Whitney's Funeral

[Suspended]

Definitely agree that having it all might not be all its cracked up to be (however, if I ever get there, I'll send you a post card and invite you to the afterparty) We all fuck up. My issue is that, when we have children, we can't continue to choose to screw up. Babies didn't ask to be here. However, once they arrive, all selfishness has got to go out the window

The first sentiment I expressed in this thread touched on the same thing. Doing what's good for your child/children should always be paramount. I can't imagine losing sight of that.

[DaBownca]

So now I see the Enquirer posted pictures of her dead body in the casket? I don't know what's worse the vultures or the people who buy that rag to see the work those vultures put out.

[Martin Red]

the people who buy that rag

Supply and demand, the people buying are creating the market, blame the celebrity culture and those that buy into it, tmz, hello readers etc. Same shit with Diana, she died being chased by photographers because cunts wanted to purchase papers with her picture in it, then when she died, they are the exact same idiots that bought the papers with the 20 page Diana Death special, whilst an outpouring of crocodile tears over someone they did not know, these fools didn't realise it was probably their shiney attention that put the nails in her coffin.

I mean, pictures of a bath that contained a dead person earlier, who thought that was a good idea, yeah PEOPLE will want to see that cold dead empty bath water, no really PEOPLE will. Now, serious question, was there a floater in that bath, that they removed prior to the tabloid snap, and if so who has that golden shit ?

She was such a goddess to me back then her and Diana. When she was on she was on, no one touched her vocally. Mariah Carey said it best "little girls who wanted to be singers looked to whitney". And little gay boys and drag queens wished they were whitney.

[DaBownca]

Supply and demand, the people buying are creating the market, blame the celebrity culture and those that buy into it, tmz, hello readers etc.

I blame all involved from the lowlife who took and sold the picture to the rag printing it to the people who buy it therefore validating their existence. How did we as humans sink so low?

[Martin Red]

I blame all involved from the lowlife who took and sold the picture to the rag printing it to the people who buy it therefore validating their existence. How did we as humans sink so low?

exactly.

[ngeso]

Kill your idols.

[House]

Kill your idols.

Agreed

The cult of personality is obscene. The Enquirer is the obvious bad guy. Most others were just "fans". The Houston saga has been a ridiculous spectacle for years and the grand guignol finale is the true reflection of our times; THIS is important

[Fletch]

I've been reading the responses to this thread. I'll chime in.....

One thing that I've learned is that it is ultimately up to the addict him/herself to get help. No one else can make that choice except the addict. While keeping it real with the addict is correct, the addiction makes the addict not give a you-know-what about people keepin' it real with them! Remember when the pipe was talking to Richard Pryor? "Come on, Rich. It's just me and you!" Even the prospect of Jim Brown kicking Richard Pryor's ass ("Whatcha gonna do?") didn't matter!

Just as much as there were people who let Whitney be Whitney, I'm sure that there were plenty of people who kept it real with her, and told her to her face that she needed help. But at the end of the day, it was up to her.

Now, the question is this: how much more can you do when the addict decides to keep going down the addictive path? You've kept it real with them and call them a junkie to their face; you've given them information on drug abuse centers and programs. What more can you do?

[House]

I've been reading the responses to this thread. I'll chime in.....

One thing that I've learned is that it is ultimately up to the addict him/herself to get help. No one else can make that choice except the addict. While keeping it real with the addict is correct, the addiction makes the addict not give a you-know-what about people keepin' it real with them! Remember when the pipe was talking to Richard Pryor? "Come on, Rich. It's just me and you!" Even the prospect of Jim Brown kicking Richard Pryor's ass ("Whatcha gonna do?") didn't matter!

Just as much as there were people who let Whitney be Whitney, I'm sure that there were plenty of people who kept it real with her, and told her to her face that she needed help. But at the end of the day, it was up to her.

