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by RonnieRon:
all you want him to be is successfull?

define successful and don't assume our definitions coinside....[/QB][/QUOTE]I cant define what is successfull to you only you know that. I dont think a persons worth is whats in their pocket, I would say that even if i had 1 million dollars, I was not brought up that way and my kids wont be either. Money comes and Money goes but your character and the type of person you are stays with you. If you can find a good man with Character and his wallet is fat more power to you. There is much more to a man than whats in his wallet, I will always believe that until my last breath...

**Mocambo** · 02-20-2003, 12:46 PM

118 post in 2 hours. Is that a record?

**Bill Blake** · 02-20-2003, 12:46 PM

Originally posted by mhd:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Jamie Lennox:
People with a high self esteem and a good sense of self worth would not be concerned with this issue in the way it was presented.

The concern on who Black man date and why is it not me or the ‘sistas’ is more a sign of one’s own insecurities than anything else.

Her problems, mhd are not based on self preservation (I disagree with Cheddi) they are based on self loathing.

Like I said: It aint anyone’s goddamn business.

agreed, self-loathing can come from within or without, a cure for self-preservation, ironically, is also, or can be, a cure for self-loathing. keep that in mind as you continue to taunt anything that is afro-centric[/QUOTE]Im not taunting anyones afro centricity and you know it.

What you call 'cures' are indeed not (and you know that too) they are the typical reactionary responses historically by people that post much like some of the people on this thread, who instead of deriving their sense of worth from themselves, do so based on their group or their race, which in the end doesnt really validate much of anything.

This is the same thing the white supremacy types do, as do all racist.

My advice is find a GOOD man. Not a black one. If it really floats your boat it shouldnt be to hard to find a good man thats black.

But if this is any indication of what is going on inside then someone should be more concerned about getting there own shit together than worrying about what other people do or men in general.

Someone needs some ‘self reflection’ time.

**Koffy Brown** · 02-20-2003, 12:48 PM

speaking of successful...that definition is personal, it will change from one individual to another...now mainstream may have a concept of what's successful...

**konbit** · 02-20-2003, 12:48 PM

Originally posted by Ashaki:
Konbit,
I went on a date with a white man once. I could not enjoy myself because of extreme guilt feelings. I do look for love and a caring companion, but for me true love can only be experienced with a black man. I need a man to understand that we have work to do and not just with us (he and I)...

Well, at least you gave it a try. ;) Good luck in your continuing search...may you find the one!

**Koffy Brown** · 02-20-2003, 12:49 PM

Originally posted by RonnieRon:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Leslie:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by RonnieRon:
all you want him to be is successfull?

define successful and don't assume our definitions coinside....[/QUOTE]I cant define what is successfull to you only you know that. I dont think a persons worth is whats in their pocket, I would say that even if i had 1 million dollars, I was not brought up that way and my kids wont be either. Money comes and Money goes but your character and the type of person you are stays with you. If you can find a good man with Character and his wallet is fat more power to you. There is much more to a man than whats in his wallet, I will always believe that until my last breath...[/QB][/QUOTE]Thank you Ron...I truly agree....

**Xia** · 02-20-2003, 12:49 PM

I think that to love and be loved is truly a rarity, and it makes no sense to limit your possibilitites by excluding people because of race (or gender, but that's another thread ;) )

As for preserving any sense of community, that is does not automatically come along with race. There are plenty of same race marriages (Japanese, Latin, Black) who pass nothing on of their language or culture to their children. Maybe it's taken for granted. You become more aware of that in a 'mixed' relationship and may make more of an effort than if your partner was the same race as you.
As for preserving genetics, if we weren't meant to be able to 'mate' with other races it would be a physical or genetic impossibility, IMO. To me that demonstrates that the most important 'genetics' in this equation are just human ones. Like I said above, preserving other aspects of a person, culture is up to each individual.

I date people I'm attracted to who I feel are good to me.
This isn't some Kumbayah (sp?)-I-don't-see-color-lets-all-sit-around-a-fire hippy stuff.
It's just a reality in this world today, if LOVE is what you want you have to be open.

I know some Black men who have the 'trophy' relationships, but alot of 'successful' men do that. (Q: Where's Peggy from college when Bob finally gets a practice in Beverly Hills?
A: Out on her A**! [img]graemlins/mecry.gif[/img] While Bob dates 21y/o Candee

)
It may be more obvious when it's interracial, but it goes on across the board.

Thread: Interracial Relationships

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