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Thread: FAO: Darrow

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    8,625

    FAO: Darrow

    About your adoption process.

    I'm very happy for you and them, I will adopt as soon as I can. Even if I'm very happy to have 2 biological sons, I have enough space left for those who don't or can't have parents.
    I wish I started by adoption, anyway... What I wanted to say to you is something I went deep into concerning adoption.

    Maybe you already read me on this point, but here's what I need to say:
    Whenever you hear adoption stories, the majority is about kids who grew up to be gangsters, drugs abusers, and all kind of bad characters.
    You hear that these kids became horrible in their teen years and their parents couldn't handle them and suffered from it.

    So, I've heard so many times these stories that I was really concerned by getting the truth.

    I asked people (who were always giving away their same stories) to tell me how close they were to the adopting families they described. Like 90% have suddendly been very strong about the details, while the others told me that these were just stories they heard during a diner or conversation.

    When I went into the details with the 90%, they couldn't give me names for the kids or family, or they couldn't give me an address, or it was in another city, or this was becoming and old souvenir from somewhere...

    For those (a few) who could continue with their details, they ALL fell apart after 30 minutes. While the vast majority finally did confess that these story were only something they heard during a conversation, elsewhere.

    SO, don't ever listen to this kind of bullshit, and prosecute by words anyone who tries to let you think adoption is a bad thing to do, and that you will pay one day or another for this choice.

    I know a lot of people who adopted kids, single mothers, gay parents, heteros, and the only bad ending I've heard (on 30/40 family stories) is a boy who has been spending his life in prison till he was a teen. But if you knew how foolish was the education of his parents, this was not so much of a random path.

    Peace and Love your kids


    Idance

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Baltimore, MD
    Posts
    5,372
    Hi, the crackhouse. Thanks for reaching out.

    Yep, we often hear the adoption horror stories - children with behavioral issues, children with undisclosed development challenges or health issues, adoptive parents that turn out to be abusive, etc.

    Taking in and raising children who have been neglected, abused, abandoned or otherwise mistreated is a serious challenge. Many (certainly not all) of the kids do come with health issues and/or emotional/behavioral issues and it takes a high level of commitment and patience to help them. BUT it's doable and there are lots of success stories out there.

    I'm happy to talk to you (or anyone reading this post) offline about adoption and foster care (from my perspective) whenever you want.

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