Now, the question is this: how much more can you do when the addict decides to keep going down the addictive path? You've kept it real with them and call them a junkie to their face; you've given them information on drug abuse centers and programs. What more can you do?

Ostracism and non-enablement works for me, because it ain't all good

[Daniel, Grand Duke of Stony Island]

What more can you do?

A family member or loved one can step in and be a voice of reason in the life of the child of the person on the destructive path. Rom and his father and siblings were my saving grace when I was 9 until she moved me away when i was 11. They even rescued me weekends at a time when I was stuck out in the boonies. His dad never judged. I'd go to a phone and call Rom. He'd hear in my voice that shit was ill. A few hours later, his dad and he are parked outside. "Hi Mrs. G. Hope it's ok. My dad and I wanted Danny to come with us for the weekend." Then I'd be there for 2 weeks. When I did go back, I felt stronger and more positive about my chances in life. That's all I needed. Again, they never judged. They knew she was damaged beyond repair. Unlike others, however, they didn't turn a blind eye to the survivors.

My mom's bestie rescued me from oblivion when I was 17. Just walked right up on my mom and told her, "I'm getting him out of here." She crammed into 2 years all the raising my mom failed to do in 8. We see each other at least once a month. She's still apologizing for her best friend. It's not necessary, but it's sweet.

When the call came that my mom was dead, I was 20, in L.A., on the set of HP3. Went back to the room I was renting to find a pink message slip on my bed: "Your uncle called. Your mother is dead. Sorry."

I went for a walk, astonished at my relief. She was the age I just made a week or two ago - 41. She was my favorite person when she was coherent and a true advocate. When her ego needs took over and she reached for those substances, she was either a walking corpse or an abusive demon.

You just recalibrate. You sidestep the addict and be bold with supporting those the addict leaves in their wake. You may have to put them on blast. You may have to put the spotlight on them. You may have a war. Quit the addict, fine. Don't quit on those who are subject to the addict's irresponsibility. Serve the need of the moment. Support those who choose life.

[House]

A family member or loved one can step in and be a voice of reason in the life of the child of the person on the destructive path. Rom and his father and siblings were my saving grace when I was 9 until she moved me away when i was 11. They even rescued me weekends at a time when I was stuck out in the boonies. His dad never judged. I'd go to a phone and call Rom. He'd hear in my voice that shit was ill. A few hours later, his dad and he are parked outside. "Hi Mrs. G. Hope it's ok. My dad and I wanted Danny to come with us for the weekend." Then I'd be there for 2 weeks. When I did go back, I felt stronger and more positive about my chances in life. That's all I needed. Again, they never judged. They knew she was damaged beyond repair. Unlike others, however, they didn't turn a blind eye to the survivors.

My mom's bestie rescued me from oblivion when I was 17. Just walked right up on my mom and told her, "I'm getting him out of here." She crammed into 2 years all the raising my mom failed to do in 8. We see each other at least once a month. She's still apologizing for her best friend. It's not necessary, but it's sweet.

When the call came that my mom was dead, I was 20, in L.A., on the set of HP3. Went back to the room I was renting to find a pink message slip on my bed: "Your uncle called. Your mother is dead. Sorry."

I went for a walk, astonished at my relief. She was the age I just made a week or two ago - 41. She was my favorite person when she was coherent and a true advocate. When her ego needs took over and she reached for those substances, she was either a walking corpse or an abusive demon.

You just recalibrate. You sidestep the addict and be bold with supporting those the addict leaves in their wake. You may have to put them on blast. You may have to put the spotlight on them. You may have a war. Quit the addict, fine. Don't quit on those who are subject to the addict's irresponsibility. Serve the need of the moment. Support those who choose life.

Damn. That's a powerful story. Thanks for sharing and teaching

[Daniel, Grand Duke of Stony Island]

Damn. That's a powerful story. Thanks for sharing and teaching

You know, man...looking at it from 1000 ft above, it seems as if I experienced all of it just to be able to share it. Otherwise, I can't see a point.

