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Thread: Hey Djs..a dilemma

  1. #1
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    di·lem·ma
    A situation that requires a choice between options that are or seem equally unfavorable or mutually exclusive.


    You are deejaying, the crowd is going wild, the place is really, really pack(pack like Brooklyn Labor Day Parade at Nostrand Ave), you are in the middle of a great mix, all of a sudden you have to pee, really, really have to pee, you thought you could wait it out but....the bathroom is on the opposite side of the dancefloor, long way around.....what do you do?

    :(

    The test of the dj....just some of the things that they have to go through at live functions.
    I Am Almost Keeping It Real

  2. #2
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    get an empty water bottle and piss in that. then Keep Working.
    [img]graemlins/acclaim.gif[/img]

    w
    word

  3. #3
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    I pissed behind the stage at the bbq.
    Message Board \"Has Been\"

  4. #4
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    Originally posted by Ghost Of Donger:
    I pissed behind the stage at the bbq.
    Everybody did...
    I Am Almost Keeping It Real

  5. #5
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    You should always carry an empty 2-liter bottle with you,especially for outdoor events.

    You could also play Star Suite and have a pee,go get a beer,and something to eat...before the chorus even kicks in... [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]

  6. #6
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    Find Pienso Y Tu in your crates, work that joint in and you got 12 minutes EASY... [img]smile.gif[/img]

    Peace
    <cfif isDefined("session.user.sense") and ('#session.user.sense#') eq '0'>
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  7. #7
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    Originally posted by JAMIE 3:26:


    You could also play Star Suite and have a pee,go get a beer,and something to eat...before the chorus even kicks in... [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]
    Remember you are in the already in the middle of the mix....I like the 2 litre bottle idea
    I Am Almost Keeping It Real

  8. #8
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    Originally posted by DeesKo:
    Find Pienso Y Tu in your crates, work that joint in and you got 12 minutes EASY... [img]smile.gif[/img]

    Peace
    Here's another part to it....you got nothing but dj hawks in the area, just waiting to pounce, all carrying little bags of records to make themselves look like djs.
    I Am Almost Keeping It Real

  9. #9
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    play e2 e4 if you have diarreah.
    Message Board \"Has Been\"

  10. #10
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    Originally posted by liL Ray:
    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by DeesKo:
    Find Pienso Y Tu in your crates, work that joint in and you got 12 minutes EASY... [img]smile.gif[/img]

    Peace
    Here's another part to it....you got nothing but dj hawks in the area, just waiting to pounce, all carrying little bags of records to make themselves look like djs. </font>[/QUOTE]Ok... so you tweak the EQ's as a way to get out of your current mix quicker than you originally intended without it being obvious...
    ...you grab the 2 liter bottle and a screwdriver/knife/cutting utensil and poke 3 or 4 holes in the cap of the 2 liter bottle so as to turn a harmless 2 liter bottle into a weapon...

    You take your leak in the bottle, put the top back on and threaten to squirt urine on anyone that comes within 10 feet of the console.

    [img]smile.gif[/img]

    Peace
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  11. #11
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    here's my advice. note: 1 & 2 don't apply to liLRay's question. it's obviously too late at this point. [img]graemlins/drink.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/all_coholic.gif[/img]

    1- empty your bladder b4 your gig
    2- don't drink too much
    3- stay relaxed
    4- in the event of an urgent situation, place your left hand over your perineum (bladder area) push in gently, close your eyes & take a deep breath, hold for 3 seconds then exhale. repeat several times. the urge to pee should go away.
    5-have special camouflaged device installed under console where you can line up your member for instant relief.
    6-call the ex that always had a thing for fetishes but you were too conservative at the time.
    7-wear a diaper
    8-bring xtra pants & underwear if all else fails.

    you got me liLRay. what the hell are you going on about?
    "We're not just dancing to have fun-we're dancing for survival. We're dancing to save our lives." PTT

  12. #12
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    "The Mobile DJ Water Closet"
    You need 1 x Funnel

    1 x Roll Gaffa tape (duct tape will do)

    1 x 2ft peice flexi hose

    1 x Gallon plastic carton
    Attach funnel to thigh just below zipper, funnel to flexi hose, flexi hose into carton. Attach carton at knee with Gaffa (or duct) tape.

    Jobs a goodun!! (change carton when full).
    \"The end of the Earth is upon us pretty soon it will all turn to dust. So get up! Forget the past, go outside, and have a blast.\"

  13. #13
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    The majority of my edits & remixes are 10+ minutes long, I just throw one on and continue mission.

  14. #14
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    at this rate, most of us deep house dj's will be soon wearing depends anyway :(
    <a href=\"http://www.dinoandterry.com\" target=\"_blank\">www.dinoandterry.com</a>

  15. #15
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    don't hold it.

    i hear that it's bad to hold it in you gotta let it flow.

    w
    word

  16. #16
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    You piss in your pants and play it off by telling folks that the mix was so hot that it made you wet yourself :D

    Seriously, you get out of that mix and go do what you gotta do.

  17. #17
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    Be professional, take care of business, before you hit the tables

    Larry

  18. #18

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    you need one of these suits so you can sweat, pee, and dookie inside of it without a problem. then the waste material will be recycled into drinking water and other useful things. [img]graemlins/acclaim.gif[/img]

  19. #19
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    You men are some disgusting animals.. [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]
    Why can't I change my displayed name back to Ashaki?

  20. #20

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    Originally posted by Ashaki:
    You men are some disgusting animals.. [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]
    just keepin it real.

  21. #21
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    Originally posted by kenspank:
    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
    You men are some disgusting animals.. [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]
    just keepin it real. </font>[/QUOTE]that's what I'm talking about [img]graemlins/puke.gif[/img]
    Why can't I change my displayed name back to Ashaki?

  22. #22

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    Originally posted by Ashaki:
    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by kenspank:
    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Ashaki:
    You men are some disgusting animals.. [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]
    just keepin it real. </font>[/QUOTE]that's what I'm talking about [img]graemlins/puke.gif[/img] </font>[/QUOTE]you like it.

  23. #23
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    Originally posted by kenspank:


    you need one of these suits so you can sweat, pee, and dookie inside of it without a problem. then the waste material will be recycled into drinking water and other useful things. [img]graemlins/acclaim.gif[/img]
    HAAAA! Kenspank with the stillsuit reference!!

    Those things are good for two days...for those extra long sets....

    KragShot

  24. #24
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    Originally posted by Mike Johnson:
    You piss in your pants and play it off by telling folks that the mix was so hot that it made you wet yourself :D
    That's a dj for ya...let nothing get in the way...hahahaha.

    Cosmic, I like the call kinky ex....nothing up my sleeve, by the way Cosmic...this type of stuff happen all the time....happen this week....I just threw on some sing-a-long classic and made a be line to the bathroom....crowd thought I was possessed.

    Larry, everybody can't be as professional as you, papa...
    I Am Almost Keeping It Real

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