Im a product of my own will, sure. One of my tools has been harnessing the goodness of others who followed their inspiration to help me stay strong.

Just Sunday I laughed at something Armen said. It struck me that my big laugh - my huge guffaw, side-split, spontaneous laugh is actually Rom's laugh. The laugh I would labor for telling him jokes, spending time with him, just hangin', where I could be safe from it all. I realize I carry around a piece of him all the time. I felt so weak and confused sometimes when I was a kid, but that laugh was the sound of my brother having my back through tough times.

Maybe we're the sum of our experiences. Me, I only add the good experiences. In sharing, I magnify those experiences beyond me. I keep them alive. Making Rom laugh was an exercise of self worth. Hearing him laugh validated me. Watching him fall over, howling, at something I said or acted out gave me positive control. Frickin' Rom made me feel like Richard FoxxPryorMurphy. It made me feel like I was real and not just an ignored shadow.

I need that laugh so much, I took it with me. Hahaha. The lost are so in order to be found, man. Addicts aren't lost. They're ABSENT, by choice. Their charges - those are the truly lost. They're lost to be found. It's a legendary process. We see it play out through antiquity.

[ngeso]

A family member or loved one can step in and be a voice of reason in the life of the child of the person on the destructive path. Rom and his father and siblings were my saving grace when I was 9 until she moved me away when i was 11. They even rescued me weekends at a time when I was stuck out in the boonies. His dad never judged. I'd go to a phone and call Rom. He'd hear in my voice that shit was ill. A few hours later, his dad and he are parked outside. "Hi Mrs. G. Hope it's ok. My dad and I wanted Danny to come with us for the weekend." Then I'd be there for 2 weeks. When I did go back, I felt stronger and more positive about my chances in life. That's all I needed. Again, they never judged. They knew she was damaged beyond repair. Unlike others, however, they didn't turn a blind eye to the survivors.

My mom's bestie rescued me from oblivion when I was 17. Just walked right up on my mom and told her, "I'm getting him out of here." She crammed into 2 years all the raising my mom failed to do in 8. We see each other at least once a month. She's still apologizing for her best friend. It's not necessary, but it's sweet.

When the call came that my mom was dead, I was 20, in L.A., on the set of HP3. Went back to the room I was renting to find a pink message slip on my bed: "Your uncle called. Your mother is dead. Sorry."

I went for a walk, astonished at my relief. She was the age I just made a week or two ago - 41. She was my favorite person when she was coherent and a true advocate. When her ego needs took over and she reached for those substances, she was either a walking corpse or an abusive demon.

You just recalibrate. You sidestep the addict and be bold with supporting those the addict leaves in their wake. You may have to put them on blast. You may have to put the spotlight on them. You may have a war. Quit the addict, fine. Don't quit on those who are subject to the addict's irresponsibility. Serve the need of the moment. Support those who choose life.

Wow.

[SuzanneT]

A family member or loved one can step in and be a voice of reason in the life of the child of the person on the destructive path. Rom and his father and siblings were my saving grace when I was 9 until she moved me away when i was 11. They even rescued me weekends at a time when I was stuck out in the boonies. His dad never judged. I'd go to a phone and call Rom. He'd hear in my voice that shit was ill. A few hours later, his dad and he are parked outside. "Hi Mrs. G. Hope it's ok. My dad and I wanted Danny to come with us for the weekend." Then I'd be there for 2 weeks. When I did go back, I felt stronger and more positive about my chances in life. That's all I needed. Again, they never judged. They knew she was damaged beyond repair. Unlike others, however, they didn't turn a blind eye to the survivors.

My mom's bestie rescued me from oblivion when I was 17. Just walked right up on my mom and told her, "I'm getting him out of here." She crammed into 2 years all the raising my mom failed to do in 8. We see each other at least once a month. She's still apologizing for her best friend. It's not necessary, but it's sweet.

When the call came that my mom was dead, I was 20, in L.A., on the set of HP3. Went back to the room I was renting to find a pink message slip on my bed: "Your uncle called. Your mother is dead. Sorry."

I went for a walk, astonished at my relief. She was the age I just made a week or two ago - 41. She was my favorite person when she was coherent and a true advocate. When her ego needs took over and she reached for those substances, she was either a walking corpse or an abusive demon.

You just recalibrate. You sidestep the addict and be bold with supporting those the addict leaves in their wake. You may have to put them on blast. You may have to put the spotlight on them. You may have a war. Quit the addict, fine. Don't quit on those who are subject to the addict's irresponsibility. Serve the need of the moment. Support those who choose life.

You know, man...looking at it from 1000 ft above, it seems as if I experienced all of it just to be able to share it. Otherwise, I can't see a point.

Im a product of my own will, sure. One of my tools has been harnessing the goodness of others who followed their inspiration to help me stay strong.

Just Sunday I laughed at something Armen said. It struck me that my big laugh - my huge guffaw, side-split, spontaneous laugh is actually Rom's laugh. The laugh I would labor for telling him jokes, spending time with him, just hangin', where I could be safe from it all. I realize I carry around a piece of him all the time. I felt so weak and confused sometimes when I was a kid, but that laugh was the sound of my brother having my back through tough times.

Maybe we're the sum of our experiences. Me, I only add the good experiences. In sharing, I magnify those experiences beyond me. I keep them alive. Making Rom laugh was an exercise of self worth. Hearing him laugh validated me. Watching him fall over, howling, at something I said or acted out gave me positive control. Frickin' Rom made me feel like Richard FoxxPryorMurphy. It made me feel like I was real and not just an ignored shadow.

I need that laugh so much, I took it with me. Hahaha. The lost are so in order to be found, man. Addicts aren't lost. They're ABSENT, by choice. Their charges - those are the truly lost. They're lost to be found. It's a legendary process. We see it play out through antiquity.

Thanks for sharing Danny. Very moving.

[D J 1 3 8]

Thanks Danny. Very moving.

[Fletch]

I'll I stand behind what I said in my previous posting. At the same time, I will defend the homegoing celebration. While Whitney had her demons, the gift of her voice did inspire a whole bunch of people around the world. And much of the public is thankful for that gift. And the celebration last Saturday was to show appreciation for her life, however imperfect (and haven't we all sinned and come short?). As long as no one got up and told lies on that pulpit, I had no problem with Whitney's homegoing celebration. And that's part of our tradition (at least in the Black church), to celebrate life during one's passing! That's why it's called a homegoing. Peace!

[richierich]

I am glad that those around me never gave up when I was out there..It was their voices that I kept hearing that made me realize that if they love me that much to not give up on me I at least owe it to them to try and get better..They were the only real constant that was in my life..If they had given up, I prolly would have also because I didn't have the strength to do it alone..without loved ones in my corner I might be dead...

[Daniel, Grand Duke of Stony Island]

I'll I stand behind what I said in my previous posting. At the same time, I will defend the homegoing celebration. While Whitney had her demons, the gift of her voice did inspire a whole bunch of people around the world. And much of the public is thankful for that gift. And the celebration last Saturday was to show appreciation for her life, however imperfect (and haven't we all sinned and come short?). As long as no one got up and told lies on that pulpit, I had no problem with Whitney's homegoing celebration. And that's part of our tradition (at least in the Black church), to celebrate life during one's passing! That's why it's called a homegoing. Peace!

Your homegoing (such a nonsense term) had it all: a man alienated from his daughter, a daughter surrounded by her mother's enablers, stepchildren denied the space to grieve a woman who showed them love, the complete alienation of the adoring public who made her what she was…

…and Kevin Costner reminding everyone of the market viability of "The Bodyguard."

Yeah, you go ahead and defend that mess. Someone has to.

[Fletch]

Your homegoing (such a nonsense term) had it all: a man alienated from his daughter, a daughter surrounded by her mother's enablers, stepchildren denied the space to grieve a woman who showed them love, the complete alienation of the adoring public who made her what she was…

…and Kevin Costner reminding everyone of the market viability of "The Bodyguard."

Yeah, you go ahead and defend that mess. Someone has to.

I do not know why Bobby was denied access to be seated, or, at the least, to be with his daughter. I just don't know!

And I don't believe that everyone in that church was an "enabler". Maybe quite a few, but I don't know if everyone was allowing Whitney to do the things she did! I'm sure there were some in that church who tried to get Whitney help, and kept it real with her.

I never saw the Kevin Costner speech that way, as a reminder "of the market viability of The Bodyguard"

I guess we'll agree to disagree. Peace.

[liL Ray]

So now I see the Enquirer posted pictures of her dead body in the casket? I don't know what's worse the vultures or the people who buy that rag to see the work those vultures put out.

The vultures you speak of is the "close" friend or family who took that shaky picture with a cell phone and cell it for cash to the first person that had the cash (as reported).

[DaBownca]

The vultures you speak of is the "close" friend or family who took that shaky picture with a cell phone and cell it for cash to the first person that had the cash (as reported).

I knew that without even looking at the pic (I refused to) man that is where the question "How did we as humans sink so low?" in another post came from.

[rasanthony]

Grand Duke Thank you very much for the Pull up! That's very real what you went through! As I continued to read it made me think about the days when my Mom's couldn't get what she needed at that moment, and the wrath that would come after that, but by Grace and Faith she is clean because someone CARED!

@ Richierich I'm glad as well brother because it's always a joy to see you out enjoying the Musical High my brother! I'm glad someone was there for you!

Big Brother Chuck! Some savage heartless Individual got 2 Million for that picture! So I guess 2Million is worth his soul and Sanity, but like Ray said it was someone that was close to the family. Some shit we just can't make up! Sad but true!

[DeesKo]

You know, man...looking at it from 1000 ft above, it seems as if I experienced all of it just to be able to share it. Otherwise, I can't see a point.

Im a product of my own will, sure. One of my tools has been harnessing the goodness of others who followed their inspiration to help me stay strong.

Just Sunday I laughed at something Armen said. It struck me that my big laugh - my huge guffaw, side-split, spontaneous laugh is actually Rom's laugh. The laugh I would labor for telling him jokes, spending time with him, just hangin', where I could be safe from it all. I realize I carry around a piece of him all the time. I felt so weak and confused sometimes when I was a kid, but that laugh was the sound of my brother having my back through tough times.

Maybe we're the sum of our experiences. Me, I only add the good experiences. In sharing, I magnify those experiences beyond me. I keep them alive. Making Rom laugh was an exercise of self worth. Hearing him laugh validated me. Watching him fall over, howling, at something I said or acted out gave me positive control. Frickin' Rom made me feel like Richard FoxxPryorMurphy. It made me feel like I was real and not just an ignored shadow.

I need that laugh so much, I took it with me. Hahaha. The lost are so in order to be found, man. Addicts aren't lost. They're ABSENT, by choice. Their charges - those are the truly lost. They're lost to be found. It's a legendary process. We see it play out through antiquity.

Very powerful statements DG.

[MarkK]

This thread needs a sticky. Daniel, your words moved me, reminded me where I am today. Thanks!

[liL Ray]

Big Brother Chuck! Some savage heartless Individual got 2 Million for that picture! So I guess 2Million is worth his soul and Sanity, but like Ray said it was someone that was close to the family. Some shit we just can't make up! Sad but true!

From the early reports, it seem the thirsty family member took the picture, sold it for instant, little, cash to some other person who saw the real "value" in it and it was that person who got the 2million...so it wasn't the family member who got the real dough..

real set of dumbasses.